Warning: this
post is tangled. RantWoman is completely sober and the post is still tangled.
Perhaps RantWoman and everyone mentioned just need to be held in the Light.
New Material at the bottom of the weekly bulletin with our material about sex offenders.
(RantWoman is
omitting the material specifically about sex offenders. RantWoman deeply
appreciates the person willing to be a phone contact for people with personal
concerns but would slightly prefer that a person willing to be a phone contact
list professional credentials. [RantWoman has a very able mental health
professional whom she sees as often as she can afford; RantWoman is not clear
that phoning the Meeting contact person will be helpful for what is on her mind
about Meeting] Here though, what is on RantWoman’s mind, RantWoman thinks may
cause enough consternation just by reporting data about following the
instructions in the invitation below.)
Invitation?
“University
Friends Meeting is also a place where individual behavior may not always live
up to the ideals of community and peace that are at the heart of Quaker life.
You may experience individuals whose comments, ministry or other communication
appears aggressive, harsh, or rambling.
[ Excerpt from
a Care and Counsel committee member email awhile ago comes to mind: “Please
take good and gentle care of yourself. This is going to be painful and I do not
even want to hear until after Business Meeting…”]
Some in our
community may misuse Quaker process, speaking their minds without the full
light of the Spirit.
[Does anyone
on Care and Counsel maybe MAYBE have challenges in this regard TOO?]
We are
committed to engaging with these Friends from a place of love and spiritual
discernment.
[If there were
no love involved, RantWoman should have run away screaming a LONG time ago. PS
How about matters of lawand administrative practicality on Planet Capitalism,
single standard of Truth for Friends where awareness of the ADA and or really
welcoming diversity and inclusion statements are part of their work lives and
Meeting is a glorious learning opportunity?]
We are also
resolved to hold these Friends accountable for their words and actions in the
interest of protecting the integrity and spirit of our meeting. If you
experience or witness harassment, either in person or online, please notify
Care and Counsel Committee. [Who does RantWoman contact if the word silencing
leaps out from…; can we maybe possibly just think “Opportunity to Grow. Oh
Goody! Opportunity to Grow?”]
“If you have
questions or concerns about how University Friends Meeting creates a safe and
welcoming environment, please feel free to speak with the individual closing
meeting for worship. […University Friends Meeting creates… How about movements
of the Holy Spirit? Any room for that?] You may also bring questions or
concerns to a member of the Care and Counsel or Worship and Ministry
Committees. The co-clerks are …(Friend who usually embodies other nicer noms de
blog than the email above and Friend whose Nom de blog RantWoman is trying NOT
to reconsider.”
RantWoman
offers the following data.
Vocal Ministry from Couples Counseling Friend
Recently
Couples Counseling Friend offered vocal ministry. Couples Counseling Friend
frequently does drama presentation well. This was true this time too but parts
of her ministry just creeped RantWoman out.
Couples
Counseling Friend, a member of Care and Counsel, acquired her nom de blog
because she is attached in RantWoman’s mind with terminological landmines
related to a conflict resolution effort already freighted with vexed elements. RantWoman one of these days will just write a
Giant I FORGIVE you characterizing a number of circumstances, but that is
neither here nor there for the ministry (ministries?) discussed here.
The ministry as RantWoman heard it, after children had entered worship.
First a bit
about Benjamin Lay and whether he was difficult on purpose. RantWoman has no
basis for knowing but would consider the possibility that Benjamin Lay lived in
a cave because that was what he could afford. RantWoman also imagines, since
Benjamin Lay was a person of short stature, that his cave might not have been
large enough for people of normal height to stand up in but that it probably
was a much-needed refuge from the ableism of people around him. Well RantWoman
imagines.
The next part
of the message mentioned Couples Counseling Friend’s former professional work
with many children who have been sexually abused. The first part of the message
was about something wonderful coming with something terrible. RantWoman is not unfamiliar with the concept
of unexpected blessing. Something though
about the delivery together with Couples Counseling Friend’s refusal to respond
by email to a simple email inquiry “Do you remember what you said?” Do you
remember what you intended?” somehow gave that part of the ministry a creepy
edge.
Pizza?
Couples
Counseling Friend, as RantWoman heard it, next talked about asking her young
clients what they wanted on a pizza so they could forget the bad things
forever.
Huh??? What
kind of treatment modality is that? How does that work neurologically? Does the
pizza also whack things one wants to hold or only bad stuff? It’s not one
RantWoman remembers from her stint as a behavioral health bean counter. How
does that work? Is God just showing off some weird sense of humor showing up
with this message?
More to the
point, eat a lot of pizza (or whatever) and just try to forget… pretty well
encapsulates the emotional atmosphere a good bit of the time in the RantFamily
household. That eat and forget and never mind emotional nuances or skills
atmosphere also contributed to between 0
and 2 threads of sexual assault per kid among the 3 RantChildren. RantWoman is
the 0 which still leaves plenty of work for a mental health professional and
plenty to keep washing away in the well of good spiritual practice. . Pizza and
/or the possibility that no one has figured out the kid is violently allergic
to pizza, is its own digression. Expectations about forgetting are, on Planet
RantWoman completely unrealistic and also a little beside the point: If
expectations of forgetting are to be part of the therapy, should one just run
screaming from the room, even if it has been a lot of trouble to get into the
room in the first place? If one is not going to forget, understandings and
healing “I see you” conversations can evolve over time.
That is where
RantWoman has gotten to while seasoning her creeped out reaction. By seasoning,
RantWoman means a group email including Couples Counseling Friend and others
who were present or not. Besides the inquiry above to Couples Counseling
Friend, RantWoman also asked others what if any elements they remembered. RantWoman
did not have high expectations, but now simply notes data collected.
Couples Counseling
Friend repeated a frequent request of RantWoman, basically not to email her
except regarding matters related to Couples Counseling Friend also being
Recording Clerk.
Helpful? Uhh,
today the Benjamin Lay reference has sent RantWoman’s recollections of many
matters to do with disability and Minutes so guess what, RantWoman in her role
as serial recording clerk to many Quaker bodies invited Couples Counseling
Friend back into the picture. [RantWoman also notes at least two batches of
minutes where Couples Counseling Friend either ignored RantWoman’s words entirely
or seemed quite at sea with what RantWoman was trying to present. In the second
case others were at sea and conversations continue.]
Friend Whose
Nom De Blog RantWoman is trying not to Reconsider generously told the entire
recipient list they do not need to respond to RantWoman’s honest questions.
RantWoman’s excessively plain English to Quakerese language filter may yet melt
over this Friend’s presumption to know more about the intent of RantWoman’s
choice of recipients than RantWoman does. People are adults. They can take
responsibility for managing their email. This Friend also offered an opinion
about inquiries as to the meaning of Vocal ministry that RantWoman is having
trouble squaring with the invitation listed in the bulletin.
RantWoman then
wrote back that often for her inquiries as to something about her ministry are
often very welcome and deepening; Madame Clerk also wrote back even more
movingly than RantWoman AND expressed unspecified disquiet with the previous
Friend’s response. Another Friend wrote back also noting disquiet and
expressing various strands of blessing.
Back in Worship
RantWoman
returns to the Meeting for Worship in question.
RantWoman
offered the ministry summarized here.
Than another
Friend offered the ministry from Corinthians about “love is kind, patient…” And Meeting closed AND RantWoman needed to ask
in person to be held in the Light.
Sure. Now
what?
In Light and
Faithfulness
RantWoman
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