Carolyn Hax speaks to RantWoman's condition.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/carolyn-hax-after-an-abusive-marriage-she-has-the-right-to-avoid-the-ex-at-a-wedding/2014/03/09/776a0dc2-9f10-11e3-9ba6-800d1192d08b_story.html

RantWoman is meditating about the formulation that ABUSE conditions one to poor self-care and not thinking of one's own safety boundaries. RantWoman does not dispute the point as far as abuse but does note that other dynamics also condition one to put others ahead of oneself.