Composting the Christmas Spirit?

RantWoman and Dear Friend have been doing too much seasoning of the Compost matter by email, and RantWoman admits that ruminating in her blog may NOT be an improvement. Dear Friend is also recalcitrant about issues to do with even scheduling a next Clearness Committee meeting. Meanwhile, RantWoman has finally assembled several topical resources from her Meeting in electronic format and is looking for topical info from other websites. RantWoman is also TRYING to take a holiday. Well, RantWoman is trying about something but perhaps she should not overspecify what she is trying about.

Dear Friend was previously, months ago the one with bad timing and a spirit of insistence, now it is RantWoman's turn. RantWoman is beset not only by recurring waves of peevishness and vexation, but also by the accumulated fury of the things she has figured out, the burdens of having to relive old hurts from someone else that Dear Friend kept plowing into. Dear Friend FINALLY more or less STOPPED when RantWoman could gasp enough to articulate the problem in those terms. Then there is the tediousness of repeating parts of the story to others for the part of the conversation that involves bigger circles than just RantWoman and Dear Friend, and RantWoman's peculiar general holiday grumbles.



For RantWoman's trouble, RantWoman has an acute sense from conversations with others of the extent to which Dear Friend is probably mortified. RantWoman is also starting to get a sense of reasons this problem is likely to take on telenovela elements regardless of what happens with RantWoman's nomination alone. For the record, RantWoman was JOKING when she previously mentioned telenovelas. On the other hand, episodic, frequently larger than life: if we're all for the spiritual gifts of conflict, are we supposed to LIKE the telenovela meme?

Dear Friend is currently off for several days with his new "in a relationship" companion and RantWoman sincerely, with all her heart, wishes the newly coalescing couple well. RantWoman is seasoning responses to a still steaming shipment of what she characterizes as "reindeer droppings for the spiritual compost heap." On top of this the steaming reindeer droppings are especially redolent and RantWoman cannot quite figure out whether they are serious or some kind of weird joke.

A couple bits of humor from recent emails have landed very oddly, so RantWoman is using her sarcasm filter scrupulously. Well, there is the matter of a parallel universe where RantWoman might refer to her Flogging Bureau, a hypothetical guide called S&M for Dummies possibly being more likely to be available as e-book than some kinds of Quaker literature though for group scenes we probably still definitely need to stick to Faith and Practice, or someone's personal Antichrist. Communications from this universe will have to be available upon request, but RantWoman is trying really, really hard to be centered and prayerful. Well RantWoman is trying.

Dear Friend suggests RantWoman just visit Faith and Practice; RantWoman thinks that is a depressing prospect since what she expects to find is a spectacular list of ways both she and Dear Friend have fallen short. RantWoman still means to visit our book of discipline, but maybe she will cross link with blog items and especially look for language of transformation, something she suspects her Yearly Meeting's Faith and Practice may be thinner on than others'.

RantWoman is detecting evidence of a psychiatric issue that RantWoman REALLY does not have the right letters behind her name to apply correctly but does find herself wondering about based on experience with others. This causes RantWoman a pang; RantWoman has NO problems admitting this is as much for her own flair for attracting such folk as for all the pangs Dear Friend is probably having. When RantWoman manages to be grounded and centered, the possible psychiatric issue makes it much easier not to take some things personally. RantWoman is not doing so well about grounded and centered. Ewwww.

Add to this some other gender-based conversational dynamics RantWoman is glad to see seasoned in the more generalized case on another blog. RantWoman suspects based on numerous communications that Dear Friend will not necessarily get the point on his own behalf. However, RantWoman is enough of a feminazi busybody to think it would be ducky if Dear Friend at least tiptoed near associated topics on behalf of his own maturing daughter.

Other circumstances aligned to cause RantWoman to offer another Friend some info related to the compost matter and specifically the numerous ways both positive and extremely difficult that Dear Friend reminds RantWoman of her long-deceased father. RantWoman is feeling her guts churn about the ease with which Dear Friend plowed into the topic when 5 years of work with mental health practitioners has gotten nowhere near it. Double Ewwwww. Triple Ewwww if you count what to RantWoman at least seem like multiple clear messages to Dear Friend about considering whether he is the right messenger and whether others might convey his messages with less baggage.

RantWoman is all for continuing revelation and being careful of the reputations of others but another Friend is actually quite scathing and categorical about recurring elements on one side. This Friend does not know RantWoman well enough to recognize recurring elements for RantWoman too. On the other hand, RantWoman freely admits a certain "mad at God" aspect of her own reaction. RantWoman KNOWS she is supposed to count her blessings on MANY fronts including trauma history, but RantWoman thinks she keeps trying to tell God that her own miseries are already more than enough for her. The mad at God part comes with the persistence of several interactions.

Merry Blipping Christmas all!