Apology Required

Setting the Scene, with thanks to the dance between process and content

RantWoman has been well fed yesterday with phone, text, and email leadings. RantWoman would prefer to be running on more sleep than she currently is, but rantWoman tried and going back to sleep did not happen. There IS an apology, actually more than one, here, but around RantWoman,the Friend due an apology sometimes has to wait in line.

RantWoman also acknowledges that this post is everything that drives people nuts about RantWoman communications: way too many threads in one package. RantWoman finally figured out sometimes it is good to break things down after she did the big scary message thing to RantMom, RantMom and Little Sister both yelped VERY Loudly, and RantWoman got it into her head that RantMom was mostly doing FINE about finding other info streams telling her the same things RantWoman was trying to tell her.Today RantWoman has the time she has. Breaking things down can come.

RantWoman HUMBLY thanks EVERYONE who has contributed to evolution reflected in this post.

 

RantWoman notes a LOVELY young couple who attended Midweek for Worship. It was to say the least VERY awkward to speak of the upcoming Business Meeting schedule, about which RantWoman is DEFINITELY not the best person to ask. Nope, you do NOT get any clues to who the couple is.If they come, they will have to speak up for themselves. And if the Holy Spirit moves well with and among Friends, RantWoman prays that Business Meeting will be one of those OH WOW events that sometimes amazes newcomers instead of realization of many paths to Oh YUCK.

 

Apology: The After Worship Version

 

Dear Not an Idiot Friend

 

THANK YOU for responding fairly promptly last night to RantWoman’s texts! Thank you for candor in your own words instead of secondhand from a young adult Friend.

 

RantWoman sincerely apologizes for hurting your feelings. RantWoman humbly apologizes for complete inability so far to find nicer words than Idiot to contain her concerns about difficulty reaching you by phone, text, email. RantWoman WILL keep trying on the editorial front. RantWoman also gratefully acknowledges some very important recent improvement in communications access. RantWoman will be texting some further questions in the morning.

 

And where is God in all this?

1.       God is RantWoman’s impetus to get up and try again.

2.       Around RantWoman God is certain that RantWoman’s time effort, and emotional status are every bit as important as those of Not An Idiot Friend and the fabric of our community.

3.       RantWoman is going to season the question of the Battle of the PTSD all stars and what might help to create a space where there is room for all to be heard and to grow. RantWoman observes that she has made REPEATED requests to cut out secondhand mush and creat places for people to talk. RantWoman notes that the BEST suggestion of effective process came via the Boys and Girls Club: adult gets the kid combatants together, asks people what happened, encourages apology and usually winds up with apology on both sides. In the interest of editorial conciseness RantWoman will be referring questions about the difference between this and current practice to her Dial-a-Tirade service for now.

4.       Around RantWoman God is sure we are all still supposed to be worshipping together., though RantWoman also commends her recurring message about how spending (the time it takes) to figure out how to worship together is better than bomb threats.

5.       RantWoman herself presently is at high risk of just running screaming from the room, with shrieks of Lies Lies Lies thrown in as a bonus. However, RantWoman COMPLETELY unites with the thought expressed by MULTIPLE topical committees that present practices ARE NOT WORKING. As RantWoman said last month, let us nurture what is working and quickly jettison what is not working.

6.       God is sure there is much hurt and that if we cannot now sit with all the hurt, we can grow together to do so.

7.       God reminds RantWoman rather firmly that overuse of the word idiot is in fact very abelist and RantWoman will strive to cut back on those grounds as well.

 

Before Worship version A

 

RantWoman! Just because it’s daylight does not mean you are getting to the apology that is wanted.

 

Yeah. And RantWoman is tempted just to apologize for not losing her temper sooner or in more colorful terms.

 

RantWoman!

 

Let’s try

 

Dear Not an Idiot Friend, RantWoman has been trying to make meaningful contact for, like, years.Meaningful contact like by phone IN DAYLIGHT, not at your late-night dinnertime, not at 9pm the Saturday before Meeting for Business, By Phone, after no more than say TWO texts.  But if the word “idiot” is what finally got your attention, Praise Jayzus!

 

RantWoman! You do both love this Meeting, RIGHT? So WHAT NEEDS TO CHANGE so you can get along and the Meeting can flourish?

 

Dear Not an Idiot Friend, I am sorry I hurt your feelings. May we please try again to work together?

 

 

Before Worshjp Version B

RantWoman started to address Not an Idiot Friend . Words poured off her keyboard and (GULP!)  RantWoman’s message manglement service kind of went haywire. Below are the results. Please hold us all in the Light.

 

Dear Not an idiot Friend

Thank you SO much for FINALLY reading your email. I have been trying to get your attention for YEARS by email, multiple texts to get to a phone call, phone call…. Rarely do correspondence get acknowledged.  But if the word “idiot” is what finally got your attention, PRAISE GOD.

 

Here, digesting from an even longer document is this Quaker Meeting that I THINK we both really value and some comments from RantWoman about what the long affiliation has meant to her..

 

Here is this clerk who is working very hard and whom RantWoman DEEPLY esteems.

 

Thank you for sending this committee to yell at me instead of talking to me yourself.

Sorry but your comment in business meeting needs to get in line behind wonderful powerhouse older woman beginning chemo and the big changes in the U District.

You and I have already had one exchange where we both minimized each other’s perspective.  Honestly, probably not a thing we should try a steady diet of, but if a little minimization leaks in every now and then, maybe we can just cope, call it out, and work through.

 

I am happy to take responsibility for lashing out in the moment in Business Meeting IF you would like I would also be happy to apologize for not losing my temper sooner or in more colorful terms.

 

But ya know, if we both SAY we care about this Meeting, what can we do going forward so we do not get tangled up in arguments like this?

 

In Light and Faithfulness

 

RantWoman

 

 

 

Random allusion to Barclay and other snarky comments just because.

RantWoman wishes she could promise to lay down the Still Didn’t Get The Memo Committee on Email Immoderation at the Association of Bad Friends, but if anyone is interested in how RantWoman threads the line between literature scholar, spiritual accompaniment, and crisis line in email, there might be rich opportunities for learning.

 

And for those who still insist on further “…apology…,” may RantWoman suggest a year-long romp through language, theology, and 17^th century history and thought as delivered by Barclay’s Apology?