Canadian Centre of Diversity and Inclusion - Free AF

Canada envy anyone?

But, But, what about people with disabilities?

Really?

Dear Beloved Community.

Digression alert: the thought to reference RantWoman's currently dormant habit of doing sudoku in Meeting For Worship wandered through RantWoman's head as she was gathering her thoughts for this post. At first, RantWoman was going to cite only one post, but RantWoman is finding herself steadied by thoughts of posting the whole thread.
https://rantwomanrsof.blogspot.com/search?q=sudoku

One reason to post the whole thread, not just the post about "if... be glad you can see across the room to be bothered:": mention of the workings of a clearness committee related to blindness issues. There is narrative afoot that nothing works and RantWoman is ungrateful and unreceptive. Readers please consider comments about the clearness committee wherein much WAS very helpful--though the clearness committee kind of decided they were done before RantWoman thought they were done..

With that digression out of the way, back to current minutes Please excuse RantWoman: REALLY? Is RantWoman REALLY the scariest thing in your lives? Really?

Like way ahead of the Trump administration, the climate crisis, mass incarceration, human rights abominations being perpetrated in our names around the world?

RantWoman ia TRYING not to minimize distress. The thought has occurred to RantWoman that some voices are just out for blood and praying all over the internet about the problem is the best RantWoman can do right now anyway, so pray away.

RantWoman is grateful for conversations with room for very different ideas about worship, conversations that do not just try to cram RantWoman's into someone else's theological box. RantWoman WILL elaborate about worship, the good order of Friends, and another round of "Go talk to your counselor" in separate posts.

RantWoman cannot fix the past, no matter how much she might want to; RantWoman can only try to do better going forward. RantWoman has a long list of her own miscommunications that she really does not want to recur. RantWoman is administering serious doses of sleep,  seasoning, and persistence, faithfulness to her Light. RantWoman does not expect any of this to solve everything.

BUT Rantwoman cannot promise never to lose her temper. RantWoman cannot promise never to get triggered. RantWoman cannot promise not to have a jump out of her skin when interrupted reaction she seems to be having in lots of contexts. RantWoman cannot promise to deliver anywhere near the level of ego massage some among us feel entitled to. AND RantWoman has the nerve to re-affirm her Light that God gets things done all kinds of ways.

Furthermore RantWoman IS being faithful to her Light about not signing on to things she cannot agree to without reasonable accommodations. Stay tuned because RantWoman has also become clear about another step that RantWoman thinks WILL be good for the community.

Query: How can adults listen deeply and model real conflict resolution instead of just trying to cram each other into ill-fitting boxes?

In Light and Faithfulness.

RantWoman

Not the Only Problem and other moments.

Warning: sarcasm likely to occur below.

Hallelujah!

Instead of "disability is not the problem," there is at least ONE voice saying "Disability is not your only problem!"

No SHIT! Praise Jesus. Thank you for noticing.

MAYBE, just MAYBE if we can all work with the dsability-related CRAP, RantWoman's charming, sunny but acerbic self will also achieve better equilibrium AND ...

Observations:

RantWoman is digesting both minutes and conversations. RantWoman actually appreciates Friends' observations about a number of issues. RantWoman also appreciates specific details which have not necessarily emerged in the trends reported to RantWoman.

RantWoman maintains mental lists of:

--things she has struggled with her whole life

--things which are a lot harder or a lot worse post vision loss

--some other worries around the edges.

So RantWoman PROMISES to be grateful if Friends share specifics with thoughts of helping RantWoman figure out which of the above boxes particular items might belong in.

For instance, RantWoman's capacity for digression and inability to fit in others' boxes has vexed people around her, fellow students, co-workers for decades. In the best case, in college, everyone in a class on ethics taught in the engineering school by one of RantWoman's early Quaker influences got their paper topics from things RantWoman said in class. So topical questions in reference to current minutes: one Friend says the problem is getting worse. RantWoman wonders how that relates to eyesight issues including eyesight and conversational dynamics.. RantWoman also wonders whether the digressions are in fact something disability related and therefore new to many people. RantWoman particularly notes this point with her next concern.

In a more piquant moment, in a long-ago conversation with Nominating committee, the committee accused RantWoman of getting off-topic. So RantWoman asked those present to point out the problem as it occurred. 3 of the 5 instances cited in the rest of the conversation had some connection with disability! Nuances here keep getting muddled as things get reported.

Now RantWoman SOMETIMES gets her content more tightly organizes and at least monitors the flow of things to get back to where conversations migrated from. Some of the time. What do you want, perfection?

Tired?

But RantWoman, ... meeting for worship ...stay away because we asked you to. We're all tired....
--THANK YOU. RantWoman recognizes that we understand Meeting for Worship really differently. RantWoman needs to trust her Light about saying more, in a separate post.
--Yeah. And if you are tired of problems you get to go home from, just consider how tiriing it is to deal all the time. Plus, it's the Trump administration. Everyone with a soul and a shred of decency is tired and people facing onslaughts from multiple directions, can you imagine, MIGHT just be more on edge that average comfortable folk.
But the main point: all this means we all need MORE not less Meeting for Worship. Stay tuned for further RantWoman Light

Let us not forget the President.

Speaking of #disability, referencing the current occupant of the White House is becoming increasingly difficult for anyone who strives to treat people with disabilities respectfully. RantWoman fails gloriously.  RantWoman also fails gloriously when it comes to items of questionable taste. So please bear with RantWoman's favorite hashtag of the day, in honor of the Orange One proclaiming himself The Chosen One and various other Presidential gaffes:
#CheetoChristStupidCzar
Randy Rainbow video

And before anyone draws any parallels with RantWoman, RantWoman at least keeps her Pauline letters straight and has actually been muddling about with I Corinthinians chapters 11-14. RantWoman is mad curious what the Corinthians were fighting about.

In Light and Faithfulness

RantWoman

Kindness--Naomia Shihab Nye

RantWoman is grateful for the email stream that delivered this poem.

Kindness
by Naomi Shihab Nye

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to gaze at bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

Naomi Shihab Nye, 1952 

From Words Under the Words: Selected Poems. Copyright © 1995 by Naomi Shihab Nye. Reprinted with the permission of the author.

https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/kindness

Three Moments

RantWoman has been interacting with minutes. There are three moments where RantWoman would have wished someone had the wit to say "RantWoman, why did you..."

Conflict is a Gift of God Friend: unsafe at any speed?

RantWoman, why did you enter Meeting for Business one month when Conflict Is a Gift of God Friend was speaking (a fact omitted in the minutes: who was speaking)?

RantWoman can recount multiple instances of being physically (Grab the Blind Person and Bless Them) and verbally abused by said Friend, often in the past in relation to RantWoman's family medical issues and most recently in an STFU moment involving chairs. The chairs issue involves communications that need updating and RantWoman strives for zenlike calm as things move forward. At any rate,  RantWoman is emphatically NOT called to accept said Friend's opinion about whether RantWoman belongs in Meeting for Business.

Oh, but RantWoman, doesn't that history make you feel unsafe in worship with said Friend?

NO! Sitting in worship with RantWoman and not dragging RantWoman across insane street crossings is an excellent place for Conflict is a Gift of God Friend to be. Plus remember that stuff about prayer across differences.

But RantWoman, unsafe...?

God is present. RantWoman has NO expectation of 100% safety anywhere. RantWoman's concept of holding in the Light is pretty fierce sometimes. We are not required to like what the Light shows for it to be helpful. If you are worried about RantWoman taking up too much space, please ask no further. Be glad RantWoman has a good therapist also.

Time Travel?

RantWoman, WHY.. by name during Meeting for Worship? That Friend was trying to clerk three commitees and save the Meeting and you just were NOT properly appreciative.

Look, maybe RantWoman misunderstood suggestions about meeting at Quarterly Meeting AFTER an event RantWoman wanted to ask about mic availability for. RantWoman gets that leadup communications were um not conducive to... Maybe after years and years of trying to communicate, RantWoman was suddenly magically supposed to expect that Phone Call Friend would grasp and accurately convey RantWoman's message. Maybe there is some time travel portal known to others that RantWoman has missed, not counting RantWoman's 2019 mentally jumping all over the anniversaries timeline

RantWoman GETS that RantWoman's experience of the circumstances may be hard to swallow.  RantWoman IS sorry for causing pain. RantWoman is striving to be faithful to her Light about big concerns and NOT to repeat the pain. RantWoman has sent further email and wishes here to repeat a thought to try again about conversations, perhaps with help from a different combination of people.

Triggered

RantWoman, why would you not just walk out of the room because ... thought you should?

The word "idiot" in the search bar will yield several reflections. RantWoman can add apologies for overestimating the room's capacity for linguistic subtlety to her apology for not losing her temper sooner or in more colorful terms. What matters in the moment: RantWoman was BADLY triggered by past abuses, by difficulty articulating issues. Even though it looked to everyone else like there were clear paths out of the room, RantWoman did NOT trust herself to be able to walk out safely. The more people tried to gaslight Rantwoman and tell her she was wrong about knowing her own body, the clearer RantWoman became about her position. Thank GOD RantWoman did not stop seasoning with Friends until she found a minority of voices who exactly GOT HER POINT.

But RantWoman, do you feel abandoned in your distress because everyone else just walked out of the room?

Good question. RantWoman also hit a theme from her childhood--and later a way to characterize the theme without spelling out the exact circumstances. Isn't the Light FUN!

If there has to be a Called Meeting Handout 1

August 23, 2019

(RantWoman)

Friends

I am sorry I have hurt people. I want to make amends and to help release the energy I think is present in the community. I cannot do any of those things without direct engagement both in difficult realities and the many forms of care we show for each other.

Meeting is very important to me and I am NOT called simply to go away. I am not called to go visit my current concerns on another Meeting. I am not called to be silent about my concerns about this community, both its internal health and in light of the changes swirling around our neighborhood. I am called to express my gratitude for many positive moments which have nurtured me both for life in the Meeting and for work in the wider world. I am called to stay put and to try to address problems and vision for a richer spiritual community going forward. I am called to tell you all I think there is opportunity here, opportunity to learn about issues likely to affect all of us in one way or another, opportunity to learn, paths to beloved community.

Despite MANY imperfections and abuses, a solid spiritual grounding at Meeting has steadied me in the face of many circumstances

·         Long history of political activism, advocacy, public ministry—please choose your term

·         The reality of having bad vision my whole life and the continuing emotional work of what that has meant for me personally, for my family, and in terms of growth in faith.

·         My medical moments when DNA lotto kicked in again in midlife and I had to learn whole new life strategies, coping skills, and technologies and to find ways to leverage life experience in new arenas including, to use an academic term I find annoying, to interrogate the world of Disability.  

·         My sister’s very difficult medical history

·         Two rounds of cancer treatment for my mother, a move to Seattle and transition from driving to transit and public transportation.

·         My housing challenges due in equal parts to Oh Good Grief personal decisions on my part, the subprime mortgage fiasco, and medical emergencies.

·         Transition from previous work lives to new ways of serving the community and nurturing my concerns for sustainability, neighborliness, and community connections.

At this point in my life, I feel very lucky to have stable housing, a comparatively large apartment by Seattle standards and ample nearby public transportation options. The housing has come with opportunities I could not have predicted to leverage life experience about IT issues, develop new project management skills and to engage in important public processes about transportation, affordable housing, and the whole business of creating peaceable community.

I have also learned many things I am bad at, not only as reflected in Friends complaints about me but also in other environments. I find it oddly comforting that complaint streams have much in common. In some cases, such as basically endless out of the box thinking, complaints reflect ways I have been driving co-workers crazy for years. One of the gifts of living in Seattle is that there are actually people used to thinking in terms of whole system design; sometimes this means that what is out of some people’s boxes most definitely still falls into other shared boxes.

There have now been many months of minutes with my name all over them. As I said, I am not ungrateful for some feedback. However I need Friends to reflect on some things that are stunningly absent: mention of actual specific efforts to deal with disability, absence of common terminology about disability, absence of ANY awareness about the topics listed above and others that I engage with the wider world. Do Friends think you have correctly defined problems? What openings are there if Friends consider…?

In Light and Faithfulness

(RantWoman)

If there has to be a called meeting: Disability snapshot as of ... Handout 2

(RantWoman) 

August 23, 2019

Hi Friends

The conversation Sunday is not going to be all about disability and accessibility—UNLESS Friends are open to extending the time I am present and starting that conversation in detail. However, to seed the conversation over the next month and in September.

Some principles about disability important to me:

Access needs to happen whether any specific person or committee is available or not.

Nothing about us without us: it is not access unless the person making the request agrees that proposed measures address the request.

It is important for more than one person in a community to understand some basics of physical accessibility, accessible event planning, alternate formats, digital accessibility. Everyone does not have to know everything; the goal is shared work! Many things that increase accessibility and inclusion are easy to learn and easy to do while having huge impact. Other points about physical accessibility are important for some renters and for daily community life.

It does not have to be perfect to be better than nothing. At the same time if someone is consistently desultory about for example providing documents in alternate format when requested AND, my understanding,  repeatedly speaks against my presence in Meeting for Business, a Friend may expect to be called out by name instead of  simply in reference to a specific issue.

Help create the Ad-hoc Committee on Disability

The Clearness Committee to create an Ad-hoc committee on Disability is NOT at unity about a number of questions:

o   Would new members of the proposed committee be welcome if Friends are led? My view: YES, There is plenty of work for all of us.

o   How should we approach our work and what should we prioritize?

Reasonable Accommodations requests

To aid that discernment, here are a number of reasonable accommodations requests including requests for specific instructions from Meeting for Business:

Keep trying: The most important request I made a long time ago: keep trying because I do not know what will work. I aim to mention measures that have worked as well as things that have spectacularly not worked.

Create some Meeting guidance and a resource list about accessible events, requests for documents in alternate formats, and physical accessibility.

Make it easy for committees to access the mic system now used in Meeting for Business  when planning events such as introduction of the QuEST Fellows or events at Meeting sponsored by a specific committee. Consider whether and under what terms it would also be valuable to advertise to renters the Mic and PA system we have.

To support the work of the Clerk, please instruct the Clerk, by the end of calendar year 2019 to take advantage of opportunities to learn about blind person in meetings issues by attending one or more of a list of meetings I have explicitly invited her to attend.

In light of difficulty expressed about recruiting recording clerks and frustration expressed by past recording clerks, please instruct the current Recording Clerk to participate in some discussion of minutes with an eye to what issues related to disability are presented clearly and what issues are absent or poorly presented.  Past recording clerks and other interested Friends will also be invited.

End the ongoing harm to the community of excluding me from Meeting for Business. I am happy to discuss a number of things that I hope will make the experience more productive for everyone. I am happy to discuss my view about a single standard of truth in different realms and I am aware that there are points one might argue. But the discussion needs to happen and needs to happen with me in the room.

End the ongoing harm to the community of excluding me from the UFM email list. I can live with the guidelines as they are with one observation: on another Meeting’s list reply/all has sometimes, for example in the event of a death or some medical events, provided a rich window into community connections including information I find valuable. Humbly, I do not care whether I am the only person raising this concern:  I face LOTS of barriers to making and maintaining connections, and I find these exchanges extremely valuable. So SOME flexibility about the guidelines would be a gift.

Thank you all for reading and holding these comments and for responses as you are able.

In Light and faithfulness.

(RantWoman)

If there has to be a called meeting, HANDOUTS 3: electronica

Comments for Called Meeting: Technology. Email. Blogs.

Technology particularly computers and email is a very big part of my life. Technology is a big part of my options for accessing information, particularly “alternate formats” and design issues that help tools work together so that I can have somewhere close to the same access to information as sighted people take for granted. I want to offer these comments for seasoning. Basically, this is a weird invitation to further conversations.

Email:

First, THANK YOU to many Friends for bearing with my email. THANK YOU for feedback that has helped me over time write emails that I HOPE most of the time are clearer with action steps more easily identifiable.

THANK YOU also for bearing with a point I obstinately refuse to back away from: I really do sometimes get so upset I cannot talk. If I am that upset, I also cannot necessarily write coherent email either. Sometimes the data dump that results contains valuable information  and I appreciate Friends who hang in there in the conversation while I figure out what needs to be done with email. I also appreciate that an academic background in literature develops different skills disentangling meaning from complex texts that might occur for other disciplines.

Other times, I lose patience when I have something I am angry or upset about and a person on the phone says something like “I cannot hear you in that tone of voice.” I may or may not be able to adjust my tone of voice; that does not change the fact that a problem needs to be dealt with. I have done a TON of academic telephone tech support and I am pretty used to people being frustrated, confused, upset, sometimes about technology, sometimes about something else in their lives. But this like some of my other singular gifts such as sorting out email is something I take for granted and assume is as easy for other people as it is for me. I apparently need frequent reminders that this assumption is not reasonable.

I need to apologize because I know some of my email falls in a realm I also understand as harassment. For myself, I have learned that email has its limits and sometimes a phone call is the best pathway forward in a conversation. However, for me email is invaluable both because it creates a record of the conversation and it accommodates different schedules better than phone tag. I frequently cannot read my own notes. I also rely a LOT on search strings to keep track of conversations. And SOMETIMES having different eyes on the same email creates shared light different from what would occur one on one. 

I do not apologize for trying to be true to my Light about a number of topics; I absolutely do apologize for not finding kinder language.

Does any particular Light rise for Friends from these comments.

I would find it extremely helpful at some point to have some public discussion about the UFM email list.

Technology in general:

Technology including mobile phones, use of email, and what everyone can do online has evolved A LOT over my time at Meeting.

Parallel with this general evolution, there has been dramatic increase in design to include people with  different disabilities, including sensory, cognitive, and physical disabilities. This is GREAT when it works  and people have the devices, connection, and knowledge to use the new technology. It can be exhausting though to make all the necessary connections.

LOTS of Friends struggle with different technologies. I definitely encourage learning and I appreciate it when I hear of Friends supporting each other in this learning and growing what we can do with our time.

In 2003 I sat on a committee for NPYM about migrating from photocopying and snail mail distribution of documents to mainly email. This transition saved the Yearly Meeting thousands of dollars in print and mail costs but it also made the then secretary decide it was time to retire.

I have had on and off involvement with the NPYM IT committee ever since it was first created in 2004.

I have been very glad to see both Friends Journal and Western Friend develop online editions. I love the Quaker Speak videos and share them regularly.

About my blogs

Friends, I am happy to take responsibility for the content good and bad of my blogs. I do not always know how best to tend to concerns.

Http://RantWoman.Blogspot.com  

Mostly non-quaker but since faith and religion are important to me, religion wanders in.

I also sometimes include moments of Meeting life if they reflect problems common to other organizations. Examples include how do small organizations with little knowledge base about accessibility evaluate whether software is accessible to people with differing abilities as well as civic problems like parking and bikeshare.

Http://RantWomanRSOF.Blogspot.com

Blog as Quaker Journal with what I HOPE are understood as many disclaimers that comments reflect my understanding as of the moment or subject to wonky eyeballs and other paths to misinterpretation.

I take seriously Friends concerns and over time have adjusted some practices. I usually DO NOT offer to take down posts , but would be willing to consider requests and certainly to add material addressing concerns.

I also frankly consider some Friends’ objections to my content as silencing or gaslighting. As I frequently say, we are not required to like everything that comes along in life. Sometimes for me Light is painful. I spoke recently with a Friend who has a Buddhist practice. That Friend’s understanding: “pain is unavoidable; suffering is optional.” That frankly is not language I would use, but it does ask us all to consider different perspectives on difficult circumstances.

Thank you all for reading and holding in the Light as you are able.

After Action Report: Joys and Sorrows / Concerns

Joys and Sorrows are not particularly supposed to need an after-action report. But Literature Brain showed up. RantWoman apologizes if anyone who recognizes themselves feels mischaracterized. The point of this excursion is how RantWoman adds up messages.

Friend 1. Holding in the Light works ...cancer treatment...1 year. Clean mammogram....
Difficult spells are sometimes difficult and can take 10 years.

Friend 2 who previously offering a Hold in the Light request for the event referred to. Holding in the Light Works: two-hour non-violent witness against white supremacists wanting to disrupt a public event about humanitarian activities on the US Southern Border.
(RantWoman to herself in irascible curmudgeon mode: but what actually got said INSIDE the event.? And Awesome nonviolent witness inspiring RantWoman to further steadfastness in the realm of statements about the proposed public charge rules designed in RantWoman's estimation to deter immigrants, refugees, asylum seekers from applying for services they or their US citizen children may be eligible for).

Friend 3: Oh Come oh come Emmanuel earworm.God with us. God among us.

RantWoman: cue Fathers and Sons, tag Joys and Concerns in stream:
--Repeated request to be held in the Light

--JOY: Many people are doing things that make a difference

--Concern: Is RantWoman called to speak to neighbor in spirit of "What's up with that?" about neighbor's bulling behavior toward younger neighbors. All are guys with disabilities? Is the point of the meditation as much "What's up with that?" as anything else?

--Concern: A piece of info RantWoman is not supposed to know. An older about to retire source who, in RantWoman's opinion SHOULD KNOW BETTER" and a younger early in career person who has no idea. at all about the issue on RantWoman's mind."

--Joy: Blind Family, now adults who had imperfect and acerbically remembered Quaker caseworker. MUCH was less than ideal and the family grew up to be a strong family, good at self-advocacy and with skills to help out elders trying to wear too many hats.

--Joy and Sorrow: Newcomer (overcome; RantWoman is especially cautious about possible mischaracterization, partly because RantWoman was touched by conversation afterward and does not want to scare ...away.)

--Joy: Friend 4 who has been away: school is going well and I was able to visit two elders it is hard for RantWlay to see anytime but Sundays.

--Joy Quaker Dad: children did wonderful creative things with plastic lids that were not recyclable. Someone would have to be a WAY bigger curmudgeon than RantWoman not to be delighted with.


Paraphrasing, Voice of Elder: RantWoman that was too long and too much request to be held in the Light and I do not want to discuss.

Okay, Friend. Thank you for your opinion. RantWoman will be entertaining the thought that you mean there is no room specifically for RantWoman to request to be held in the Light. Charitably, RantWoman thanks you for the information that you missed her point. That probably means others missed her point as well. RantWoman will hold in the Light thoughts of further revelation.

In Light and Faithfulness.

RantWoman

Earworms: Rise Up, O Men of God / Oh Come Oh Come Emmanuel

What's a girl to do?

Are you struggling in your faith community or otherwise because of mansplaining, unexamined male privilege, gendered conversation styles, toxic masculinity, needs mid-meeting for consultations in the Ad-hoc Gender issues Conference Room, aka the women's restroom?

You could...sit down for prayerful reflection with queries and a process elder to talk things through sincerely.

OR

just double down on signifiers of masculinity. Bring on the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, singing Rise up oh Men of God. Blow out the mental cobwebs with pipe organ and male voices. THEN go back to the prayerful seasoning.





But what if the earworm shared in Meeting for Worship with that special Christmas in August feel is "Oh, come, Oh come Emmanuel?"

God, to the extent that the Google is in tune with God recommends this wonderful instrumental version.


Oh, come Oh Come Emmanual and ransom captive israel.

Wait, what is the theology of that, especially the ransom part? God with us, the wonderful ambiguity of the Spanish "entre nosotros," within us, among us?

Never mind.

Listen to the music. Listen to the music even if you are not used to pasting sonic metaphors into vexing challenges. Listen to the music. Then go back to words.

In Light and Faithfulness

RantWoman

Pray some more

RantWoman keeps trying to hit the right notes about a much needed “I’m sorry.” RantWoman IS sorry and the topic is tangled with threads where RantWoman’s Excessively Plain English to Quakerese filter is both badly needed and at great risk of malfunction, and malfunction more serious than words just not making it out of RantWoman’s mouth at all. So in the meantime, let’s talk about prayer.

Praying across differences

RantWoman deeply believes in the power of praying across differences.

Judging by

--several lively email threads related to the NPYM minute on eradicating racism

--numerous process and conceptual hiccups related to the history and present of talking about disability in RantWoman’s Meeting

--the All RantWoman all the time flow of ….

the “praying across differences” theme that first help draw RantWoman in needs some shoring up right now.

Prayer, impatiently

RantWoman, if you wanted to organize a “Prayer for Dummies” study group to talk about different people’s experiences of prayer, different ideas about prayer / holding in the Light at your Meeting, who would you ask? How would you find out whether anyone else is interested?  How many conversations would you need to have about materials to start from, videos, books and the same materials in alternative formats such as ebook or audio and library-related themes connected with the alternate formats issue? Do you even want to convene the group? If not how can all those darned questions help get the group convened on some kind of finite calendar?

            For extra grins, do you think anyone who was in either the Barclay reading group or the two-year-long meander through John Woolman’s journal even thought about you dealing with alternate format issues?

South Africa: that country people in the US love because race issues are even more stark than…

RantWoman remembers when Dudu Mtshazo  from South Africa was Friend in Residence for NPYM annual Session. She talked about people of different races violating that era’s pass laws to pray together.

RantWoman read some of Desmond Tutu’s book about the Truth and Reconciliation Commission. The Commission is a powerful story. The book is not good bedtime reading.

RantWoman has also been digesting Trevor Noah’s book Born A Crime about growing up in post-apartheid South Africa. The author’s mother is very Christian and on Sundays they often went to church 3 times, once to white church, once to colored church, and once to Black church. White church was intellectually stimulating, Colored church brought the author in contact with a lot of good stories, and at Black church there was a lot of loud music and casting out of demons. In other words, Trevor grew up, to use a favorite RantWoman term, theologically multilingual. For a time Trevor skipped Black church to spend time with his father, and he weaves rather arch observations in here and there.

Prayer was not a big topic in the book. RantWoman thinks race matters and prayer is still needed, but does not think anyone should be required to pray any specific way.

I need to pray with these people.

RantWoman thinks she may already have posted about one of her hats outside meeting, the state affiliate of a national blind consumer group (terminology alert: blind consumer group. Concept extremely relevant to RantWoman, outside Meeting activity always nurtured by RantWoman’s connections to Friends). Blind Consumer group is avowedly secular but a teleconference prayer group formed. The group is convened by a very committed Christian. The group uses all sorts of language that is other than RantWoman would use. But when RantWoman received the initial email, RantWoman’s first thought was “I MUST pray with these people.” The group meets by conference call at a time that is awkward for RantWoman but who says people cannot pray by email too?

This week in blindness tourism

Currently playing on Planet RantWoman: Blindness Tourism, with a side of Quakerese, and giant spiritual striptease. RantWoman may explain in another post and an AWOL editor leaving lots of conceptual tangle which RantWoman may or may not at some point be called to edit further. RantWoman humbly acknowledges that this post is almost as cryptic as another blog RantWoman most frequently finds obnoxious but occasionally culls important Light from.

Sleep

RantWoman and sleep have a singular dance right now. Saturday night RantWoman had no trouble writing and writing. RantWoman did not try to tightly edit and for once thought not to post. until it was almost 6 am. RantWoman still woke up before 8. RantWoman, somewhere between prayer and inertia seriously considered not going her regular paths; RantWoman made her usual bus.

Ministry of Moving Large Muscles and Banging Things.

RantWoman is glad she went, for idiosyncratic reasons. Especially when running on nowhere near enough sleep, it felt good have ministry of moving large muscles and banging things while setting up tables and chairs for light lunch.

Nasturtiums in Salad Friend was funny. She wanted RantWoman to have help from the community. RantWoman told Nasturtiums in Salad friend she definitely did not have to do the work; Perhaps RantWoman undersold the concepts of community and tending the many gardens at her (and RantMom’s) retirement community. Perhaps RantWoman should have told Nasturtiums in Salad Friend that she could supervise.

RantWoman did not really tell Nasturtiums in Salad Friend that the most useful "help" while RantWoman is moving furniture is for people just to stay out of her way unless they are large enough for the likes of RantWoman to see easily or to handle it if RantWoman plows into them. RantWoman did most of the work herself blessedly free of collision possibilities. RantWoman got help with a few tables but definitely delegated the cleanup furniture moving.

The Microwave

Heating up the new Clerk’s fried rice was easy. Tow Truck Guy mansplaining about plate from the Right Cupboard to counter and where to find the serving spoons was amusing, particularly since RantWoman has known where the serving spoons are for a LONG time since before... No one noticed what a random experience RantWoman and flat panel microwave controls can be. RantWoman pretty much just punches some random time and then find the Start button. The fried rice got eaten—and enjoyed. So did RantWoman’s brussels sprouts.

Da Tech stuff

RantWoman is learning a new browser, Chrome instead of Internet Explorer. (What’s a browser? RantWoman will explain.) RantWoman’s fingers need new muscle memories. RantWoman is also trying to learn more of the browser without touching her mouse. Say no more? Not even about screen readers? Or software accessibility or… RantWoman is humbled to find herself somewhat on the same technological footing as many tech novices even though RantWoman is speaking of different products.

In other Planet RantWoman news

RantWoman has been reading minutes, particularly a large section of 2019-06 minutes again in fine all RantWoman all the time devoted to RantWoman. These minutes involve the Recording Clerk’s grasp of a report that RantWoman contributed to. RantWoman would appreciate seeing a copy of the original report because the minutes do not reflect everything RantWoman said; RantWoman has no basis for knowing what actually got said and RantWoman is shortly going to repeat a point to the effect that relying on minutes is nowhere equal access to the content delivered in Meeting for Business.

RantWoman may even remark tightly about Meeting for Business not being in charge of God. It is of course the other way around to start with. RantWoman DOES NOT mean she has carte blanche to wreck all kinds of havoc, only that she is NOT called to go away and is seasoning how best to nurture the possibilities she sees.

WARNING: Extreme Sarcasm Alert!

RantWoman feels deep affection for the people she writes of here. RantWoman does not dispute that the interwebs are way to full of way to much scary harsh content from RantWoman. RantWoman is VERY sorry for hurting people, particularly when she cannot even tell she has done so. Here RantWoman definitely holds the Friends who evoke these comments in the Light and RantWoman hopes her readers understand the sarcasm as frustration, not something personal.

RantWoman thinks the report missed several important details. Why oh why didn’t the former clerk throw in “we were really baffled because RantWoman came to us trying to talk about easy ways to evaluate app accessibility, but we had no idea what she was talking about and we are glad she was led to ask how she came across. But still, please add our voice to the RantWoman should just stay away from Business Meeting” crowd. Did the bafflement just not register enough to comment?

Similarly, the Care and Accountability committee might have enhanced its contribution to these minutes by saying something like “Our eyes just glazed over when RantWoman tried to speak to us of accessible documents or why a Clerk might benefit from observing blind people in Meetings. RantWoman even spent a chunk of time on this topic in a committee meeting and our eyes glazed over so please add our names to…

But no. Nary a word about topics that are HUGE in RantWoman’s life! Can anyone imagine, in the face of such huge culture gaps alone, why RantWoman is just not going casually to sign onto whatever rattles out of others’ heads?

 

“…crazy stuff on blog…”

Fair enough to muse about people who are curt to RantWoman on phone, do not want to receive email, commit giant lapses of language in person and then wonder why RantWoman stashes her exasperation on her blog. RantWoman would love a sense of a different path and would not mind having enough confidence in … to see whether someone else could maybe help. In the meantime, readers who feel seen and do not like the view are invited to reconsider need to commit…

Go talk to your therapist

RantWoman, are you talking to… about…?

1.   RantWoman has the problem she knows other therapy clients have of the really important stuff spilling out five minutes before the end of the session.

2.   RantWoman really needs to see whether her therapist would find it worthwhile to get into the provider network that could help RantWoman pay more than the bottom of the sliding scale out of pocket.

3.   Besides money, RantWoman really cannot deal with too many therapy appointments and really needs the space between sessions to process the work.

4.   RantWoman IS actually talking to her therapist about the issues underlying… RantWoman has both sent at least one email to this point and grasped that possibly others get some of what is going on. Some of it.

That has to be enough, possibly more than enough for today.

In Light and faithfulness.

RantWoman

Stable? Agreed? MInutes?

Welcome to blogging while blind.
Substitute content due soon.

Substitute content because this item got posted the first time with extraneous content because RantWoman was sloppy about editing and did not do one last roll through with the screen reader before posting.

RantWoman is seasoning a leading: moments where RantWoman has tried to express gratitude, moments where RantWoman has tried to articulate important points are either specifically absent from minutes “RantWoman spoke at length” but not a dang thing about what RantWoman said)  or lost in a zone which MAY be partly attributable to unclear presentation.

In any case, since many points important to RantWoman are absent from minutes, RantWoman is permitting herself the option of not believing a thing written in minutes. RantWoman is also giving herself the option of simply accepting minutes as DATA. RantWoman recognizes that taking minutes is hard work. If Friends are not supposed to “speak at length” about topics that may be unfamiliar to everyone especially the Recording Clerk, RantWoman thinks it might be entirely reasonable in support of making the Recording Clerk’s job easier for the Recording Clerk and the proposed Ad Hoc Committee on Disability Awareness specifically to instruct the committee which includes two past recording clerks, the  current recording clerk, and other past or possibly future recording clerks to spend some time specifically on concepts and what is or is not reflected in past minutes as demonstrated by minutes, by RantWoman’s blog such as it is any use or by Friends’ memories.

RantWoman is aware the above paragraph needs editing. Hold the problem in the Light because RantWoman wants to interact with another piece of data. RantWoman should search, open some files and quote verbatim, but RantWoman’s memory is that the complaint is basically as follows:

“We never felt like we had a stable agreement and then RantWoman goes and writes weird stuff on her blog.”

RantWoman says all over her blog that she is testing, that there are wonky eyeballs….

As far as agreements, could the problem possibly be:

            Everyone throws things together in slapdash fashion, does not get documents to RantWoman or does not put things in writing so everyone can verify and review, and then all nods in agreement before RantWoman can even get recognized to speak? As data in support of this point, RantWoman appreciates acknowledgment in a Business Meeting awhile ago that yes, many people besides RantWoman appreciate having the Business Meeting Materials emailed out in advance.

            Stuff does muddle out of RantWoman’s head on the way home. Sometimes this is conversation in a car. Sometimes it is bus muddle. RantWoman notes one recent moment where some seasoning by email on a short timeline MIGHT have been desirable and is happy to take responsibility for not specifically asking about Friends’ willingness to do that.

Here in terms of experience, RantWoman is happy to file: This is in reference to

         Long ago service on a certain committee

         The care and Accountability Committee’s efforts to try to get RantWoman to agree to things without interacting with whether RantWoman in fact CAN let alone agrees she is called to do as asked.

            The Current minute on Common Understandings.  God in his / her peculiar wisdom keeps sending people of widely varying abilities and disabilities to earth and telling the to figure out how to get along. RantWoman does not find said minute conducive to getting along. To cite just one example, the thing about “Do not speak at length.” What if the message from God is lengthy??? What if it challenges people’s images of themselves or of some hard reality?

RantWoman is seasoning all of these points. RantWoman has made a number of important observations about many different topics in email. Recently minutes are all about how difficult RantWoman is and not about important points of relevance to many parts of Meeting life. If RantWoman saw in minutes even one scintilla of evidence that others are thinking about and resonate with RantWoman’s concerns, RantWoman might be clear that the Meeting does not need the information she is trying to provide. RantWoman is aware of a sense of help not asked for, help people do not appear to think they need.

And RantWoman is going to stop here and MAYBE work in time on her other blog for a #SuckItAbleism about straw bans, ocean pollution, and making a difference.

Thank you in advance for holding in the Light as you read. RantWoman at the moment can hold in the light more expeditiously than she can edit.

Presence Pronouns Color

Meditations after pronouns

 

…standard RantWoman pronouncement …”pronouns are an essay question…”

 

“RantWoman, I identify as non-binary. I feel erased when you say  that.”

 

“Friend, thank you for telling me. I do not mean to make you feel erased. I mean this as a gesture of inclusion. I am sorry my needing to speak my Truth makes you feel erased. What can we do to hold this difficulty for now?”
 

Meditations after a car ride home

Remember this memorial?

 

https://rantwomanrsof.blogspot.com/2011/07/agnes-schmoe.html

 

Paraphrasing slightly, RantWoman we all know why you did it but we were a little embarrassed / distressed..

Present and Insufferable

RantWoman has been thinking about presence and visibility of “people of color,” People of European descent,” people who everyone assumes are white but are not, people who have people of color in their extended families.

 

(RantWoman, STOP. That is enough categories for now. Not really, but )

 

Then in the weird logic of Hold in the Light RantWoman’s soul reached out toward the people of color in her extended family. It is family so LIMITED detail but consider:

https://rantwomanrsof.blogspot.com/2015/01/happy-new-year-lets-talk-about-death.html

 

RantWoman of her own initiative to help her speak of the workshop with her extended family went and looked up some resources in other languages. Then RantWoman generously shared the results of her research with the world via this blog post.

 

Can anyone besides RantWoman identify a number of insufferable elements about the presentation?

 

Can anyway besides RantWoman identify some points that might relate to the presence of people of color in the conversation as well.

 

In Light and Faithfulness

 

RantWoman.

 

 

Gender. Restrooms. Signs Presence

RantWoman's body is back from Annual Session, but her brain clearly is not.

Hold in the Light one Meeting discerning about matters of all-gender restrooms. There are matters of cost, plumbing and ventilation; There also seem to be matters of people's comfort levels and some strands of conflict not specific only to the restrooms issue. Please hold in the Light as they discern.

And speaking of all-gender restrooms, on the left is the sign next to the one-person all-gender restroom on the ground floor of RantWoman's dorm. Hover the mouse to read the alt text for RantWoman commentary.

On the right please find the sign Annual Session planners plastered over the single-gender restroom on RantWoman's floor in the dorm. Aside from the presumptuousness of "Nobody Cares,: hover the mouse to see what else was making RantWoman crabby, not crabby enough to outweigh a wonderful Annual Session, but definitely crabby enough that if RantWoman WANTED to live in crabby space... 

The sign on the
All-Gender Restroom
in the Dorm

All floors restrooms declared all-gender with some sign
 in small print about hours
if one wanted single-gender space

In light and faithfulness.
RantWoman