Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Abundance--of something?

Dear Readers

First you must choose your meme for today’s excursion to Planet RantWoman. Options include:

Random update for no reason software enhancement

Tinker Vs Des Moines First Amendment Supreme Court case upholding students right to wear black armbands to school during the Christmas season to protest the Vietnam war. This meme is here because RantWoman’s eighth grade history teacher cited as one of the most important Supreme Court cases ever, right behind Brown vs Board of education.

Blurred vision, double vision, and euphoria, the side effects of a long ago RantBrother pharmacological regimen. RantWoman does fine about blurred vision and double vision without any pharmaceutical help, but where the heck is the euphoria?

Biblical readings from Psalm 121, RSV, grade 2 NON-UEB braille or a Christmas passage from Isaiah 41 read with female pronouns for the divine, just to add another badass element.

Should we go with the Middle East themed bomb threats or can we work on the spending an hour and a half figuring out how to pray together angle?

Holiday manger scene with all the different symbolic creatures and personages, perhaps for Planet RantWoman as embodied in paper pasted to plywood with reinforced framing and sand bags and bales of hay to keep everything from blowing over in the howling Colorado winds of RantWoman’s childhood.

Some sort of ungainly holiday pageant, perhaps under coordinated second graders whose costumes are always askew or perhaps the sort of high schoolers RantWoman met on the bus the other day: RantWoman listened to enough of their conversation ALMOST to go all motherly on then and suggest they take care of their brain cells and get help about their substance abuse issues. Then the bus arrived at the stop for their school.

A scary, scary demon with horns and a giant cape…


RantWoman, we don’t CARE about a meme. Get to the Point.

Oh, but you must have a meme and you must also say Thank you, because that is the rule on Planet RantWoman even about "help" that is not helpful.


Are we ready? Get comfortable because this may take awhile AND wind around a bit. May the Lord Bless and Keep you and make his face to shine upon you and give you peace…


Welcome to Great Moments in Business Meeting, Accessibility Edition, Round 2 of the past year or so. Round 1 some readers may remember involved RantWoman daring to speak of wheelchair accessibility for services provided by one tenant. RantWoman is humble about whatever all added up to Madame Clerk needing to stalk out of the room. Tonight RantWoman will spare readers a Dial A Tirade sidebar about events after that business meeting. RantWoman greatly esteems the current clerk if only for pluck and fortitude. RantWoman also would not mind having different gifts herself and perhaps a meme other than the scary demon with big nasty horns that seems to appear to others whenever RantWoman tries to speak even very carefully of accessibility. Somehow the scary demon goes away when other people speak on RantWoman’s behalf, but that is pretty average #disabilityinchurch ableism and who the heck wants to be average?

Tonight we bring you Great Moments in Business Meeting, Accessibility Edition Round 2 starring Madame Clerk, Not an Idiot Friend, Self-Righteous Twenty-Something Friend, Friend who thinks growling at RantWoman will help, RantWoman, I’m not interested in your thought processes Friend, and a further cast of thousands. RantWoman invokes rather frank Noms de Blog with great caring, deep affection, and respect or at least as much of those as the love and care mentioned in the Still Didn’t get the Memo Committee on Email Immoderation announcement in the Bulletin. RantWoman also sincerely thanks Not an Idiot Friend and I am Not Interested in Your Thought Processes Friend for honest expressions of emotion, truly! Please understand RantWoman’s memory is imperfect, but this is how this month’s proceedings looked through RantWoman’s womky eyeballs.


The preparation: RantWoman has been seasoning a leading to work on disability issues for awhile. RantWoman has assembled an able adhoc committee though RantWoman selfishly would like to beg the time of a couple more Friends. RantWoman has drafted an outline of some topics, ideas, approaches and also wanted to offer Meeting for Business space to help shape the work. RantWoman has decreed that the committee will work some of the time by conference call and / or email. RantWoman has already had push-back from one committee volunteer about email, but email is an important part of RantWoman’s accessible work process protocol and RantWoman trusts that PushBack Friend will be able to cope. RantWoman has seasoned one idea enough to be ready to schedule a conference call.

RantWoman wrote up a sloppy draft of her ideas and hoped to work on them with the Care and Accountability Committee named in her direction but other members of said committee pushed in other directions. In other words, the Care and Accountability Committee is part of the impetus for focused work.

RantWoman also would have taken her draft ideas to the pre-business meeting planning meeting called Coordinating Committee, but RantWoman and Madame Clerk agreed that conversation about business meeting could happen later in the week. At that point Madame Clerk demurred: she did not want to bring anything to business meeting that had not gone to Coordinating committee, BUT RantWoman would be allowed to make an announcement and have a table at lunch afterward. This option is NOT preferable on Planet RantWoman because RantWoman finds noisy environments hard to deal with; also RantWoman was due at Irrepressible Nephew’s birthday.

Apparently God had other ideas anyway, other ideas in the form of hours and hours (well not really but close) fussing about minutes and other moments as below.

Meeting for Worship with attention to business opened as usual: welcome, reading, introduction of people visiting or attending Meeting for Business for the first time. God and those in attendance made it through announcements and the first two items with little fanfare. Then it was time for minutes. RantWoman appreciates Madame Clerk allowing her to ask how many others besides RantWoman read the draft minutes when they come out by email on Friday. RantWoman was pleased to have a sense that several Friends do, but RantWoman could not see and did not ask for a precise count. RantWoman also pblutly spoke of need to be honest about what works and what does not work. Hence some detail here. RantWoman is VERY grateful for many things that make a great deal of difference. RantWoman wants Friends to understand what matters, and RantWoman is ruthless about freeing everyone of things that do not work.


RantWoman was called to offer two corrections to a previous month’s report about the Care and Accountability Committee. RantWoman will spare readers all the details of the discussion. Are RantWoman’s corrections factual? RantWoman spoke only to things she specifically remembers saying. The Recording clerk had already discarded her notes. She also acknowledged considering what to record of RantWoman’s previous month comments with others, though when RantWoman emailed after reading the minutes on Friday, Friend Recording Clerk said she would only corrections in the "worshipful" space of Meeting for Business. Sigh. RantWoman is an all life is a prayer Quaker and figured Light might show up many ways.

One of RantWoman’s corrections is somewhat redundant to something already in the draft minutes but RantWoman specifically remembered speaking to it and wanted it in the minutes. Another referred to a long ago nominating committee conversation, a conversation from before the era of the person who then spoke. Would the points of concern to RantWoman even be in the old committee minutes? Should corrections appear at all? Should they appear in the current month’s minutes or with the previous month’s minutes? RantWoman deeply blesses the Friend who underscored RantWoman’s points but more Friends kept wanting to weigh in about this month or last month and the clerk keep asking the room whether there was unity about what to include. No. More discussion. Round and round.

Somewhere in the round and round NOT an idiot Friend spoke of feeling deeply hurt by the juxtaposition of his name and the word Idiot. RantWoman tried to respond to the pain and apologize. RantWoman wonders after the fact whether she should also apologize for failing to speak up for a long long time about utter exasperation with Not and Idiot Friends communications practices. In any case, RantWoman was speaking her truth as comfortingly as she could manage and this was not enough for Self Righteous Twenty Something Friend. Self Righteous Friend was so offended he thought RantWoman should leave or, others insist, leave for the day and so apparently did the rest of the room.

RantWoman had already spoken of moments in Quaker history when a Friend is called to stand or in this case sit alone. RantWoman was very clear she was not going anywhere and not just because of being ferociously not in unity to leave from the very discussion she is led to have. RantWoman was not going anywhere on grounds of safety for everyone. RantWoman is large, legally blind, and not well-coordinate when she is upset or angry, By that time Friends had tried to surround RantWoman and RantWoman was clear to sit.

One Friend voiced outrage and stomped out. RantWoman was told others apparently also stomped out.

So the rest of the room decided to sing and then leave.

Jesus Christ on a pizza crust with Kimchi and Goad Cheese!

PLEASE hold us all in the Light.



Saturday, December 8, 2018

Cornucopia with Email Immoderation

An announcement in the weekly bulletin at RantWoman’s meeting. Nominating Committee has trouble filling many roles but the Still Didn’t Get the Memo Committee on Email Immoderation appears to be doing just fine. Imagine if Nominating Committee were able to use the energy flowing among the "harsh" and "rambling" words. 

The White Christmas cactus

Our Meeting includes individuals whose comments, ministry and/or emails may be aggressive,

harsh, or rambling, and who misuse Quaker process. We are working on bringing our

community together to hold these Friends both in the Light and accountable for their words

and actions. If you have questions or concerns, speak with the individual closing meeting for

worship. If you experience or witness harassment, either in person or online please notify

Care and Counsel Committee. The co-clerks are Friend A (who has various Noms de Blog) and Friend B (known in RantWoman’s experience for NOT interacting with his email AT ALL)


Draft minutes SHOULD say something like

“The announcement in the bulletin…refers to more than one person.”


RantWoman will be offering a correction.


Cornucopia with street crossing

The Pink One This year

Below is an actual email from RantWoman's archive with time stamps preserved. RantWoman retrieved it while factchecking who actually was present at a long ago Nominating Committee meeting where everything to do with disability was declared off topic. Who? Not one person RantWoman mentioned, but a different former Clerk of many things.

From: Friend whose current title implies one MIGHT wish to be able to expect more of her, aka "It's not Good for the Community Friend" before RantWoman managed to speak when she desparately needed to speak to someone of the Grab the Blind Person and bless them issue presented here.
Date: Tue, 14 Jun 2011 19:08:32 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Re: It's about crossing the street
To: (RantWoman)
(emphasis added)
too much to read, RantWoman (with RantWoman's first name misspelled).
I do catch a desire to go slow and breathe, though
From: RantWoman
To: Friend whose title ...as above
Cc: Previous holder of said title
Sent: Tue, June 14, 2011 5:37:46 AM
Subject: It's about crossing the street
Hi Friend
Thank you for the phone conversation last night.
Thank you for the thought about everyone having pain and suffering
being a choice. I think there is a difference between letting pain
show and suffering. More than one person has said I have seemed more
frustrated recently than in the past. Well, duh! On the other hand, I
decided about the time I turned 40 that I was going to stop pretending
that some lifelong problems didn't cause difficulty. If it has taken
this long and 2 detached retinas and a whole bunch of other stuff for
other people to notice, maybe I have been doing too good a job of
pretending for a long time.
There is a difference though between letting pain show and suffering.
If I let pain show it's because I do not have energy to keep hiding it
or because there are really good practical reasons I need to live in
physical reality. People should not assume that because I am letting
pain show that I am suffering. I am not letting pain show to cause
other people suffering. If others suffer on my account, God bless them
but it's not something I mean to cause. …
On the other hand, I am not exempt from responsibility for causing
pain if the cause is within my control and part of the whole said committee thing
really IS a sincere effort to figure out whether I am causing other
pain in a way I can control and need to fix OR whether I just need to
take up space for my reality the same way everyone else does about
children and travel plans and concert schedules. At this point I think
there is both but I am not getting good signals because of people not
dealing with what looks different because of vision loss. And then a
bunch of supposed elders need to consider whether we can TRY to
address conflicts like grownups. I am sorry the answer with the
current lot seems to be NO and people basically stopped talking and
being willing to interact.
So that's one issue with my continuing proviso regarding people
talking ABOUT me, not TO ME.
But back to Drama in Meeting for Business. Thank you for mentioning my
nomination. Again, I expect that was considerably more talking ABOUT
me than talking TO me. Very few people realize half the issue has to do with crossing the street and the other half has to do with my repeated ccrack about Hospitality Committee being pastoral care plus knives and hot liquids. Whatever do I mean?
I actually LIKE going walking with a certain Friend. (For the record, Conflict Is a Gift of God Friend)  I have lots of people in my life with mobility challenges. That Friend has bad knees but he sets a better pace than lots of other people I frequently travel with. He has ONE problem though: he is a lousy sighted guide in the first place but in the second he thinks I should be willing just to expect that multiple lanes of traffic will see my white cane at numbers of times when it looks to me like he is just unwilling to walk to the stop light. In split second decisions, I don't need to argue
with that Friend. I don't need other people to season things for a few millenia. I just need not to get run over.
The knives and hot liquids issue has to do partly I guess with me still needing space for some feelings about vision loss and with an incident involving that Friend and another Friend I have also had occasion to observe over time in Meeting and out of Meeting. Both have
hidden disabilities and it actually took ME many MONTHS of reflection to get a couple really important points about what was under anyone's control and what was not. There are BIG hold tenderly points on both sides of that incident AND big issues of ME needing to come to a
better centered place about issues on both sides. I am of two minds about whether any of that should have played out in more detail in Meeting for Business. Like I say, there are BIG hold tenderly points which are not "Get out of jail free." I don't think it's necessarily terrible for a community to know each other's sore places. In general I think the choice to bring it up belongs to the person involved BUT I think there is room for Friends to observe and then decisions about
how to handle tenderly, a point where I know there is various history in Meeting.
These points are tangled with some other bad boundaries on my part and with some other basic respect for my time issues and some other vulnerability because for instance of new barriers for me about reading. Then there are some other Quaker world according to that
Friend not being world according to others points. Only the latter really made it to Meeting for Business. When I find ways to take responsibility for my own needs and see past my personal rage and irritation, I think some of what happened was a valuable exercise in
Quaker process and in seeing what Friends get or don't get. I do not
think my nomination was the best vehicle for that. In fact, if I wanted to be in suffering mode, I could have a really big tirade about a number of isms and why (RantWoman) instead of other vehicles but sometimes we go with what we have. Business Meeting is on the minds of
multiple people in our community and I expect more will work itself
out in the fullness of time.
But why IN THIS CASE let things go to Business Meeting?
One reason is the talking ABOUT vs talking TO.
Another issue is that I have FULL STOPS about people not even trying with a clearness committee and about the decision being made not involving a conversation among all committee members and no interaction with my question about how is Spirit moving among us. I think this is a particularly big problem because I frequently experience the incoming clerk as very disrespectful and dismissive and
insensitive about others' reactions and because I do not see the other
people wanting to throw me off the committee as being able to model conflict resolution.
Still another reason is how little respect Nominating Committee showed for my time and discernment. Because no one on W&M talked to me directly, I ONLY got secondhand mush when ( 2 Friends) talked to me.

At that point, I took IMMEDIATE action to try to get direct
information and made LOTS of efforts to hear people.
[In the conversation referenced here, members of Nominating Committee including a VERY Weighty Friend declared everything to do with disability and reasonable accommodations off-topic]
Conversations with Nom Comm were all about why won't I resign. When I
tried to explain interactions between(a certain committee) experience and
accommodations, I heard NO willingness by Nom Comm to reconsider. I
stand by the point that came up multiple times that I was called to
ask whether Nom Comm was seasoning the wrong questions.
I had told Nom Comm multiple times multiple ways that I was unclear
but that knowing what roster they intended to propose might have made
a difference in my discernment. I finally sent (members of Nominating Committee) a "cut
the crap" email on Saturday night and when I saw there were no new
names, I became VERY clear that I needed to be heard. IF there had
been new names, I am not sure how I would have been led differently
but I definitely would have been led differently. At this point I am
clear about some "we are all ministers of God" points and that is
enough said for now.
(paragraph omitted)
In the Light

Friday, December 7, 2018

Eeyore does Hanukkah? Night 6

The pink one

Note the Christmas cactus of Quaker provenance
RantWoman has meant to post something every night of Hanukkah. That has not happened.

RantWoman always remembers a player from Scrabble club who was Jewish. She died fairly young of cancer. She worked at a Christmas gifts store and kept working there until the end because she needed health insurance. She definitely had mixed feelings.

Tonight if RantWoman were more focused she would go find the radio story about the Jewish Santa. Or the short stories about Hanukkah and children who are different in the Christmas jumble.

Instead, RantWoman is going to grab the theme of being different for herself. See RantMom is a little bit magic-challenged. If it were up to RantMom, no one would have told the RantChildren about either Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.  RantWoman as oldest child definitely has some bewildered memories of people asking her about “Santy Claus.” At some point by the time the other Rant siblings appeared, RantMom relented and went with the cultural flow.  RantWoman is probably not even going to try to confirm her memories with RantMom because RantMom would probably deny them anyway.

 RantWoman is not even sure about the tooth fairy though baby teeth fall out around school age. RantWoman still thinks Little Sister knew more about such magic than RantWoman but has NO idea how  that occurred..  In the Rant household in the middle of last century, RantWoman thinks the going rate for lost teeth was maybe 25 cents. RantWoman definitely remembers some school friends whose household tooth fairies delivered up to $5, In other words, in tooth fairy land, you get the parents you get and inspiration and magic are going to have to wait for another day.

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Hanukkah 5 The Maccabeats - I Have a Little Dreidel - Hanukkah

Nothing like the dreidel song with materials science and several different music formats. Bluegrass. Techno. rap?

Monday, December 3, 2018

Hanukkah 2

A decidedly unmiraculous and unheroic way to observe Hanukkah. We are richer for diversity. 

Text of the image:
Unpacked our Nativity Scene yesterday. Removed all the Jews, Arabs, and foreigners. Ended up with a jackass and a handful of sheep.