Monday, February 25, 2019

Do the rhinos get a vote?

One of the venues where RantWoman regularly worships--and offers ministry--is the Association of Bad Friends on Facebook



RantWoman posted the following item and is deeply touched that 60 people and counting like the rhinos, RantWoman's snarky intro, and other words of wisdom in the comments


From Facebook

This belongs here (in the Association of Bad Friends group) because:
It is such a profound appreciation both of God's creation and ..


Plus I am rolling on the floor laughing even if no one has given them Quaker hats









Comments included references to glandular issues, kale and starch, and whether Biblical unicorns might be rhinos.




In the category of things to raise one's spirits in times of ecological catastrophe, RantWoman celebrates the presence of two rhinos in the same picture!




Speaking of herds of rhinos, Meditations on worship after reading some minutes.


 


If reading all the ramble below seems like too much, please consider just starting by saying Hi next time you see RantWoman. And please bear with it if RantWoman just seems startled. That happens.


 


RantWoman’s basic welcoming query and invitation to read further: is there something you wish RantWoman would immediately pay attention to in addition or instead of the ramble below? What rises for you from the reading?


 


A note on the word “exhaustion:” RantWoman takes that word seriously. RantWoman is also exhausted and frustrated. RantWoman is vexed by one strand of exhaustion coming from Friends complaining of exhaustion. Thee Friends complain of exhaustion, keep doing things RantWoman thinks must be exhausting, and do not seem able to hear RantWoman’s testimony about many things that make a great deal of difference, RantWoman hopes are much less exhausting than current practices. Please hold this in the Light as we return to the rest of the Rhino safari.


 


 


RantWoman spent college with a gender ratio of 2-1 at the same university and in overlapping time period with Michelle Obama who writes of the same issue:  trying to be heard among male classmates. So RantWoman does pushy conversation style really well. Sometimes RantWoman gets it that she needs to shut up and listen. Sometimes.


 


Be warned, also  RantWoman was a literature major AND  RantWoman can make almost any text an exercise in free association, idiosyncratic metaphors, and hard-to-fathom logical links. RantWoman KNOWS this. Humbly RantWoman has needed to be told more than once in coming to know.  Sometimes God and RantWoman do not manage to shepherd this overpacked spiritual itinerary into bites suitable for Meeting for worship. Sometimes this is because the message needs to be tested, seasoned and may evolve in streams of worship over time.


 


Sometimes this is because the content of RantWoman’s head really needs to be something longer like an article or a blog post. Rantwoman is working on discernment about this. Sometimes RantWoman really appreciates it when people trust their Light enough to say something, anything that might help the discernment.


 


Quaker worship, to RantWoman is OPPORTUNITY, opportunity to wade into spiritual waters, to bathe with others in the power and mystery of God. And yes, RantWoman means God even though form, gender, physicality of presence are all left unspoken—for MANY reasons.


 


Speaking of opportunity, RantWoman is REALLY sorry some of you say you are leaving because of RantWoman’s messages. RantWoman is further pained because unless you say hi to RantWoman regularly, agree to serve on a committee, or participate in a Meeting activity with RantWoman,  at best you are just another fuzzy blob RantWoman is busy trying not to plow into. Much as RantWoman wants to welcome your presence into the long history of this meeting and RantWoman’s deep caring for the community, if you cannot take a chance and use your words, RantWoman is not going to know one way or another whether you are worshipping with us or not. How can RantWoman miss you if she does not know you have been there?


 


In fact, Friends have you considered whether the Holy Spirit might be trying to tap you on the shoulder with a call to ministry? Have you considered the possibility that more of the community needs to hear your message than if you wait around for Worship and Ministry? See, some of the time messages that come crashing through to RantWoman are things like “be true to your Light and the right people will catch up” or “Some people are wearing too many hats. Are there new heads who might be drawn to putting on some of the “extra” hats.


 


While some among Friends clutch their pearls, (mainly metaphorical pearls: these ARE Quakers ) about messages that respond to other messages, RantWoman’s experience often enough is that light from messages is cumulative.  RantWoman says all the time all over her blog that she is almost always thrilled when a new voice offers vocal ministry. RantWoman maintains and is herself on a mental list of frequent flyers, Friends whose messages RantWoman wishes might make it out of others’ mouths, and new messages new voices would be even more wonderful.


 


RantWoman also reads the phrase “beyond her Light.” Beyond RantWoman’s Light? Beyond the listener’s Light? Meant for someone else and other Friends are simply to uphold? RantWoman fairly often receives exactly contradictory feedback about the same message. RantWoman quaintly expects that Friends with concerns about RantWoman’s messages can at least articulate some point RantWoman needs to hold tenderly. Sometimes RantWoman manages simply to hold in the Light the fact of the disquiet. Sometimes.*see note below about RantWoman’s experience of Holding in the Light.


 


RantWoman has also heard feedback of the form “I am afraid to say something because…” The particular because implied RantWoman might say or do something “unsafe” with what is spoken. RantWoman is sitting with that problem. RantWoman is also sitting with many moments when her head is about to explode, about to explode for any number of reasons. In such moments, RantWoman may be attentively listening for a fresh point of view to help with the head about to explode issue. Or RantWoman may be so busy trying to keep her head from exploding that she will seem to be listening poorly. Or RantWoman may be mentally testing previous experience about who among Friends can be helpful in the presence of Head about to Explode problems.


 


 


 


Reflections on Holding in the Light from PNQM fal l 2018.


But what does “holding someone in the Light” really mean?  The “inner Light” is one term for that of the divine in each person, but framing God as “light” and evil or despair as “darkness” has ugly connotations.  At Pacific Northwest Quarterly Meeting in fall of 2018, Ellany Kayce encouraged us to move away from metaphors that pit “light” against “dark,” since this has broader connotations about people with lighter skin being good and darker skin being evil.  This zine opens a space to think about other ways to describe divine love and clarity and the ways we care for each other.


The full Zine, in text form.


 


Example which most closely reflects what RantWoman remembers saying in response to the query above.


[Image description: a WOW emoji.]
 


Light can be gentle and healing, or it can be fierce, like lightning. Sometimes you’re sunbathing and sometimes you get burned.  It’s kind of like the WOW emoji on facebook - you can’t always tell what kind of clarity you’re going to b get.


 



 

Really Really Bad Friends


Friends who JUST want to hear about the life of Quakers in Wales today are invited to visit this item which appeared in RantWoman’s morning Twitter feed.

 


 

Warning the site appears to have many of the GOOD accessibility features common in sites from Great Britain. Thank you RNIB. However, all the ad goop, popups, GDPR Opt in button, and possibly some technical difficulties on RantWoman’s Windows machine of the day are a serious impediment to appreciation of the Quaker content. RantWoman will try on her phone later.

 

Interesting phrases extracted in spite of technical difficulties

 

Movements of God or the Holy Spirit

 

Promptings of Love and Spirit in one’s heart

 

Welcome to Planet RantWoman. This concludes this morning’s Blindness Tourism excursion.

 

Oops, no. Another ad interrupts:  RantWoman attended 9:30 worship. RantWoman is ALWAYS glad to see Service Python Friend, the person who first suggested that RantWoman might find a Service Python helpful.  RantWoman also expects that other worshippers are grateful to have been spared vocal ministry about that Barclay dude, the peculiar communion of shared experiences such has hand the blind person cash unsolicited and Grab the Blind Person and Bless Them. In any case, RantWoman was well-led to be there.

 

 

Good Morning World.

 

RantWoman achieved almost SEVEN hours of sleep last night. Now if the wheels of cyclical housing funders inspection would grind so that RantWoman can mop a floor that REALLY needs to be mopped AND put her mop out on the balcony to dry without fear it will get carried away to make things look pristine according to inspectors’ standards.

 

Anyway, sleep is good. RantWoman in underslept zombie mode was reflecting on the day’s events and meditating about Life the Universe and Everything found herself wondering whether the Association of Bad Friends at over 3000 members,  more than most if not all North American Yearly Meetings, and a bold experiment in non-geography-specific  membership, is ripe for schisms. RantWoman further found herself considering a number of congregation names and ministries that might be more appropriately situated in the Association of Really Really Bad friends.

 

Endless Ableism Forever and Ever Amen regional Gathering. (self-explanatory?)

 

Batshit Fanatics and WackJobs of All Stripes Arbitrary Intervals Meeting (dedicated, among other things, to an abortion thread in RantWoman’s Twitter feed.) and funded by judicious marketing of composted batshit.

 

The Still Didn’t Get the Memo Committee on Email Immoderation will be seeking to form a clearness committee in order to request status as a full-blown ministry.

 

And Nominating Committee has approached RantWoman with a most unusual request: would RantWoman be willing to serve as official Meeting Bogeyman.

 

The answer should of course be somewhere between NO and OH HELL NO.

 

But this is Planet RantWoman and the Association of Really Really Bad Friends! As long as complaints are about of RantWoman “dominating conversations,” sowing “divisiveness,” not appreciating all that … have done for her…., what if we just acknowledge that there should certainly be room in the Association of Really Really Bad Friends for a megalomaniac willing seriously to consider a quest for World Domination?

 

Lead rantWoman not into Temptation.

 

Well, actually, now that Rantwoman has everyone’s attention and peculiarly celebrates an uptick in Business Meeting attendance…

 

Stay tuned for

 

Business Meeting secondhand

 

More and Better Business Meetings of the Future: Dodging Dystopia

 

Look Friend, appreciation is EXACTLY why RantWoman does not leave.

 

Wearing Too Many Hats: Recognizing / naming / growing the number of heads available to wear hats.

 

A giant thank you to the Friend who shoveled sidewalks and also cited concern for the “unhoused” (current term of art) who sleep with us every night.

 

Meditations upon passion, ecology, disaster resilience, discernment, transportation.

 

Some What has RantWoman learned content of a Deal with it NOW nature that may or may not make it past email to the blog.

 

 

In Light and Faithfulness

 

RantWoman

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Appreciations via the bulletin


RantWoman is led to reflect on moments when she feels listened to and well-woven into as wella s deeply grateful for the  work of her Meeting. Three items from this week’s weekly bulletin come to mind.

 

Discernment and Transportation


There is an item about the Neighborhood Street Fund, a city program that encourages neighbors to propose and then help prioritize transportation projects. The Fund has a 3-year cycle and there is a link interested readers can visit, public events people can attend, and more background. RantWoman wrote a different announcement and is glad someone expanded some pieces, even though the result is typographically uneven. RantWoman is also vexed because this announcement references ongoing evolution of transportation around Meeting, part of the environment where the community has some discernment tasks to be working carefully if slowly at. RantWoman humbly notes the community-building aspects of going through such changes together. RantWoman has further thoughts which deserve their own posts, but she is very glad someone else is also being faithful to Light about the importance of paying attention to transportation projects in our neighborhood.

 

 

Ministry presented at Adult Religious Education


Feb 24 University Friends Meeting has recognized (a member of Meeting’s) ministry in Kenya to improve the lives of Quakers and other Kenyans through preventive health education.

Friend N will share information about the work so far, her goals for the future, and her leading

to follow this ministry.

  1. RantWoman recalls being a bit of a pest when Friend N started talking of the connections and leadings she was seasoning. Friend N at first thought not to request any specific designation. RantWoman probably was not the only one being fairly insistent about the importance of asking for Meeting’s support. RantWoman wishes Friend N blessings on her journey and is very glad to help send along Meeting’s support
     
  2. RantWoman notes with appreciation Friends’ efforts over a number of years to have a clear process for supporting ministries. RantWoman was called very clearly to be true to her Light about seasoning a previous ministry. RantWoman is happy to elaborate but for the time being will simply recall a moment from the Business meeting that approved the ministry. RantWoman was very clear that she was going to be called to speak. RantWoman heard pieces that she considered important even though she realized that probably few others in the room recognized their significance. When she rose to speak of the ministry, RantWoman was surprised about how clearly concern for future work and future ministers came out of her mouth. RantWoman is also humbled by the absence in her message of some angry thoughts which somehow had subsided.

 

Putting our Library catalogue online:


Mid-project notice: Online library catalogue project. We are 1/3 of the way to putting our book collection online! We urgently still need volunteers – multiple work party sessions have been scheduled – Feb 24, and Mar 2 so far. Please consider signing up here: (link omitted) You’ll be oriented by a Library Committee member at the start of the session. IMPORTANT: please bring your own laptop for scheduled session or coordinate library computer access ahead of time. Please contact (names omitted.) Sneak peek at our collection available at (link)

  1. RantWoman has no idea whether some thoughts in an email about the uniqueness of some parts of our collection and other thoughts about the internet are part of the impetus for Friends to take up this project but RantWoman is VERY glad it is occurring.
  2. Typing and interacting with a lot of print, basically anything but the large print Bible now safely catalogued is kind of a challenge zone for RantWoman. That personal ache in now way diminishes RantWoman’s appreciation of the importance of the project.

More appreciations due; not tonight.

Monday, February 18, 2019

Nice Horse - Mansplainin (Official Video)

RantWoman is working her way through something called the Whole Life Challenge. RantWoman means to blog her experience in more detail but this week's well-being practice has to do with music. Pick a song. Okay in RantWoman's case the musical number for today is either going to be the kicky item below or some Bach cello suites.




Further meditation: If a man says it, is it automatically mansplaining?

Still further meditation, if RantWoman writes in an email something about "I am not clear what to want," and a man writes back in response to that very email, "you want...?" is that mansplaining.

Holy Snow and Squash Lentil Soup


RantWoman is trying to collect herself after almost two weeks of #Snowpocalypse2019 #seattleSnow #SnowMageddon. RantWoman is also feeling gratefully lighthearted after  weekend of worship, sewing, listening at the Mini-midwinter FLGBTQC gathering. So RantWoman should be a joy and a delight to read, right?

 

Uhhh, this is RantWoman.

 

RantWoman did take away:

     Transitions of many kinds

      The words Radical Queer Person of Faith, to which RantWoman might add for herself transportation nerd.
      JOY in meeting new people, some who travelled hours to attend!



Full Narrative


For starters, RantWoman IS very grateful that her building never lost power. RantWoman’s neighbors were in many cases extremely grateful not even to try to go anywhere and rantWoman is grateful some are back to regular caregiver schedule. Cancelling one meeting led here to a different meeting where she learned that some deaf neighbors have seen the Mayor’s video with sign language interpreting. Other cancellations made it VERY easy to schedule a needed conference call…

 

RantWoman came to Meeting via a bus route abutting a Parks and Recreation facility. RantWoman is glad not to need the wheelchair ramp at the corner because today it STILL had compacted grungy snow-ice covering up half the yellow domes. But the facility IS open and in this case, staff could… RantWOman does respectfully dissent from a sentiment in some of her social media streams that there should be flocks of governmental bus stop and curb ramp clearing fairies afoot in the treacherous surfaces and storm-tossed muck. Government fairies should clear government property; the rest of the publc should help maintain. Public Right of Way

Snapping


It occurred to RantWoman that maybe she needs to apologize to all and sundry for snapping at several people in email last week about shoveling snow around Meeting. Background:

 


 

Ummm, RantWoman is actually going to apologize for NOT jumping up and down harder on the second of her points here: Shoveling the sidewalk is the law. Seattleites are not used to thinking about this because it snows so rarely in substantial quantities, but as in many other places RantWoman has lived, shoveling sidewalks is the law. By the time this post is being penned, this point is all over media, social media, and hopefully also all over people’s awareness.

 

RantWoman apologizes: she also forgot to mention that our Meeting charges a  homeless services agency market rate rent (a point RantWoman concurs with) so that 50 people can sleep in our basement every night. Besides shoveling sidewalks being the law, shoveling sidewalks is good stewardship. If anyone falls and breaks their face, they might sue and insurance rates would go up and…

 

RantWoman ardently wishes it were within her light to manage BOTH polite and insufferable about these points. Insufferable is the best RantWoman can do. So it has to be okay that RantWoman feels only the barest and most grudging minimum acknowledgment of her concern. By yesterday the snow had either melted, gotten shoveled, or gotten washed away.

God’s fondue pot?


RantWoman deeply appreciates both a lively discussion in the Facebook Quakers group and the following item about the language and imagery Friends use for intercessory prayer.


 

 Holding you in God's Chocolate


 

Truly, RantWoman appreciates the question of what we mean. Being stuck in God’s fondue pot all covered with sparklies or trying not to sneeze in the glitter isn’t QUITE what comes to mind for RantWoman. Maybe the reaction is just the RantWoman Message Manglement Service at work. Maybe RantWoman just gets to appreciate hearing where others are about the subject. Maybe RantWoman gets to invoke the transporter from the first generation of Star Trek. Definitely energy flow.

Wing Wing Wing with a banana and a sharpie.


RantWoman humbly thanks everyone who did ballet, performed highly visual animal imitations and sang for a Saturday Night talent show.

 

As for Sunday morning and props not available on Saturday night, RantWoman does not want to squelch anyone’s willingness to stand up and be publicly vulnerable while performing. But RantWoman considers highly visual humor that to RantWoman’s ear makes fun of some peoples’ speech patterns suboptimal on several grounds.

 

Now what?

 

Soup recipe


Just to complete a snapshot of the weekend, a flavor snapshot from Saturday night supper, Squash Lentil Soup.

 

Squash-Lentil Soup for Mini-Midwinter


 

 

Whines about Google docs and remembering the accessability tricks available upon request. RantWoman has been able to read the documents. RantWoman still needs to whine.  RantWoman will whine separately along with a Google docs vs email electronic bakeoff.

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Signs via a VERY wise Quaker


RantWoman is a firm believer in signs and providence. Sometimes something RantWoman needs appears at exactly the moment it is needed. RantWoman is seldom content to phrase this experience as mere coincidence. Instead, RantWoman chooses to interpret such moments as evidence there is a wise loving patient merciful… Divine presence helping look out for her. Such is the case with the following Twitter moment.
 
Why RantWoman will not promise not to forward email without an author’s permission:
https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/921150716730777600/8MOe756R_bigger.jpghttps://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/921150716730777600/8MOe756R_bigger.jpg
 
peggy s morrison (@PeggySenger) tweeted at 9:28 PM on Mon, Feb 11, 2019:
This exact thing. https://t.co/BueP1rHLua
 
 
And for those not lead to click the link for “this exact thing,”
More
If your church tells you not to go to the authorities or seek outside counsel about something, that is absolutely 100% the time to seek some goddamn outside counsel and legal support.
 
 
And furthermore:
More
And if you are more upset that I just said “goddamn” in a tweet about spiritual abuse than the abuse itself, chances are that you are part of the problem and are further perpetuating this toxic cycle.
 
 
There is more to be read.
 
RantWoman is also attempting to digest a number of different considerations about email, and um, er blog posts. But every time someone silences RantWoman or attempts to put words in her mouth, some formulation like the above oozes melodramatically into RantWoman’s head.
 
Please hold this whole tangle in the light.
 
Sincerely,
 
https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/921150716730777600/8MOe756R_bigger.jpghttps://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/921150716730777600/8MOe756R_bigger.jpgRantWoman
 

Monday, February 11, 2019

Miraculous and Disquieting: who can sleep through that?


RantWoman is going to write the spoiler for a book. Only to avoid the spoiler effect, RantWoman realized she cannot specify which item from her bedtime reading is decidedly disquieting this week. Hint: the author consistently makes RantWoman laugh.

 

But the point is, there was your average scary domestic violence incident. A wife / mother got shot. She should have died from being shot point-blank, but all the bullets that hit her exited without doing major damage. She required some stitches but was out of the hospital in four days. The gun-wielding husband / stepdad piled his four-year-old son into his car and …dropped the child off at a friend’s / relative’s. Then he said a bunch of goodbyes until he reached a relative who persuaded him to hand over the gun. After the gunman handed over the gun he…disappeared. Eventually there was a court proceeding but since no one died and this was the first incident there was any police record for, the resulting sentence was really light.

 

This is all quite miraculous.

 

Except,

 

It is still darned disquieting to be trying to fall asleep and have this blast into one’s consciousness.

 

So much for last night’s attempt at sleep hygiene.

 

RantWoman achieved about 5 hours of sleep partly due to the circumstances of her bedtime reading. 5 hours is less than RantWoman’s goal, but more than sometimes.

Friday, February 8, 2019

Why?


RantWoman has been attempting to digest data and secondhand comments.

 

One puzzling comment has come to RantWoman as follows: “If she hates this place so much, why does she stick around?”

 

RantWoman’s first thought: “Why do you think willingness to hang in through hurt and difficulty means RantWoman hates this place? Working through difficulty is an act of love, of appreciation for long growth and care!”

Now what?

In Light and faithfulness

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

Hands


RantWoman’s Google calendar recently reminded her of the birthday of Retired Church Musician Friend. Retired Church Musician Friend earned his nom de blog from his previous profession, including both a Challenging Personality and a life path that had previously crossed that of the RantFamily. Retired Church Musician Friend found Quakers late in life, at somewhere around age 75. He found Quakers in that enthusiasm of I will sign up to do anything whether it is reasonable or not.  Subsequently, Retired Church Musician Friend also earned big points at his memorial for saying Hi faithfully to other younger Friends who arrived at the same time he did.

 

At the time of his signing up, there were only two people on Facilities committee plus him. RantWoman looked at the combination of names on the roster and thought “this could be interesting.” RantWoman had been thinking of offering service on Facilities committee but realized that she had extensive interactions with Retired Church Musician Friend in another part of life and that RantWoman should not overdo…  Without elaborating on adventures and misadventures, RantWoman definitely thinks care of our campus can be a joy for younger hands.

 

RantWoman has a similar twitch about anyone who thinks they are called to clerk THREE committees. Who else might be out there? RantWoman will be glad any time to offer lessons in saying “I am wearing too many hats. Some of my hats need to find new heads.”

 

RantWoman has been thinking about these two concerns alongside the information that Business Meeting last month drew more people than average. Many were in great pain and felt much freer to speak without RantWoman. Okayyy. Others just were unfamiliar with circumstances.

 

The first thing RantWoman wants to say is THANK YOU for showing up! THANK YOU for caring! RantWoman is deeply sorry for everyone’s pain. RantWoman hears lots of repetitive  issues which she is sitting with carefully. RantWoman wants to help make things better and RantWoman is not doing well about secondhand vagueness. While her heart is full and full of attention to the voice of RantWoman (Uggh) RantWoman is not clear even where to start about communication.  

 

RantWoman IS clear about one thread that keeps coming up: “We need time to heal (implying a break from RantWoman)” Look Friends, RantWoman does not get a break from disability. We all need time to learn and grieve, and we need to keep trying together.

 

RantWoman deeply loves this Meeting but RantWoman is no one’s fairy godmother. Meeting has not had any “God has no hands but ours” messages in awhile. RantWoman will try to work on that one, but RantWoman’s hands by themselves are nowhere near enough. Or there is always another call to be the official meeting bogeyman, and to do so with gusto. What reaching can help all around?

 

In Light and Faithfulness

 

RantWoman

Saturday, February 2, 2019

Ministry Seasoned with Pizza?


Warning: this post is tangled. RantWoman is completely sober and the post is still tangled. Perhaps RantWoman and everyone mentioned just need to be held in the Light.

 

 

New Material at the bottom of the weekly bulletin with our material about sex offenders.


 

(RantWoman is omitting the material specifically about sex offenders. RantWoman deeply appreciates the person willing to be a phone contact for people with personal concerns but would slightly prefer that a person willing to be a phone contact list professional credentials. [RantWoman has a very able mental health professional whom she sees as often as she can afford; RantWoman is not clear that phoning the Meeting contact person will be helpful for what is on her mind about Meeting] Here though, what is on RantWoman’s mind, RantWoman thinks may cause enough consternation just by reporting data about following the instructions in the invitation below.)

 


Invitation?


“University Friends Meeting is also a place where individual behavior may not always live up to the ideals of community and peace that are at the heart of Quaker life. You may experience individuals whose comments, ministry or other communication appears aggressive, harsh, or rambling.

[ Excerpt from a Care and Counsel committee member email awhile ago comes to mind: “Please take good and gentle care of yourself. This is going to be painful and I do not even want to hear until after Business Meeting…”]  

Some in our community may misuse Quaker process, speaking their minds without the full light of the Spirit.

[Does anyone on Care and Counsel maybe MAYBE have challenges in this regard TOO?]

We are committed to engaging with these Friends from a place of love and spiritual discernment.

[If there were no love involved, RantWoman should have run away screaming a LONG time ago. PS How about matters of lawand administrative practicality on Planet Capitalism, single standard of Truth for Friends where awareness of the ADA and or really welcoming diversity and inclusion statements are part of their work lives and Meeting is a glorious learning opportunity?]

We are also resolved to hold these Friends accountable for their words and actions in the interest of protecting the integrity and spirit of our meeting. If you experience or witness harassment, either in person or online, please notify Care and Counsel Committee. [Who does RantWoman contact if the word silencing leaps out from…; can we maybe possibly just think “Opportunity to Grow. Oh Goody! Opportunity to Grow?”]

 

“If you have questions or concerns about how University Friends Meeting creates a safe and welcoming environment, please feel free to speak with the individual closing meeting for worship. […University Friends Meeting creates… How about movements of the Holy Spirit? Any room for that?] You may also bring questions or concerns to a member of the Care and Counsel or Worship and Ministry Committees. The co-clerks are …(Friend who usually embodies other nicer noms de blog than the email above and Friend whose Nom de blog RantWoman is trying NOT to reconsider.”

 

 

RantWoman offers the following data.

Vocal Ministry from Couples Counseling Friend


Recently Couples Counseling Friend offered vocal ministry. Couples Counseling Friend frequently does drama presentation well. This was true this time too but parts of her ministry just creeped RantWoman out.

 

Couples Counseling Friend, a member of Care and Counsel, acquired her nom de blog because she is attached in RantWoman’s mind with terminological landmines related to a conflict resolution effort already freighted with  vexed elements.  RantWoman one of these days will just write a Giant I FORGIVE you characterizing a number of circumstances, but that is neither here nor there for the ministry (ministries?) discussed here.

 

 

The ministry as RantWoman heard it, after children had entered worship.


First a bit about Benjamin Lay and whether he was difficult on purpose. RantWoman has no basis for knowing but would consider the possibility that Benjamin Lay lived in a cave because that was what he could afford. RantWoman also imagines, since Benjamin Lay was a person of short stature, that his cave might not have been large enough for people of normal height to stand up in but that it probably was a much-needed refuge from the ableism of people around him. Well RantWoman imagines.

 

The next part of the message mentioned Couples Counseling Friend’s former professional work with many children who have been sexually abused. The first part of the message was about something wonderful coming with something terrible.  RantWoman is not unfamiliar with the concept of unexpected blessing.  Something though about the delivery together with Couples Counseling Friend’s refusal to respond by email to a simple email inquiry “Do you remember what you said?” Do you remember what you intended?” somehow gave that part of the ministry a creepy edge.

 

Pizza?


 

Couples Counseling Friend, as RantWoman heard it, next talked about asking her young clients what they wanted on a pizza so they could forget the bad things forever.

 

Huh??? What kind of treatment modality is that? How does that work neurologically? Does the pizza also whack things one wants to hold or only bad stuff? It’s not one RantWoman remembers from her stint as a behavioral health bean counter. How does that work? Is God just showing off some weird sense of humor showing up with this message?

 

More to the point, eat a lot of pizza (or whatever) and just try to forget… pretty well encapsulates the emotional atmosphere a good bit of the time in the RantFamily household. That eat and forget and never mind emotional nuances or skills atmosphere also contributed  to between 0 and 2 threads of sexual assault per kid among the 3 RantChildren. RantWoman is the 0 which still leaves plenty of work for a mental health professional and plenty to keep washing away in the well of good spiritual practice. . Pizza and /or the possibility that no one has figured out the kid is violently allergic to pizza, is its own digression. Expectations about forgetting are, on Planet RantWoman completely unrealistic and also a little beside the point: If expectations of forgetting are to be part of the therapy, should one just run screaming from the room, even if it has been a lot of trouble to get into the room in the first place? If one is not going to forget, understandings and healing “I see you” conversations can evolve over time.

 

That is where RantWoman has gotten to while seasoning her creeped out reaction. By seasoning, RantWoman means a group email including Couples Counseling Friend and others who were present or not. Besides the inquiry above to Couples Counseling Friend, RantWoman also asked others what if any elements they remembered. RantWoman did not have high expectations, but now simply notes data collected.

 

Couples Counseling Friend repeated a frequent request of RantWoman, basically not to email her except regarding matters related to Couples Counseling Friend also being Recording Clerk.

 

Helpful? Uhh, today the Benjamin Lay reference has sent RantWoman’s recollections of many matters to do with disability and Minutes so guess what, RantWoman in her role as serial recording clerk to many Quaker bodies invited Couples Counseling Friend back into the picture. [RantWoman also notes at least two batches of minutes where Couples Counseling Friend either ignored RantWoman’s words entirely or seemed quite at sea with what RantWoman was trying to present. In the second case others were at sea and conversations continue.]

 

Friend Whose Nom De Blog RantWoman is trying not to Reconsider generously told the entire recipient list they do not need to respond to RantWoman’s honest questions. RantWoman’s excessively plain English to Quakerese language filter may yet melt over this Friend’s presumption to know more about the intent of RantWoman’s choice of recipients than RantWoman does. People are adults. They can take responsibility for managing their email. This Friend also offered an opinion about inquiries as to the meaning of Vocal ministry that RantWoman is having trouble squaring with the invitation listed in the bulletin.

 

RantWoman then wrote back that often for her inquiries as to something about her ministry are often very welcome and deepening; Madame Clerk also wrote back even more movingly than RantWoman AND expressed unspecified disquiet with the previous Friend’s response. Another Friend wrote back also noting disquiet and expressing various strands of blessing.

 


Back in Worship


RantWoman returns to the Meeting for Worship in question.

 

RantWoman offered the ministry summarized here.


 

 

Than another Friend offered the ministry from Corinthians about “love is kind, patient…”  And Meeting closed AND RantWoman needed to ask in person to be held in the Light.

 

Sure. Now what?

 

In Light and Faithfulness

 

RantWoman