Friends 1, 2, 3

Dear Friends 1, 2, 3

 RantWoman wants to thank you for your offer of time in the current difficulties. RantWoman wants to thank you, AND RantWoman is seasoning whether she needs to be true to her Light about people wearing too many hats and to say “Thank you but no thanks” or “no thanks in the form proposed.”

 RantWoman realizes that she is reconsidering something she previously said Yes to. And RantWoman is to be true to her Light and requests that         all hold the situation in the Light.

 

Friend 1

1. Thank you for the queries for the upcoming meeting. RantWoman is likely to prepare written responses to some items and is unclear that all responses will be appropriate for this blog. RantWoman needs to request clarification. RantWoman also needs to request that we adjust our process. See below.
 

2. You have another major role in our Meeting and RantWoman has prioritized a need related to that role over expecting very much out of you in your role on Care and Counsel.

 

3. When RantWoman raised a a concern in Meeting for Business about multiple Friends both wearing too many hats and repeatedly refusing offers of help, you not only were glib about your own capacity, you spoke of assumptions about others. RantWoman is NOT asking you to speak for others. In fact, RantWoman was objecting to one nomination both because of the appointing himself to wear too many hats issue and because that Friend had not taken any time to respond to RantWoman’s question either before or after the Meeting for Business in question. If that Friend cannot respond himself, how on earth can you presume to speak for him?  
 

4. You have commented two different years in Business Meeting when matters to do with RantWoman have come up. RantWoman hears these comments as “I don’t really know what is going on and I do not really know what RantWoman has gone out of her mind, (and I have not really talked to RantWoman either) but I think we should steamroll ahead anyway. It is possible this track record is the best Care and Counsel can do in its present form, but can you possibly imagine how this history might not be the best footing for a conversation about RantWoman and trust in Meeting?

5. Your queries talk about some months when RantWoman is more agitated than other months. Is it possible that some months Meeting for Business more completely discerns the will of God? RantWoman suggests we identify the months and topics associated with agitation and review minutes and other circumstances and see where we are lead from there.

 

Friend 2                               
1. You have just accepted a major Yearly Meeting role. RantWoman admires and respects you deeply and must be true to her Light about people wearing too many hats.

2. You are the subject of RantWoman’s “How do you prefer to be eldered? Posting. RantWoman recognizes that one point of community is for people to share work when people are allergic or challenged for time or….

3. RantWoman has REPEATEDLY encouraged you to STOP FILTERING and please facilitate people talking to RantWoman directly. RantWoman reminds you that she cannot read minds. She cannot read faces. RamtWoman realizes it sounds incredible, but RantWoman's capacity to miss communications is ENORMOUS. RantWoman apologizes for this problem but cannot necessarily fix it. Even if everyone says the same thing, RantWoman can interact much better with the intensity of complaints simply by hearing them in people’s own words. RantWoman also values individual conversations because they frequently come with information or digressions that allow room for improved connection even if nothing can happen immediately—or at all—on other concerns.

 

Friend 3

1. RantWoman cannot work with your schedule being the most important constraint in the selection of dates for meetings. RantWoman realizes it is presumptious to expect input for herself upstream in scheduling meetings, and RantWoman is VERY clear to do so.
 
2. RantWoman tartly notes that deferring to your schedule sends two messages RantWoman thinks neither of us want to send. First, there is the message that you are the only person who can solve whatever problem we are working with. Considering all your other involvements, RantWoman repeats her suggestion that you consider whether this one really is yours to help solve. Second,  RantWoman has problems all the time, not just when you are available to address them . RantWoman is wondering how we can get to a process that identifies a few simple principles that LOTS of people know rather than placing ANYONE in any kind of a gatekeeper role.

 

3. RantWoman appreciates that you at least GET language about disability when RantWoman uses it around Meeting; RantWoman is still clear that it is important to hear back that others get that language too and is unclear what kind of process would lead there.

4. RantWoman has eldered you more than once about circumstances where you as a person without an obvious disability make decisions based on your preferences, not on realities or preferences of people with disabilities. Again, noting this problem may be the best anyone can do for now, but it is still a problem.

 

May we all please hold these concerns in the Light and talk further.

 In hope and care

 RantWoman