One highlight of the time spent seasoning this year's minute on welcoming all genders was that almost every occasion where people were asked to introduce themselves, including rising to speak in Business sessions, they were asked to offer their pronoun preferences! Yep, as one young friend put it, a thrill to see elders saying their pronouns!
But how was it for RantWoman?
RantWoman esteems a single standard of Truth. RantWoman was charmed recently in a non-Quaker context: RantWoman was part of a selection process to send people to an activism conference where people also are asked to offer their pronouns. Two of the three women picked reported on their return how exhilarating (RantWoman's word) it was even to think about pronouns.
But back to Annual Session, for anyone still lingering with summer in spite of the need to embrace the vivid colors and shifting Light of fall.
RantWoman in a social media post about this year's NPYM Annual session used the phrase "A glorious fit about pronouns" and the Friend acknowledging God's call to cope. RantWoman paraphrases. RantWoman also understates. In fact, lest the friend above feel singled out, RantWoman heard and appreciated several glorious fits about pronouns.
There is something to be said for recognizing oneself as a holy child of God no matter how much crap is coming at one. RantWoman understates the vehemence of this fit: it came with the thought that it can be really damaging to have one's identity tied up in others' reactions!
"Just call me whatever," a pronoun preference ffavored by middle-aged lesbians who probably have been called whatever for a long time.
RantWoman goes among people with gender-ambiguous names such as Lee, Brett, Sasha, Jo(e) and we will not even speak of people striving to have their names and grasp of pronoun concepts reflected correctly in a language very different from the ones they grew up with.
RantWoman was very glad not to be the only Friend having fits about how Anglocentric the pronoun discussion is. RantWoman is also a smartass. RantWoman recently made a new version of her customary Un-nametag with "Please Tell Me Your Name on one side and RantWoman's name on the other. On the side with her name, RantWoman put her pronouns (nominative case) in the three languages she has officially studied.
RantWoman lives among the heady activist scene in Seattle gets asked fairly often to offer pronoun preference. Almost always there are both people who favor a number of different pronouns and people who have never thought about the issue.
RantWoman sometimes gets all pedantic about the singular they as a gender-neutral option. RantWoman also had a conversation this week with Amazing Artist Friend whose pronoun preference is we, with a huge side of self-acceptance. RantWoman keeps forgetting about the we and it always takes a few times in conversation before RantWoman settles down with it.
At lunch one day at Annual Session, RantWoman dined with someone who reported on a training from work about transgender issues. Lunch conversationalist commented about the presenter talking about all the energy they spend hiding their identity that could be better put to use meeting the company's goals.
Random further meditations:
One Friend at first could not go forward. This Friend spoke of the Friend's Meeting having a lot on it's plate, a point RantWoman sees, and of not being "ready." This Friend had a comment about "pridefulness" from the Meeting that has worked most on this minute. RantWoman was glad the whole room did not pull at some possible threads. RantWoman thinks the minute is imperfect, highly anglo-centric, and a snapshot in time. All those wonderful youth who have space to talk about every nuance of gender identity also owe a HUGE debt to brave forebears.
One person mentioned as a doctor early in their career not taking seriously a prescription to maintain needed hormones. Others spoke of the high risk of suicide among transgender youth. One Friend spoke of his family with his two mothers travelling throughout the Yearly Meeting sharing their family with Friends unsure about same-gender relationships. Another person spoke of living not on the I-5 corridor and both how important the minute is and thinking about what talking about it will mean in her community.
By the next day, the Friend who objected was ready to go forward by Standing Aside. RantWoman was called to thank Standing Aside Friend for speaking his Truth and, to RantWoman's ear, helping draw out various important strands of Light and experience.
Dear Young Friends
We cannot promise that you will not get misgendered all the time. We cannot promise that on your first visit you will not meet the person who grumps about gender identity issues around children and never comes to Annual Session, but our minute is a hand of welcome.
What might we as Friends be called to do next? The next day editing minutes the answer became clearer: ask Peace and Social Concerns to carry work forward.
There assuredly is work ahead and people in different parts of the Yearly Meeting will probably be lead to realize our intentions in different ways.
After the minute was approved there was worship. RantWoman had been seasoning a call to minister and stood. Finally the call became so clear that RantWoman located the mic runner across the room and fogged over to get the mic. Part of RantWoman's message was about a transgender job candidate with a wonderful sense of humor and about misgendering the job candidate twice in the conversation.
Just to keep RantWoman from taking herself TOO seriously, RantWoman remembers being high after the message, the kind of high that sometimes happens even though RantWoman is also frequently called to speak with more pedestrian effect RantWoman was thinking with gratitude about the words lining up. RantWoman was gratified when appropriate laughter occurred. RantWoman needed a few moments to get her feet back on the ground at an interest group, ironically about offering vocal ministry. But RantWoman asked two different people whether any of her words stuck with them. Um, no. They were too busy praying for the whole room. Okayyy, RantWoman will just COPE!
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