Jana, and not at a memorial

First Jana was in Meeting for Worship today, with a walker instead of a wheelchair. Well, Jana was in worship; the gods of scheduling ruling RantWoman's life meant she herself arrived only after worship and saw Jana briefly in the throng of people wanting to wish her well and hearing more tales of who was watching over which episodes at the hospital.

RantWoman talked more with Warren. Warren keeps agreeing to Quaker service and then realizing he cannot serve right now. RantWoman is very, very, very tender about how much both his and Jana's lives have changed and will be continuing firmly to hold both of them in the Light. Enough said.

Warren and Jana decided they probably would not stay for a memorial later in the afternoon. Jana felt like her presence might create another focus besides the deceased. RantWoman has complicated thoughts about this.

One of the peculiar joys of memorials is seeing people one has not seen in a great while, including people who have recently been in the hospital and people who have come to town from far away. RantWoman knows Jana probably knows many of the arriving mourners, and actually better than RantWoman. RantWoman suspects that Jana is more of an extrovert actually than RantWoman is. RantWoman tends to find big crowds overwhelming and tires quickly of hubbub. RantWoman thinks in this event, there was plenty of hubbub all around and Jana would not have been an undue focus just because so much else was going on too. However, the point about hubbub being tiring still holds.RantWoman is getting ahead of herself.

RantWoman has been in a historically-themed, rolling of the generations pensive mood ever since she heard all the different first experience at UFM moments during the introductory go-around at the Year of Discernment retreat. This--and the opportunity to see numerous people RantWoman knows but rarely sees-- apparently is plenty to draw RantWoman to a memorial for a much-loved Friend RantWoman always got a positive vibe from but rarely spoke to while alive.


Our Meeting has several spinoff Meetings; this Friend was a member of the largest such in the immediate Seattle area. RantWoman found herself kind of enjoying the vibe of another large meeting fluttering about and doing a function. RantWoman also found herself grateful that our Meeting's space is a resource for many Friends. RantWoman even managed to speak to a couple people she did not previously know and will hopefully retain names. Hopefully, but RantWoman does not expect to overdo it.

For a few different reasons not only related to the conflict with Dear Friend RantWoman has found herself paying attention to form and details of connecting and specifically Quaker practices. Memorials, especially memorials where the deceased had life in many circles, are one of those moments where Friends are sort of on display, curiosity for outsiders. RantWoman thus took particular note of the clear statement in the program and by the person who opened worship of thoughts about worship and sharing messages.


The gist of her thoughts: Silent waiting. Even uncomforably silent. a message? for you alone? for someone else at another time? for the whole Meeting for Worship? RantWoman found herself centered in the simple direct guidance of the thoughts. The deceased was much beloved and worship assuredly did not want for messages.