RantWoman's Sunday tending of her spiritual life included lively discussion catalyzed by Unconditional Love Friend during Adult Education. If RantWoman had been more attentive she might have an author to attach to Unconditional Love Friend's line of thinking. RantWoman instead latched onto energetic comments from Righteous Anger Friend.
Righteous Anger Friend is Friend in the process of Being Convinced. This means he often has great and provocative questions. Plus he came to the west coast from New Jersey so RantWoman finds him somehow easy to relate to. Plus RantWoman definitely hopes to still be banging away at big questions as energetically as Righteous Anger Friend does by the time she gets to be his age. This week Righteous Anger Friend was exercised about something he had read in the New York Times of Mormons' treatment of native American children.
Careful, thought RantWoman, them's mah peeps you talking about. Well, them's a lot of RantMom's Mormon cousins. RantWoman actually has no basis for any opinion about her distant relatives' views. Also, RantWoman figures Mormons probably do NOT have a monopoly on ill-treatment of Native Americans, but the clock ran out on Adult Ed before that thread went anywhere.
Righteous Anger Friend demurred seriously about unconditional love in this situation. Friends spoke of Rufus Jones' party meeting with Nazis in the 1930's and immediately settling into worship after the meeting. RantWoman remembers reading also of an early Quaker speaking to that of God in Oliver Cromwell. RantWoman is doing well to stay centered in connection with Meeting for Worship.
The star of RantWoman's current ruminations: Eye Roller Friend. Eye Roller Friend currently has a very badly seasoned gift of prophesy: the second almost any Friend rises to speak during Meeting for worship, Eye Roller Friend begins to clear his throat, fidget, and roll his eyes so loudly that a legally blind RantWoman can detect it from across the room.
RantWoman admits she SOMETIMES finds this gift helpful in summoning attention to an impending message. RantWoman considerably more frequently has the same experience lots of other Friends have: Friend, how on earth is it that you know the message will distress you even before a word is uttered? Friend, could you possibly be any ruder if you tried? Friend, could thee please, pretty please pray to whatever you call the Divine for concise words to substitute for the out-of-control behaviors and name your distress, preferably AFTER others have delivered of their messages? RantWoman knows that when you and the Divine get actual words lined up, there is much interesting seeking, much to be esteemed, but your other out-of-control behaviors are blowing away all of that. We value your presence; we are decidedly do NOT unite with your behavior and we grow tired after years of laboring with you about it!
Okay, RantWoman gets to be true to the Light she is given: some Friends DO tend to receive the same message repeatedly with only slight variations. RantWoman, speaking only for herself finds her reaction to this phenomenon highly variable. For instance, RantWoman forgives one of Meeting's gardener Friends of this sin on a regular basis.
RantWoman occasionally feels fed by messages from this Friend, and greatly esteems this Friend for other reasons. What makes RantWoman able to forgive really a lot, though, is the way Gardener Friend speaks of RantWoman's own occasional messages: Gardener Friend regularly complains that she has trouble hearing RantWoman but that she usually likes and really wants to hear RantWoman's messages. RantWoman is so humbled by these words that she takes in all such comments and summons every whisper of elocution practice she has ever encountered AND refrains from grumbling about worship room acoustics and all the Friends among us dealing with hearing loss.
RantWoman is also meditating about a conversation she had in the Feminazi Bitch subdialect with one Friend about repetitiveness in another's ministry. RantWoman notes that the most recent occasion when the latter Friend offered spoken ministry, there was substantial to RantWoman's ear improvement. RantWoman historically has found rather a lot of said Friend and rather less of God in that Friend's messages. RantWoman found herself grateful both for the Feminazi Bitch to Quakerese translation that finally came to her and for the appearance in that Friend's message at last of elements where, what could be predicted based on past messages notwithstanding, RantWoman could hear the workings of God. In other words, despite intermittent quest for concepts such as prophetic vision, too much prophesy in Meeting for Worship can be, well, too much of a good thing.
This week's attack of Eye Roller Friend prophesy was followed by another message of the form "Who am I to judge?" from Friend who not long ago spoke of logs and specks in people's eyes. This time Who Am I To Judge Friend spoke of feeling judged from many directions. She did not specify which--besides Eye Roller Friend's anticipatory rumblings. Her Bible passages were of the adulteress and "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone." Who Am I to Judge Friend noted that in the story all the would-be stoners dissipated but there was no mention of forgiveness. To RantWoman's ear that indicates that SOMEONE is judging, though RantWoman supposes one can go find other passages for apologizing before God.
RantWoman does not remember other spells of Eye Roller Friend prophesy THIS time. Still, RantWoman is seasoning how more clearly to invite Eye Roller Friend into the community dialogue with the Divine that is well-covered worship. RantWoman is not doing so well about suggested role models. Consider:
Seriously Weighty Friend, deceased a few years. Seriously Weighty Friend said sometimes in worship her mind was "like a hummingbird on a holiday" even though seriously weighty things regularly emerged from such holidays.
RantWoman, aka the clerk of the Committee on Doing Sudoku in Meeting for Worship Committee over at the Association of Bad Friends. Enough said?
Then there would be Scoreboard Friend. Scoreboard Friend has confessed to RantWoman that he and a long deceased companion used, after worship, to rate messages as if there were a giant stadium scoreboard. RantWoman has not ascertained whether the scoreboard was one of those Home / Away displays or whether the effect was more like Olympic skating where there are marks both for technical execution and artistry. RantWoman here imagines phrasing such as "Friend, thee was favored, thee was faithful--and WE COULD HEAR YOU." Alas, RantWoman will not be proposing installation of any such anytime soon.
Scoreboard Friend also happens to be Conflict is a Gift from God Friend, only one of several weighty Friends who complain loudly of Eye Roller Friend and cluck of feeling judged in private but who cannot find it in themselves to speak to Eye Roller Friend themselves! RantWoman is seasoning a leading about such Friends. These Friends are well-spoken a good deal of the time. They are weighty presences in our community. And they cannot summon enough centeredness, unconditional love and reverence for that of God in Eye Roller Friend or focus in discerning what Eye Roller Friend's ministry is trying to teach to go speak to him their own darn selves! RantWoman is seasoning leadings about a whole list of people to whom she might make suggestions along this line. Perhaps it is just as well that the RantWoman School of Tact and Diplomacy will be subject to more shared discernment first.
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