"Baby born. Doing fine." Oh Wait, the anniversary of the first test of a nuclear bomb.
No. Not the dawn of the nuclear age. A birthday RantWoman remembers because it is close to her own and a celebration of the wonderful opportunity to read memorial minutes online with the tools RantWoman needs instead of in tiny and sometimes faint print on a wall or in a notebook at annual session. Put a pin in that point when RantWoman gets to other points below. Put a pin also in points where people are actually DOING THINGS RIGHT so that when RantWoman points out a PROBLEM the world does not melt down. RantWoman is speaking to her own experience. Other people do not get a vote about RantWoman's experience, but if asked nicely, SOMETIMES RantWoman will titrate how much experience she generously shares with others.
(RantWoman followed the last few weeks of Ann's life on CaringBridge. At a certain point, although the medical details were different from RantMom's departure to other realms, RantWoman noticed that things were not headed in a good direction and just held in the Light.)
With that, the actual minute.
Ann Stever memorial minute draft.docx - Google Docs
No. RantWoman. No. Remember what happened last time you went to a giant memorial for a very weighty Friend?
RantWoman and the RSOF: Agnes Schmoe
Okay for comparison:
People noticed RantWoman arrived with white cane and offered her seating close to the entrance because the room was already packed.
Check and check, with the added detail of someone handy to put out more chairs.
Sound quality and audio issues.
For Friend Ann's memorial, RantWoman made it through the whole event without standing up and yelling a request for everyone to use the mic.
Is RantWoman reformed about need to correct people about this? Not exactly. People offering ministry had a microphone. People offering ministry in the room still did not manage to be as audible as the voices from Zoom fed into the PA system. But now there are Zoom captions. One can log into the Zoom meeting, disconnect audio in order not to generate feedback, and let captions fill one's whole phone screen, which if RantWoman holds the phone close enough to her face can be read. The captions are still Zoom captions, but Zoom actually picks things up even if voices do not come through well. Mostly also, there was just so much love in the room that RantWoman decided getting every single word did not matter.
RantWoman mostly has words of things that stuck in her mind from the time of Ann's passing and Ann's memorial
Two musical offerings stick in RantWoman's mind. Early in the memorial.
John Denver - Annie's Song (from The Wildlife Concert)
Annie's Song - Lifein3D (John Denver cover)
The song spoke so elegantly to how RantWoman has felt in early stages of grieving.
Most of the ministry fluttered through RantWoman's mind without sticking.
One moment made RantWoman smile: one of Ann's step son, RantWoman is not sure which, spoke of the time when pairings were getting rearranged, something like "I already have two moms. I am not sure about a third one." RantWoman also remembers Dorsey in the past sharing how much Ann enriched her stepsons' lives.
Many Friends spoke about Ann's attention to detail, focus in organizing, and a feeling that each person in a conversation is important.
There were also MANY messages about Ann's gift for nonverbal communications. Here is where RantWoman had a fabulous after the party emotional eruption. Oh COURSE. RantWoman is acutely aware both of the importance of nonverbal communications and the fact that, while probably never very good at nonverbal communications, after certain medical events, RantWoman was definitely a LOT worse about them.
Does anyone besides RantWoman see two problems:
One: the missed communications channel
Two: everyone's inability to see this might be a problem, a tendency to declare the problem off topic and ...
There. Eruption over, at least in Ann's direction.
It's fun to think of Ann's enthusiasm for sports.
Mention of Smith college has made RantWoman think more than fits into this meditation about women of different generations, what was / is expected of them, and what they expect(ed) of themselves.
And the other musical note that rings so true about Ann.
PS Deviled Eggs are a perfect item for a memorial reception and RantWoman blesses everyone who had a hand in the abundance.
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