New Year Tidings

RantWoman sincerely wishes all her readers, admirers, Friends who click here by accident and anyone else vaguely a hanger-on of this blog a happy new year full of joy, peace, spiritual growth, love, good health, nourishing witness, vibrant community, and whatever diversions delight you. Anyone happy to leave things at that is invited to do so and click away NOW!



























































Anyone with a taste for Quaker telenovela, continuing revelation, Bad Friends, or RantWoman's entourage of alter egos is invited to continue reading.












































If you made it this far and are still reading, it's YOUR choice. DO NOT say RantWoman did not warn you, invite you to come back at another time, attempt to ameliorate some downsides of electronic communications.... If you are wondering why the heck RantWoman is presenting things as she does, she promises a separate tirade about email.





About three days into a average Invasion of the Grandchildren, the Rev. RantGranddad would start to murmur things like "Go away so you can come back." RantWoman is at that point. What with multiple appearances of Bad Auntie and Worse Auntie, and various other seething family matters, RantWoman has had an especially festive spell of holiday restimulation, thankfully seasoned by now more than one "yucky topic, good conversation" event. Even worse, the bad economy and sundry upheavals mean Bad Auntie and Worse Auntie may be crashing on RantWoman's couch for awhile.


This is a problem. For one thing, RantWoman does not have a couch, and Sensible Auntie is likely to have her hands full if the entourage is underslept. For another, RantWoman has gotten so giddy with the extra few minutes / day of daylight each day since the solstice that she is kind of quaking in the corner murmuring over and over "I am to be true to the Light I am given." RantWoman is sparklingly clear she is to stay where she is, but is also quite clear that this may be a bumpy ride for awhile.


RantWoman got eldered the other night about use of email in connection with a Meeting role. RantWoman promises a separate tirade about email. RantWoman will do what she can in her blog, but even RantWoman has standards about what should or should not be public. That, along with a desire to SEASON material is one of the major POINTS of RantWoman's use of email in the first place. That and accessibility, but as RantWoman said another post may be in order.



The point is, RantWoman did not repeat some points she has previously presented in email. RantWoman did NOT promise not to use email. In fact, RantWoman THINKS she has been taking all kinds of steps to give people CHOICES about how to interact. RantWoman did not say what Worse Auntie thinks: if RantWoman gives you multiple clues as to whether something is urgent or not and multiple options to avoid getting sucked in immediately AND you still cannot interact with the measures RantWoman is offering, then DO NOT BLAME RANTWOMAN.




The conversation did not engage with any ofRantWoman's concerns and RantWoman did NOT unite with the predominant point of view. When Sensible Auntie is on the scene, RantWoman can hear the part about "we do not know how to deal." Unfortunately, when "we don't know how to deal," turns into "therefore don't send," "shut up," or "learn to season yourself" Worse Auntie crashes onto the scene and insists there are points that Friends NEED to deal with, that spiritual concerns do not always show up in tidy, already-seasoned bundles, and that it's the job of certain committees to season!


Here RantWoman must present other elements of her background. RantWoman, as previously mentioned, is a bit of a language geek. RantWoman is the sort of person who tests processes by for example punching the line to get customer service information in languages she speaks just to test that part of the customer service package.



There is a language test element of RantWoman's story. RantWoman in one of the offending emails mentioned a challenge in RantWoman's life: RantWoman very occasionally gets so upset she cannot talk and uses email instead. Those who know RantWoman in person may find this surprising. Those who know RantWoman only by the meditations of her heart and the torrents of words off her keyboard may wonder how it is that RantWoman could be at a loss for words. RantWoman herself is peculiarly grateful to have encountered enough trauma-recovery literature to have language for this problem: trauma reaction.


RantWoman can outline some of the whys, the dynamics of the issue, but functionally the whys are irrelevant, an unhelpful metaphysical question RantWoman gets to discuss regularly with a mental health professional. The point is the problem exists, and some circumstances can make it worse. RantWoman has been getting a lot of messages by email and in person that feel to RantWoman, when RantWoman feels heard at all, too much like "shut up" including several about the topics RantWoman thinks need attention. These topics exist in RantWoman's mind right next to the trauma reaction landmines. RantWoman has not detected anyone else in the vicinity with language to make the "trauma response" connection. If anyone else has made the connection....





RantWoman was all set to be thoroughly peeved about this problem--until that flock of guardian angels currently on duty showed up--AGAIN. Worse Auntie said, well, let people experience the reaction, with or without the language to deal: at some point the experience might prove useful if, say, they have the misfortune to encounter much worse trauma reactions. Sensible Auntie just says "Breathe, Breathe, now embrace it as another opening."


RantWoman apologizes to those who, even after 18+ years of worshipping alongside RantWoman do not realize RantWoman HAS trauma reactions. RantWoman is in fact DEEPLY grateful to her community for space to sort some of this out without having to talk. RantWoman does not know whether to blame / credit Bad Auntie or Worse Auntie for her leading to let others be present with the trauma reactions problem just now.



In any case, RantWoman must take the results as an opening, a way to come at some discussions about what does it mean to walk alongside survivors of abuse, what does it mean that we are all ministers of God? RantWoman finds herself meditating here about the difference in Quaker pastoral care terms between any ordinary friend and Friends with certain professional qualifications and letters behind their names: Friends with assorted letters behind their names are allowed to worship in reticence, not obliged in any direction. One of the miracles of RantWoman's experience with Quakerism is the heal inwardly / heal the world around you dynamic.


RantWoman has, a time or two in the past, been the sort of obstreperous civilly disobedient who has pointedly NOT promised, say to a federal judge to refrain from something the federal judge with power over RantWoman's life and liberty wanted her to promise.


Present-day RantWoman thinks two things about this, besides that it is indeed a Quakerly experience: almost any large-city Friends Meeting should have at least one person like RantWoman with similar experiences on its Worship and Ministry Committee. RantWoman suspects this frame of reference may not exactly be soothing to others on Worship and Ministry. RantWoman wants to assure all concerned that for the time being, RantWoman is REALLY grateful to be reading Barclay, helping with Popcorn Patrol at Meeting for Worship and cutting WAY back on obstreperous behavior before federal judges.


RantWoman is also VERY humble about the challenges of current peace begins right before our noses projects.

Happy Bleeping New Year to All!