I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas. Only a Hippopotamus will do

It's fourth Sunday of Advent or God present amidst all the messiness of life and family members are gathering 'round with all their giant Personalities and Issues and Holy-day Expectations and Clamor and Fuss and Frazzle and sundry other attractions that RantWoman is more than Bad Friend enough not so secretly to really enjoy, along with some FRUITCAKE. Uh, the fruitcake has not arrived yet.

Sensible Auntie would like to speak of a spirit of giving, of generosity, of thinking of the delights of others.

Sensible Auntie has gotten distracted from such centered efforts by "O Quaker Auntie." O Quaker Auntie is very relieved. Recently on one of the Rant Sister's Sunday parallel journeys to our respective houses of worship Little Sister thrilled the likes of O Quaker Auntie. Little Sister is not actually as charmed by the thought of middle school Nerf War at her house of worship as RantWoman might have suspected.

Okay, and...?

Little Sister further confessed another moment in the world of middle schooler and Nerf weaponry: Irrepressible Nephew knows how to modify the Nerf Blaster,  something RantWoman suspects looks even more like a weapon than ordinary Nerf Ware. In particular, Irrepressible Nephew knows how to modify his Nerf Blaster so that it fires better or something. Bad Auntie, inadvertant setter of less than perfect examples just wants to hide under the bed and really does not want to know more details of this armament modification.

Unfortunately for RantWoman's desire to live in denial, O Quaker Auntie got summoned to a confession that Irrepressible Nephew's school peers greatly esteem this skill. Irrepressible Nephew goes to school in another neighborhood so inorder for Nephew to realize his prowess, a teacher signs off on kids making the exchange at school under the teacher's supervision.

O quaker Auntie is stuck inventorying reasons possibly to hyperventilate. O Quaker Auntie is also meditating upon a number of youngish men she knows who have grown up in the bosom of Quakerdom who have gone off to join the military because they "needed structure." SO FAR O Quaker Auntie is managing to let Irrepressible Nephew and his parents find their own paths about the modified Nerf Weaponry. So far...

Remember Worse Auntie? Bad Auntie sets bad examples unintentionally. Worse Auntie says things like "you're darn right I did that. So?" or "You;re complaining of some or another RantWoman excess. What if RantWoman fears the world actually needs MORE of that very Behavior?"
--put Azalea into the search bar to find one piquant Worse Auntie Moment.

--RantWoman actually thinks maybe the world needs MORE of "Grab the Blind Person and Bless them." This happens all the time to RantWoman; RantWoman can attest that it also happens worse to other blind people. RantWoman thinks that every time this occurs on the way to a Quaker event she should remember to complain and exclaim LOUDLY.  RantWoman thinks she should do this for three reasons:

1. RantWoman has perhaps been remiss in taking really a VERY long time to start complaining of this in her life. Ask RantWoman if you really want timeline.

2. Maybe other people who hear RantWoman ranting will learn that this behavior is insane and even more optimistically that they too could speak up when they observe someone doing this or other behavioral cousins such as Grab the Blind Person and Drag them into traffic, Grab the Blind Person and Argue with them about walking route in traffic, or worst of all Grab the Blind Person and Impose someone else's physical needs on the Blind Person's choices.

3. MAYBE if RantWoman talks enough about her range of experiences, people will figure out which just have to be held in the Light and which really, really need more intervention and even immediate  intervention.

Well, maybe

--RantWoman thinks maybe service dogs is another area the world needs MORE, not less of. For LOTS of conversations, a service dog is a service dog is a service dog and the human handler is the embodiment of responsible animal stewardship. In reality:

1. Not every blind person takes appropriate care of their companions; RantWoman has been dreading the possibility of meeting one such challenged blind person.

2.  LOTS of people get their doctors to certify that it will be beneficial to live with an animal and then drag the animal everywhere, whether or not the dog gives even faint impression of finding this enjoyable. O Quaker Auntie is spending a good bit of time being pet furniture around one such creature!

3, Another RantWoman pet peeve, no matter how many certifications an animal has: feeding the dog human food and worse feeding the dog at the table.

4. And this is not even to mention intercultural issues and problems for people expected to help service dogs and their handlers get around even if the people themselves have dog-related PTSD.

Anyway, rather than go on about service chickens a service lizard, and the occasional service python, service emu or service gecko, even Worse Auntie is TRYING to get into the holiday spirit. In fact, Worse Auntie is just thinking about this fabulous hit:

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Only a hippopotamus will do.
http://youtu.be/7oOzszFIBcE
warning: closing trailer contains just SCANDALOUS language.

Worse Auntie also notes this historical example of communication from RantMom, should RantWoman ever have wandered near the idea of asking for a hippopotamus for Christmas:
RantWoman this is your mother. You will be getting a sweater. And you will write your grandmother a thank you letter!