To get things
started, this article from Friends’ Journal speaks to RantWoman’s condition
RantWoman encourages readers to digest the comments below;
RantWoman is unclear about some points on her mind and WILL encourage Friends
to come back to the articles above.
The Opening Paragraphs of the March 8 2020 DRAFT State of Society report.
Our Meeting’s collective spirit still reverberates
from the impact of a difficult decision that we made in October. After laboring
with a Friend’s increasingly disorderly conduct over the course of several
years, the Meeting chose to lay down their membership. Three Friends were
recorded as standing aside. In order to create the necessary space to heal and
to renew our community, the Meeting also approved a minute to restrict this
Friend from our campus and activities, with the exception of Memorial Meetings.
The minute set forth that this restriction would not be reconsidered before
January 2021.
We made the decision with solemnity, and in
recognition that an involuntary termination of membership had never before
taken place at UFM; nor, to our knowledge, had it taken place in the history of
NPYM. This Friend had been a member for over twenty years. Finding a way
forward, for many, felt like separating a piece of our heart.
In the months after this momentous decision, we have
been able to tend once again to each other and other issues. Many Friends are
participating on one or more of eleven Care Committees, and some are on
Clearness Committees. We were able to hold a community building retreat in
February of the new year, and have planned two workshops on end of life
decision making and on setting limits that can be used to manage conflict.
Mid-week evening worship was suspended in the fall, but has recently resumed on
first and third Wednesdays at 1:00 pm, preceded by a brown-bag lunch.
[Speaking of
disability, which readers may not realize yet is a thing, 11 care committees?
GOOD THING except care committees frequently involve something to do with
disability. So good for folks for involvement but what might be said to speak
of weaving that dimension of reality into the fabric of community life? Because
why should RantWoman be the sole lightning rod for community discomfort related
to disability? RantWOMAN? Disability??? Read on!]
[Speaking of clearness committees, note reference below to one instance of RantWoman and the term Clearness committee. RantWoman tartly notes: when the Care and Accountability committee over and over wanted to complain nebulously on behalf of others, RantWoman repeatedly asked for clearness committees with the individuals concerned. RantWoman truly has no way of knowing which issues are disability related and which issues are something RantWoman really, really MIGHT be able to do something about. Usually, when a person with a disability or really anyone asks for help, the first rule of thumb should be to provide the help asked for. If RantWoman asks for clearness committees, clearness committees should happen as well for RantWoman as they are reported for others here. If that is not the case, it is reasonable to ask why.]
[The last 3
events mentioned above have all been postponed indefinitely due to public
health orders in connection with the Corona Virus pandemic. Postponement has nothing to do with whether or not these events are urgently topical!]
RantWoman
usually does the best she can to respect the point of view of the Friends who
draft the State of Society report. RantWoman also recognizes that it might be
better manners to address the Friends who drafted the report directly and to
allow them to season an alternative version before plastering her perspective
all over the internet. Let’s just say RantWoman is a work in progress on the
tact and diplomacy front and the whole circus drama needs to be held in the
Light including some facts not known, as far as RantWoman knows, to the
drafters of the State of Society.
RantWoman
notes the put off further action until January 2021 provision COULD be amended
by a subsequent Meeting For Business. RantWoman reiterates that she is called to be faithful to her Light and cannot predict what that might look like; RantWoman also notes a number of practical concerns.. RantWoman is unclear who might be called
to suggest this or which actions could be asked for. There are MANY reasonable
accommodations requests lurking in this narrative. In a normal workplace,
expecting someone to wait a whole year to have reasonable accommodations
requests addressed would be unacceptable. RantWoman recognizes that there is a
legal thicket involved in this line of thinking. However, if one strives to
live by a single standard of truth, working with reasonable accommodations
requests in a timely way would seem to be on point.
RantWoman is
also sitting with “…finding a way forward…separating a piece of our heart…”
RantWoman is finding it hard not just to blurt out: “RantWoman has been trying
to tell you things that matter and things that would help for YEARS. RantWoman
is sorry you are in pain now, but maybe if Friends took to heart some of
RantWoman’s concerns there mighty maybe possibly be a lot less pain going
around!”
RantWoman
would also like to know whether anyone else besides RantWoman considers the ban
on participation in anything but memorials just ghoulish. What about before
people die? What about all the people in the community who presumably are not
expected to die anytime soon? Do they REALLY want to send out a State of
Society report that reads to RantWoman like “Well we got rid of that pesky
blind lady and now we are having a much better time?”
RantWoman is
acutely aware that she is a challenging presence, RantWoman would not have made
it through extremely trying midlife changes without the Meeting community. That
is one but definitely not the only reason RantWoman is NOT called to be silent,
NOT called to write many imperfections in community life out of the story.
RantWoman recognizes that her experiences have caused everyone in the community
to collide with important concepts. RantWoman recognizes that these concepts
are a considerable strain for some Friends. RantWoman also honors the point
that some Friends really just cannot for whatever reason do what is needed in
this situation AND RantWoman is heartened that other Friends hardly have to
think at all to do what is needed. Think of the problem like the corona virus:
some people who get infected are hardly affected at all. Other people who get
infected wind up on life support.
Challenging
midlife changes? Blind lady? Reasonable accommodations? WHAT?
RantWoman
would be absolutely mortified to have this document sent out on her behalf even
if the document did not completely erase anything to do with midlife vision
loss and disability, the other notes throbbing in the narrative.
Simple comments. Please respect RantWOMAN's pronouns
These paragraphs are about
RantWOMAN. Even though RantWoman frequently says pronouns are an essay question
and can go on at great pedantic length in several essay question directions,
RantWoman reminds Friends that she and her usually work. Here PLEASE respect
RantWOMAN’S pronouns. For one thing RantWoman is getting misgendered in public
a little too often these days. For another thing, RantWoman needs to leave open
the possibility that there is unexamined privilege lurking several places in
this narrative.
RantWoman would find it a gift if
the State of Society reported that, as RantWoman understands it, 3 people INCLUDING
TWO NEWCOMERS were recorded as standing aside.
RantWoman notes STUNNING omission
of one of the biggest realities in RantWoman’s life during the interval: About
16 years ago, just as RantWoman was finishing her second term as Recording
Clerk, she experienced substantial vision loss related to a hereditary medical
condition that had affected her vision for her whole life. RantWoman now
recognizes that this reality has been a challenge for her community as well as
for herself. RantWoman has assuredly not been the most gracious guide for many
different threads of Blindness Tourism and unsolicited sorties to Planet
RantWoman. In fact, RantWoman feels horrible about some moments she keeps
working at with a therapist. And RantWoman is emphatically NOT called to go
away. In fact at a time when lots of people with disabilities are being told,
for instance, to get out of the way for other people who might need
ventilators, RantWoman is especially touchy about “get out of the way,” never
mind her own views about ventilators.
RantWoman STRONGLY recommends
that the State of Society report ASKE RANTWOMAN for statement about what has
worked and been really meaningful and what has spectacularly not worked about
meeting life.
RantWoman would not mind if the
State of Society reported that this decision occurred at a Business Meeting
where RantWoman was specifically driven out and told she is not welcome. This
is only one circumstance compelling RantWoman to use strong language in a
number of directions. Friends think they have released RantWoman from
Membership. They have NOT released RantWoman from moral obligation to speak.
RantWoman tartly notes that people with disabilities are not infrequently
called to be present in places where they are either explicitly or implicitly
not wanted. RantWoman also notes that the new Faith and Practice provides for
Friends to seek assistance from their Quarterly Meeting and RantWoman is doing so.
RantWoman is also grateful, finally, to have received links to the online Faith
and Practice in a form much more accessible to her—two days after the meeting
for Business where RantWoman was released from membership.
Factually Incorrect
This paragraph is also factually
incorrect. This may be the first such exercise conducted on the basis of a process
outlined in the new North Pacific Yearly Meeting Faith and Practice, but it is
not the first time people have been released from membership. This Meeting
periodically goes through its membership rolls, attempts to contact people
listed as members who have not been seen or heard from for an extended period
of time and if there is no response after several attempts removes them as
members.
RantWoman notes that one person
on RantWoman’s list of blind people in the community was formerly a member and
was removed from the rolls in this way. RantWoman has surmised from comments by
others about timelines, that this event may have occurred when the now
formermember was losing vision and maybe not reading every scrap of print
coming in the mail or maybe otherwise difficult to reach. This Friend frequently says things to
strengthen RantWoman’s spine. RantWoman has never asked her about the timing
issue but does appreciate that she has returned to Western WA.
Pending Data Dump
RantWoman has a whole blog full of
Great Moments in disability awareness which RantWoman is now trying to distill
into the most revelatory moments. What works, really? Other moments, RantWoman
is, um, a sarcastic bitch who tells too much of the truth and too often summons
approximately the interpersonal finesse of a Brillo pad. RantWoman is TRYING,
though, to cut down the number of people she scorches with the inner blowtorch.
RantWoman has been trying to talk
about ableism and disability for YEARS. RantWoman is thinking now about what
she might have done to make a better conversation. RantWoman will supply other
moments in a more detail in a separate post. RantWoman is also thinking about
years and years of some kinds of activity without any mention in minutes of
legal requirements about the issue. RantWoman is aware that is a complicated
subject, but for there to be NOTHING is, to RantWoman striking.
RantWoman thinks she is still supposed to be
touched, or something by the Care and Accountability Committee’s efforts. Let’s
see, how many flavors of ableism, not counting the part about “we are a care
and accountability committee—FOR A PERSON WITH A DISABILITY—but it is not our
job to deal with disability or reasonable accommodations requests or …?
--The committee had to be told several times not to schedule meetings where RantWoman’s presence is wanted without consulting RantWoman about availability.
--The committee liked to suggest that RantWoman could go sit during meeting for business in locations physically inaccessible to people RantWoman might want to have sit with her.
--The committee refused to provide RantWoman written notes of what had ostensibly been agreed to so that RantWoman could check for accuracy before information was passed along. Nor did it occur to the committee that the whole community might STILL need to hear from RantWoman IN HER OWN WORDS.
--The C&A committee refused several specific requests to convene clearness committees so that people on whose behalf the committee was ostensibly speaking could be heard first hand and unfiltered.
--The members of the committee ignored the invitation / request as a reasonable accommodation that people who complain about RantWoman in Meetings come to any of several options where they can observe dynamics all blind people deal with and then help RantWoman figure out approaches compatible with Meeting for Business.
--Members of the committee had eyes that glaze over when RantWoman tried to talk about alternative formats or software accessibility or other topics critical to RantWoman’s ability to function. RantWoman knows other people get the issues at least a little better than the Care and Accountability committee so RantWoman’s first inclination would be to release the Care and Accountability Committee with thanks for their efforts and work with others. RantWoman’s second inclination would be to ask Friends just to hold the reality that the Meeting is struggling with issues that vex all kinds of other organizations and people with disabilities. People do not necessarily want to know that their struggles are merely average, not some special zone of mystery, but there can be odd communion and grace in this realization.
RantWoman notes that after the
Care and Accountability Committee appointed to “bring RantWoman back into line”
or whatever was laid down, RantWoman and others were able to convene a
committee to work on a charter specifically about a committee to work on issues
related to disability. The clerk at the time month after month turned down
RantWoman’s request to bring the matter to Coordinating Committee and then
Business Meeting. An Ad-hoc Committee on Disabilities was created only 4 months
after RantWoman was released from membership. Even though Nominating Committee
usually says it welcomes non-members, the suggestion to list RantWoman’s name
as part of the committee has been greeted with howls of distress.
RantWoman has been offered a separate and very unequal opportunity to worship with Friends who expressed willingness in the key business meeting to worship with RantWoman. The separate and unequal involved consideration and rejection of several options involving time, travel, or emotional baggage constraints incompatible with RantWoman's realities. Interestingly, RantWoman felt liberated to discern a leading about worship and worship sharing about prayer. However, when RantWoman has expressed a clear leading to invite others to join this worship through meeting information streams, the clerk has several times decreed "Absolutely Not."
Frankly, RantWoman thinks a State
of Society report that addresses some of these points could do a LOT less
violence to the truth than what is here!
In Light and Faithfulness
RantWoman
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