Remembering Judy K

 Memo to people new to Quakerism: going to memorials, even for people you barely know, can be a really rich way of learning both about the powerful examples among people one is worshipping with and about the functions of a community in caring for its members.

RantWoman is reflecting on a memorial for Judy K. RantWoman is clear not to use her full name. At the memorial RantWoman learned details of Judy K's biography that probably mean her life will be written up more comprehensively in other fora. What RantWoman has to say here is only partly about Judy K and as much gratitude for people able to care for an support her. RantWoman arrived late and missed the reading of the memorial minute so RantWoman is cautious about the risk of getting things wrong.

RantWoman is not sure when Judy K appeared in Seattle. She is a longtime friend of a weighty Friend and has a daughter somewhere near. Judy was a Quaker early in life and then her journey took her other places including being the only woman in her class at the Yale school of Divinity. Judy did not want to talk much of that experience. 

RantWoman knew Judy K from Adult Religious Education. RantWoman always had a sense there might be much to draw out but that RantWoman was not succeeding in doing so. For instance, at one point Judy commented that she wished there were more "Religious" in Adult Religious Education. RantWoman had no idea even who to talk to about that concern. Transportation issues also weighed in time available for conversation.

Friends spoke of Judy needing a care committee. Because she did not know many people well, Friends commented about her discernment in identifying people to ask to serve. 

Judy lived at first at a retirement community some distance from Meeting. Friends who lived further away picked her up on their way to Meeting; when they moved into the city she paid to have someone else drive her to and from Meeting. Judy later moved to a different facility and the pandemic intervened.

RantWoman learned that even a cordless phone was more technology than Judy had any interest in.  Some facilities had staff that helped people make electronic connections during all the lockdowns when almost no one could visit retirement communities except for a tiny number of extreme situations. RantWoman had already spoken when pandemic connections came up. RantWoman celebrates Friends who treasured phone connections. RantWoman also managed to avoid blurting out anything esoteric about ways to include even the most technologically hesitant in Zoom meetings.

RantWoman left the memorial with appreciation for the closer circles of care. Home-baked brownies also mattered.

RantWoman still has Things On Her Mind. They are for another time.

Wait: The Google is a wonderful thing, AND RantWoman is even clearer about care with names.

Seattle Times Obituary