The After Party

Apparently there were seveeral voices standing aside, including one or more who might have been newcomers and one weighty elder. RantWoman THANKS THEM for being faithul to their light.

News flash: non-members serve on committees all the time. If Meeting for Business had gotten the Adhoc Committee on Disabilities committee created BEFORE releasing RantWoman from membership, RantWoman would be less clear about....

Releasing RantWoman from membership? Standing aside?.

It's not like timing or multiple forms of silencing were already making it pretty clear that no one wanted to hear from RantWoman in the first place.

Digression: Bless RantWoman's therapist's heart. Therapist was even more categorical than RantWoman about a sloppy use of mental health terminology issue. To make matters worse, therapist also said "RantWoman you stand up for people who can't so take care of yourself"  Dang. Couldn't we just go back to processing ... from childhood and not wander mentally into
 everyone else's ...?

 Isolated Friend?

TO REPEAT: RantWoman does NOT speak for the whole Religious Society of Friends. The model is Blog as Quaker journal. That means there is news of events of Interest to RantWoman. There are the compostings of RantWoman's soul. and there are unquestionably many problematic moments, particularly if by problematic part of the story is that Quakers are HUMANS and therefore have the same problems and challenges as other humans who might or might not be Quakers. Think only Medium Horrible on the #DisabilityInChurch index.

RantWoman is finding herself grateful for blog as documentation. RantWoman herself is stunnd about the clarity of some recent posts. Not necessarily this one. Hold that problem in the Light.

For the record, RantWoman wstill considers herself a Quaker and will be taking steps to ensure that connections remain.

RantWoman will also be taking other steps, steps that DO NOT involve violence and that RantWoman will undertake in a spirit of donating her body or at least some mental energy to science as in walkign through  related partly to another hat RantWoman has been wearing....

Connections?

RantWoman was faithful to her Light.

Some around RantWoman think "god made me do it" is all about oppression and non-consent and abuse. RantWoman is HAPPY to go on about how God made Me Do it is unquestionably problematic. Plus except for Barclay RantWoman has not read much of early Quaker take on "God made me do it." RantWoman has the impression that there was a hell of a lot of "God made me do it" about things like refusing Hat honor and oaths.

RantWoman has been getting all biblical lately about privilege, the testimony on Equality and Thou shalt have no Gods before me"

Plus there is that part from the Baptists of RantWoman's youth about Communion: this is god's table, not mine to invite or deny. RantWoman in meeting process geek mode thinks that can play out several ways. RantWoman in more theist than average for her Meeting mode can either go on about communion and shared spiritual experience or find the voices willing to say the phrase bizarre cannibalistic ritual.

RantWoman, no cannibalism in Business Meeting, PLEASE.

Yeah, yeah, and we are also hoping RantWoman will not be needing TOO much of her long ago experience with Direct Action.

But What actually did Faithful to RantWoman's Light mean besides that God keeps sending disabled people into a world that finds them challenging, has difficulty finding that of God in...?

RantWoman went to early worship. RantWoman had handouts. RantWoman delivered them herself rather than have them snatched up by the clerk as happened last time RantWoman brought handouts. RantWoman also heard invitation from God differently from what was written in previous minutes. RantWoman, HORRORS, remained in worship past the time she Meeting for Business  previously Requested she leave. Think Go'ds table, not Business Meeting's to invite or deny.

But RantWoman are you going to leave?

I am going to be faithful to my Light I do not know waht that will look like.

Clerk: RantWoman, if you don't leave we will have the meeting elsewhere. So much for Quaker discernment?

RantWoman knew there was one time-sensitive item on the agenda.

But RantWoman there is a whole Pendle Hill pamphlet on a similar ....

Yes, but it's God's table and RantWoman remains in a spirit of love.

The Clerk used the mic (hallelujah, the mic was there!) and LOUDLY announced that RantWoman was specifically not invited according to Meeting for Business. RantWoman rose to speak and of course no one brought her the mic. RantWoman has strong lungs

RantWoman spoke of Baptists and God's table to invite and, RantWoman is PRETTY sure, of God sending disabled people into the world whether they are invited or not..

But RantWoman are you going to leave?

I am going to be faithful to my Light I do not know waht that will look like.

The room rose and did their back to speak silence thing. RantWoman's memory that when the Stand and turns backs for silence thing happens, chances are depressingly high that the person the crowd hopes to silence has some kind of a disability.

But RantWoman are you going to leave?

I will leave when I am clear to leave.

RantWoman sat in worship for a time with DEEP gratitude for a Friend who offered to accompany her.

 RantWoman became clear to leave.

To repeat, there were multiple voices standing aside.

The words January and memorials and Scrabble are on point.

RantWoman is curious what of all this will appear in minutes.

RantWoman thanks Friends for a post event conference call advising her of the decision. The Clerk said she flet loved and trusted and like it was a gathered meeting.

How very nice.

The clerk also congratulated RantWoman about seeming calmer in recent weeks. The Clerk opined that maybe RantWoman really CAN control her behavior. Or perhaps RantWoman's behavior improved because of the threat of releasing her from membership. RantWoman is scratching her head about that particularly given RantWoman's clear call on penalty of release to acknowledge God's invitation to bring RantWoman's voice to the conversation. Honey, you KNOW you have a problem if RantWoman is going to continue to speak in spite of..

 RantWoman does not quite know how to receive this "comnpliment." RantWoman would more credit sense of HUGE prgress and validation about getting the Ad Hoc Committee on Disabilities created, progress if one does not count the ball repeatedly getting kicked down the road. .

For the record, recent Adult Religious Education has also been rich.

Further, for RantWoman's trouble and schedule upheavals, RantWoman got to sit on two blind people conference calls.

The first was smart  blind people talking about financial controls for an organization that does not have a lot of money. The voices were gloriously cheerful. They were tech savvy. They are doing coold activities and RantWoman did not add anything to her plate except listening and upholding.

The second was the blind prayer warriors VERY happy to welcome RantWoman on her first time on the call.,The prayer warriors are about what RantWoman expected about theologically multilingual God language and prayer worthy topics: jobs, health issues, quest for a church building.There was one firece and empathetic item related to substance abuse issues. The WOW was hearing accents from all over the country attached to names, hearing appreciations all around including fans of RantWoman and likewise fan vibes from RantWoman for the young women who convenes the calls and for her mother who was also on the call. Go Prayer Warriors.