Saturday, September 8, 2012

Crockery, Undercaffeinated

In the realm of Hospitality Committee equals Pastoral Care Plus Knives and Hot Liquids, RantWoman turns her Inner Blowtorch to the next iteration of signups to make coffee. RantWoman humbly does NOT apologize for tending to the fabric of her community through her particularly peculiar form of humble service.

Eye Roller Friend: "Here is an OPPORTUNITY to do the right thing and increase your self-esteem."

RantWoman: "If my self-esteem were any larger I would have trouble getting it out the door." Right now RantWoman is also pleading lame excuses like an arm in a cast. Sigh!

Alack. The need to solicit signups persists and RantWoman, aka big and Scary Legally Blind Lady is thinking of having a go at it:

RantWoman: "Eye Roller Friend here has tried positive motivation. If that does not work, I am here to scare you!"

--Big and Scary Legally Blind Lady approaching with the coffee signups clipboard: Kinda scary.

--Big, Scary Legally Blind -and Undercaffeinated--Lady playing cheerleader. "You can do it! Really You can!: Scarier. --What should really scare you is Big Scary Legally Blind Lady plowing around room behind coffee cart full of crockery and scalding liquids. So Hear the call of community! PLEASE sign up to make coffee and help keep Big Scary Legally Blind Lady away from too much crockery!

It could work. Really it could.

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