A survey:? Careful what you ask.

RantWOMAN, can you possibly pretty please dial back the level of insufferable even a TINY bit? …

 

No. It’s winter but think evergreens, and celebrate holiday abundance.

 

…And the world wants thank you notes.

 Noted. And RantWoman needs to talk about surveys, and apparently to go on at great length. RantWoman does thank any intrepid reader who wades in. RantWoman has also put in headings and invites readers to skip around as needed.

 

 

Bless us oh Lord for RantWoman truly has MUCH to be thankful for, and not JUST thank you ever so much bless your heart gratitudes one sometimes must exude. More on gratitudes separately.

 

Surveys

First RantWoman is called to wade into the matter of Surveys, surveys in general and a survey in her Meeting. Here is apologia to the general case of what happens when RantWoman collides with a survey, almost any survey. But please read through because there are RESULTS that still, to this day, make RantWoman absurdly happy even though she is not racking up nearly as many frequent flyer visits as she was a good while ago.

 

https://rantwoman.blogspot.com/2018/12/survey-me-again.html

 

 

The Worship and Ministry Survey

RantWoman thanks Friends for the link to the electronic version of the Worship and Ministry Survey. RantWoman hopes that her electronic offerings will at least be more legible than if she were to tackle paper with fat pen in scribble font with a whole bunch of None of the Above, How about…, and It Depends comments, as well as discomfiting suggestions about questions that Really Need To Be There.

 

RantWoman is reproducing the substance part of the survey here for sort of selfish reasons: If RantWoman tries to have a conversation about everything that fries her brain with just one person, the results will not be great happiness on either side. If RantWoman blogs on Planet RantWoman, everyone can read and maybe even speak to points they either resonate with or violently disagree with.

 
 RantWoman means it about interest in comments though RantWoman’s name is not attached to next steps and it might make sense to address Worship and Ministry directly. In any case, RantWoman moderates comments so comments might not appear instantly. RantWoman does have a higher tolerance than seems to be the expected norm in her Meeting for rhetorical excess. Plus if RantWoman’s Excessively Plain English to Quakerese filter misfires with appalling frequency, RantWoman expects to bear with others who may be afflicted with similar challenges. Be advised, this is the internet though, and RantWoman’s sense of spiritual accompaniment may include asking others with different gifts and letters behind their names than RantWoman to look at specific items. NO GUARANTEE about responsiveness but RantWoman may ask.

 

The Suggested Topics

How do new folks get involved at UFM

Quaker History

Quaker Decisionmaking

Discernment

Elders and Eldering

Ministries

Leadings

I

 

Suggest Topics that would help with my work at UFM

Work? A committee? That sounds like too much commitment. What can I do that will matter week to week. Hint: rantWoman has a LONG list of suggestions but does not see data collection that would work with RantWoman’s suggestions.

Introduction to Quakerese. How ever am I supposed to complete this survey if I do not understand the terms?

Quakers and disability

Conflict resolution isn't just for people who like "couples counseling" vocabulary

Cultivating the peaceable email kingdom. Tips, tricks, and guide to all the different boilerplate in people’s email footers

Recognizing Deal With it NOW issues and dealing with them.

Quaker Alphabet Soup, perhaps as brunch with real soup.

 

Suggest topics that would help with my spiritual development

Cultivating a spiritual practice.
What do we mean spiritual accompaniment?

 

Suggest topics of Social Concern

nuclear weapons and proliferation issues, livable cities, what is going on around the U district?

 

 

Omitted Here: A Series of Questions about timing

(time of day, day of week and months of the year.)

The answer about timing is IT DEPENDS.

 RantWoman is currently busy until mid afternoon on first and third Saturdays but would love the idea of brunch sessions other weeks.

RantWoman would love to talk about something in conjunction with midweek worship

 RantWoman can usually say something sensible about day of the week issues on a reasonably close time horizon. RantWoman suggests people with a leading to organize sessions about specific topics offer options that work for their schedule and choose based on responses.

How about one sunday a month at 11:00 and people who want worship go to 9:30?

 

Are there questions you wish we had asked?

Would you like the opportunity to rank your interest in the topics?

Sure as long as I also get to be snarky and admit my interest might depend on who is presenting.

  

Would you maybe interested in offering to lead a session on one of the topics proposed here?

What are your childcare needs and preferences, separate childcare or child supportive space as part of a session?

 

What accessibility measures will help you participate as fully as you can? This might include a mic, chem and odor free or mold free space, or many other considerations.

 

RantWoman would be called to ramble extensively about availability of content in forms it is easy for RantWoman to access. But RantWoman also relies a lot on Just Ask a Human and sometimes wings it without doing any reading at all.

 

 Probably this is more than enough for tonight?

Cristmas Eve: The Least Terrible Season of the Year | Christmas on I.C.E. Part 1 | TBS

RantWoman is not terribly interested in others' opinions about whether this item is appropriate for Christmas Eve. That iswhen RantWoman is led to post it. Maybe RantWoman will apply well-combed words before it posts. maybe not. Please hold the possibility in the Light.

Advent 4 Items from BlogRoll plus Los Peces En El Río - Angela Aguilar Ft. Pepe Aguilar - Nueva Tradicion

No RantWoman is NOT going to provide a translation of this very rocked up villancico, at least not until RantWoman does a smidgeon of research about why the fish in the river are drinking in wonder at the sight  of God.




Digressions of rage and grief available about the current administrations barbaric immigration policies.


Digression also available about why in Spanish when a lot of the migrants are native speakers of various indigenous languages and barely speak Spanish.


But really RantWoman suggests, just shut up and listen to the music.

Los peces en el rio on Angela Aguilar's youtube page


updated 12/20/2021 to connect readers directly with Angela Aguilar's youtube channel and other social media











RantWoman is however happy to include two items from blog roll which also speak to her condition

And if RantWoman has not pulled nuggets out of the blog roll sufficiently to make clear her condition, oh well!




http://gatheringinlight.com/2018/12/14/on-learning-how-to-lose/


https://blog.canyoubelieve.me/2018/12/advent-shorts.html

Physical, excursion

RantWoman is this physical safety excursion to Planet RantWoman REALLY the best way you can find to observe the solstice? I mean we really have not asked you to elaborate on “If I tell you it is unsafe, you need to BELIEVE me”

 

Yep. RantWoman knows how to party. One is not required to like the invitation to party alongside…but if one pays attention to what works and what does not….

 

Wired

Great moments in matters of physical safety, the RantWoman edition with a nod to the friend who told RantWoman, thinking of memory only a a scale of months,  maybe it is not good to have such a long memory, well except for the part about what gets wired in and how or the part about what works and what does not.

 

Speaking of wired, RantWoman has to assume, based on lots of observation of the rant parents, that probably there are some physical reactions wired from events long ago, and not just from 2-year-old RantWoman fights with RantMom about taking glasses off at bedtime. Plus being grabbed is one of the most common blind person nightmares.

 

Crossing the Street

RantWoman to Friend A years ago, probably not exactly articulating the Grab the Blind Person and Bless them “it’s about crossing the street” point, “I am having trouble with (Conflict is a Gift of God Friend)”

 

Friend A “Why do you even hang out with…”

 

RantWoman to herself: gees. I was hoping for something like “say more” or “what would help?”

 

Any thoughts about what is or is not working in that conversation?

 

 

Friend A lately has been telling RantWoman she is learning all about ableism. Really? Have you considered inviting RantWoman into your discussions because guess what, it’s on the agenda…?

 

Any thoughts about what is or is not working in that conversation?

 

 

Friend B from “It’s about crossing the street” “RantWoman this email is just TOO LONG.”

 

Any thoughts about what is or is not working in that conversation, other than a hope that sometimes roles and titles come with expectations of more fortitude?

 

 

Life moved along. RantWoman stopped going walking with Conflict is a Gift of God Friend. RantWoman did not yet find the right words to talk regularly of Grab the Blind Person and Bless them except at blindness conventions where the line evoked gales of knowing laughter. . RantWoman learned that wheelchair users also have similar problems. Welcome to everyday ableism.

 

Toddlers

Life moved along. Some wonderful exuberant toddlers arrived. So did toddler browning motion, behavior which absolutely fries RantWoman’s nerves on safety grounds for herself and on behalf of tottery elders. At first, RantWoman’s Excessively Plain English to Quakerese filter repeatedly malfunctioned in the “nothing makes it out of RantWoman’s mouth direction.  Possibly just as well, especially since RantWoman keeps telling people, hard as it may be to believe, RantWoman sometimes gets so upset she cannot talk.

 

RantWoman accidentally found a conversation with someone else who handles the toddler Browning motion problem a different way. RantWoman wrote email which RantWoman recalls seeming to fall off the edge of the universe with no or inadequate response. HOWEVER, RantWoman observed toddlers growing with grandmother attention.

 

RantWoman also learned to come up with the right words for visitors with small ones who understand nothing about a white cane.

 

Ding. Ding. Ding. What WORKS here? Any elements that really do not work?

 

 

RantWoman spends LOTS of time and energy trying not to plow into people, trying to move among bobbing forms. Some of the forms are actual humans. Some of the forms are the various streams of fog, blur, multiple imagery, grow your own lava lamp floaters which arise when RantWoman’s eyes interact with bifocals and the environment. Trust RantWoman on this: mind-alterning substances are basically superfluous.

 

RantWoman spends still MORE time and energy trying not to plow into people, trying to move among bobbing forms. RantWoman has actually been doing this her whole life and, even after midlife eye calamities, can often recognize people by a combination of shape and rhythms of movement. NO ONE should take this for granted though.

 

Minders

Comes now RantWoman’s fraught moment in Business Meeting of utterly distressing concern for wheelchair accessibility for a tenant’s services. Afterward, besides preventing RantWoman from attending worship for a time one of the things tried was…drum roll please…Minders! Minders who, having never before sat next to RantWoman in worship suddenly felt entitled to try to sit next to RantWoman in worship, overpowering scents and all. RantWoman hopes this intrusion made SOMEONE feel better but RantWoman repeatedly moved away from these intrusions. RantWoman made such intrusion more difficult in other ways. RantWoman greatly appreciates others’ recognition that Minders Were Not Working!

 

Digression for the RantWoman in meetings experience. RantWoman specifically gave people permission to tap her on the arm if she was missing a visual cue. None of the people RantWoman gave this permission to remembered being given this permission. RantWoman also consulted with another blind friend about experience in meetings. That friend said just sit next to someone you feel safe sitting next to. RantWoman at one point analyzed a bunch of data and realized her sit next to strategy had a kink in it, a kink RantWoman does not feel like spelling out in blogdom.

 

RantWoman has also specifically sometimes asked someone to sit next to her in Business Meeting. But rantWoman has NEVER given anyone blanket permission to touch her without asking. It happened ONCE  RantWoman moved away quickly, which did not help because RantWoman moved in a direction she would have preferred not to move without seeing who was there. Touch Friend followed RantWoman but did IMMEDIATELY move away when RantWoman asked. And for RantWoman’s trouble, she got told, not asked by another Friend what a loving gesture the touch had seemed.  Did RantWoman need still MORE reasons for her head to explode? Does anyone besides RantWoman see the CONSENT issue here?

 

The Bus

The next part of today’s excursion to Planet RantWoman is about the bus. RantWoman rides the bus almost everywhere. RantWoman rides when the bus is nearly empty and RantWoman can easily find a seat facing forward near enough to the front still to hear the stop announcements. RantWoman also rides the bus when it is crammed full. If there are seats, RantWoman tucks as much of what she carries under her feet in order not to conk people on the head or trip other passengers.

 

RantWoman’s feet work better than her eyes, RantWoman sometimes stands and as a result sometimes winds up unintentionally conking other people with her baggage. Other passengers are not so courtesy-minded and a crowded bus also often means high risk of getting conked in the face by someone else’s baggage.

 

 

The day of the great Not Look very Far …an Idiot moment in Business Meeting, RantWoman realized she was surrounded, surrounded too close by people who never ride the bus and probably do not have their know when to move instincts as well wired as RantWoman does. RantWoman was not confident she could pick up her bag without conking anyone with it. At this point, RantWoman’s direct action “do what you can to stay calm and not move” reflexes also kicked in. But still more Planet RantWoman is on the itinerary.

 

 

RantWoman! You know that thought that muddled into your head about three men more concerned about a man’s feelings than a woman’s physical safety? You know articulating that will probably not be helpful? Nor will it be helpful to elaborate on how circumspect RantWoman was in an earlier very serious moment involving the word “insurance” in Business Meeting.

 

Yeah. God is going to have to help deal with that and if God can make sure the insurance exclamation makes it into the minutes…. It’s part of the many things matter very much and some things are way too fragile problem. Maybe the thought will just lurk amid RantWoman’s visual fog. Please hold all in the Light.

 

Sighted Guide

Please enjoy a special Blindness Tourism excursion about sighted guide techniques. Sighted Guide techniques are more or less standard practices for assisting blind people to get around. Sometimes a blind person will take a guide’s elbow. Sometimes a blind person will follow with a hand on the guide’s shoulder. Both of these can be awkward if the guide and the person being guided are substantially different in size. Ding! Ding!

 

(Sometimes blind people also line up with each person putting their hand on the shoulder of the person and front of them and relying on the front person’s cane skills.)

 

But the ONLY sighted guide technique RantWoman can deal with is following a guide by voice, admittedly difficult in noisy environments. Often at blindness conventions RantWoman spends the first day or so nearly jumping out of her skin around the “helpful” sighted volunteers. This year’s volunteers were more perceptive and less intrusive than average.

Most recently at this year’s convention, RantWoman was actually sighted guide, for a woman in a wheelchair; the wheelchair controls were even working decently, and follow was the order of the day but sense of space was critical.

 

But back to the Business Meeting excursion. RantWoman was surrounded, but not surrounded by people who to RantWoman’s knowledge have ever had any training about sighted guide issues. RantWoman was just clear it was safer for everyone for RantWoman not to move. As it was, RantWoman’s brain about melted reading one Friend’s earnest email. If RantWoman tells you it is unsafe, a member of a CARE and Accountability committee needs to believe her and maybe even try to help sort out the what works and what does not.

 

 

RantWoman WHY do you need to go on at such length? What is your intent?

 

Hold ALL in the Light.  Start there.

 

 

In faithfulness.

 

RantWoman

Blessed are those who mourn, and atom bombs

RantWoman, why do you keep mumbling “Jesus Christ on a Pizza Crust with kimchi and Goat Cheese”?

 

It’s the best seasonal exclamation RantWoman can muster right now.

 

Moments from Adult Religious Education, what does Christmas mean to you?

Oh Atom Bomb, composed by Madame Clerk and her brother, sung to Oh Tannenbaum and served with a mushroom cloud cake. 

O Atom Bomb, O Atom Bomb,

We trust in thy blast!

We know you'll blow the world to bits

To keep us safe from Communists!

O Atom Bomb, O Atom Bomb,

We trust in thy blast!

 

O Atom Bomb, O Atom Bomb,

We have no need to fear you!

All of your vengeance we can brave,

We'll just revert to life in caves!

O Atom Bomb, O Atom Bomb,

We have no need to fear you!

 

 

RantWoman was rolling on the floor with laughter, slightly dated lyrics or no.

 

RantWoman thanks Madam Clerk for retyping so RantWoman does not have to pull out her techno-contortions list to OCR the original image.

 

“Colonial Cooptation of pagan…. “ RantWoman is glad there was someone in the room to say this, but does not unite with the point of view.

 

SOMEONE (present in the room) one year took all the packages containing plastic models, opened them all and dumped the contents into one big pile. Guess how the children amused themselves.

 

In a big family, the anticipation game was trying to guess who was assigned to give presents to whom

 

More than one person spoke about a sense of being apart: because of growing up Quaker, because it’s a religious holiday dangit, not a commercial orgy, because pause and celebrate does not mean go to the mall.

 

Moments from Worship.

From Total Energy Vortex Friend, Friend, Friend who, how DOES she do it, ALWAYS manages to be about 12 times sunnier and more cheerful than RantWoman “Friends, I meant to tell you last week that I started chemo for multiple myeloma but…” Look, People, RantWoman is furious. Energy Vortex Friend is one of those behind the scenes total engines of the Meeting. RantWoman is mortified and RantWoman feels NO obligation to apologize on behalf of anyone else. If anything RantWoman feels a fit of further eldering coming on.

 

“RantWoman I am glad you are here today. I was not here last week but I am glad you are here today.”

 

“Blessed are those who mourn.” Okay good. RantWoman is sorry you are suffering. RantWoman does not even mind a sense of spiritual accompaniment about the evolution of the sufferings. Ya’ know, though,  after you spoke, RantWoman no longer needed to do something with meditations about always having communion on Christmas Eve at the Baptist Church. RantDad always found the practice morbid. RantWoman does not disagree, but part of the point of God in human form is all the crap that might befall this person after the birth in a stable thing wears off. Talk about magic challenged?

 

The other part of the “Blessed are those who mourn” message for RantWoman: RantWoman has been fretting about “ruining” others celebrations but RantWoman has decided the things making her head explode have some kind of holiday resonance in her Meeting and therefore RantWoman must continue to muddle forward.

 

By muddle forward, RantWoman this week needed a dose of all life a prayer and “whatever am I to wear?” RantWoman reported in worship: God told her to wear a T-shirt, covered with a jumper. The message on the T-shirt is exactly on point, but it is in language deliciously inappropriate for Meeting for Worship. Lord help us all.

 

If we are lucky, RantWoman will be able to corral her makes head explode twitches and muster words concisely as befits the tastes of people who persist in thinking either that people who have just been through traumatizing circumstances will automatically be able to write carefully sculpted and precisely edited emails or that emails should not arrive at all if one does not like the content.

 

RantWoman is both appreciating and mourning circumstances to do with RantBrother. Piquant details available upon request; RantWoman DOES mean to extract community meaning…

 

Postscript

Actual live in-person conversation with Not an Idiot Friend.

RantWoman APPLAUDS. Okay, after cancellation of a Saturday event RantWoman was aiming for a 20-minute phone call with maybe someone else on the line just to uphold the conversation. Not an Idiot Friend said he would try to set it up but that did not happen. Next Time RantWoman wants that, she will take responsibility for scheduling.

 

RantWoman to Not an Idiot friend, “Look, I did not intend to call you an idiot. I have been on both sides of the Idiot word or some equivalent in the workplace. Granted “idiot” in the workplace is not the best idea either, but really, is that the worst thing you have ever been called?

 

In return, Not an Idiot Friend asked RantWoman, that physical safety issue? Really?

Let’s see which pre-existing threads someone will have to hear AGAIN, on top of new stuff.

 

Questions Not Heard

RantWoman, what does your T-shirt say? The one God told you to wear, the one with a spot-on message in language completely inappropriate for Meeting for Worship.

 

RantWoman, would you care to say more about “Not Physically safe..” Either in this Instance or ups and downs over time?

Advent 3 with red cactus and connection

Forget all the psychic muddle and meandering coming this year with RantWoman's

Red Cactus of Connection

Christmas cactus cornucopia. This Christmas cactus is one of help coming from unusual directions. RantWoman's cactuses have been out on the Twitter for weeks and today this one came back. It blooms later than RantWoman's. The red is gorgeous.

The connection behind the Christmas cactus is one of those Twitter things, a journalist in Spokane with whom RantWoman disagrees passionately about many things—abortion, democrats…-- and from time to time finds some wonderful point of agreement such as “the next episode of Trump TV” or let’s try to take care of the kids who already are alive.” RantWoman appreciated a recent thread from when the Pennsylvania Attorney General issued its report about sexual misconduct among Catholic priests: the women talking about it thought the first thing they should do is fast and pray!

RantWoman has been having meandering dialogue about among other things ”Younger people.” One of RantWoman’s current “younger people” stories is a young Friend from eastern WA who worshipped among us from time to time while getting an MPA and who RantWoman now sees in the rest of her life because he has a job related to digital inclusion in Tacoma. Last time he worshipped among us, the journalist from Spokane came up along with the question “How do you know her?” The connection made both sides of the conversation smile.

Abundance--of something?

Dear Readers

First you must choose your meme for today’s excursion to Planet RantWoman. Options include:

Random update for no reason software enhancement

Tinker Vs Des Moines First Amendment Supreme Court case upholding students right to wear black armbands to school during the Christmas season to protest the Vietnam war. This meme is here because RantWoman’s eighth grade history teacher cited as one of the most important Supreme Court cases ever, right behind Brown vs Board of education.

Blurred vision, double vision, and euphoria, the side effects of a long ago RantBrother pharmacological regimen. RantWoman does fine about blurred vision and double vision without any pharmaceutical help, but where the heck is the euphoria?

Biblical readings from Psalm 121, RSV, grade 2 NON-UEB braille or a Christmas passage from Isaiah 41 read with female pronouns for the divine, just to add another badass element.

Should we go with the Middle East themed bomb threats or can we work on the spending an hour and a half figuring out how to pray together angle?

Holiday manger scene with all the different symbolic creatures and personages, perhaps for Planet RantWoman as embodied in paper pasted to plywood with reinforced framing and sand bags and bales of hay to keep everything from blowing over in the howling Colorado winds of RantWoman’s childhood.

Some sort of ungainly holiday pageant, perhaps under coordinated second graders whose costumes are always askew or perhaps the sort of high schoolers RantWoman met on the bus the other day: RantWoman listened to enough of their conversation ALMOST to go all motherly on then and suggest they take care of their brain cells and get help about their substance abuse issues. Then the bus arrived at the stop for their school.

A scary, scary demon with horns and a giant cape…

　

RantWoman, we don’t CARE about a meme. Get to the Point.

Oh, but you must have a meme and you must also say Thank you, because that is the rule on Planet RantWoman even about "help" that is not helpful.

　

Are we ready? Get comfortable because this may take awhile AND wind around a bit. May the Lord Bless and Keep you and make his face to shine upon you and give you peace…

　

Welcome to Great Moments in Business Meeting, Accessibility Edition, Round 2 of the past year or so. Round 1 some readers may remember involved RantWoman daring to speak of wheelchair accessibility for services provided by one tenant. RantWoman is humble about whatever all added up to Madame Clerk needing to stalk out of the room. Tonight RantWoman will spare readers a Dial A Tirade sidebar about events after that business meeting. RantWoman greatly esteems the current clerk if only for pluck and fortitude. RantWoman also would not mind having different gifts herself and perhaps a meme other than the scary demon with big nasty horns that seems to appear to others whenever RantWoman tries to speak even very carefully of accessibility. Somehow the scary demon goes away when other people speak on RantWoman’s behalf, but that is pretty average #disabilityinchurch ableism and who the heck wants to be average?

Tonight we bring you Great Moments in Business Meeting, Accessibility Edition Round 2 starring Madame Clerk, Not an Idiot Friend, Self-Righteous Twenty-Something Friend, Friend who thinks growling at RantWoman will help, RantWoman, I’m not interested in your thought processes Friend, and a further cast of thousands. RantWoman invokes rather frank Noms de Blog with great caring, deep affection, and respect or at least as much of those as the love and care mentioned in the Still Didn’t get the Memo Committee on Email Immoderation announcement in the Bulletin. RantWoman also sincerely thanks Not an Idiot Friend and I am Not Interested in Your Thought Processes Friend for honest expressions of emotion, truly! Please understand RantWoman’s memory is imperfect, but this is how this month’s proceedings looked through RantWoman’s womky eyeballs.

　

The preparation: RantWoman has been seasoning a leading to work on disability issues for awhile. RantWoman has assembled an able adhoc committee though RantWoman selfishly would like to beg the time of a couple more Friends. RantWoman has drafted an outline of some topics, ideas, approaches and also wanted to offer Meeting for Business space to help shape the work. RantWoman has decreed that the committee will work some of the time by conference call and / or email. RantWoman has already had push-back from one committee volunteer about email, but email is an important part of RantWoman’s accessible work process protocol and RantWoman trusts that PushBack Friend will be able to cope. RantWoman has seasoned one idea enough to be ready to schedule a conference call.

RantWoman wrote up a sloppy draft of her ideas and hoped to work on them with the Care and Accountability Committee named in her direction but other members of said committee pushed in other directions. In other words, the Care and Accountability Committee is part of the impetus for focused work.

RantWoman also would have taken her draft ideas to the pre-business meeting planning meeting called Coordinating Committee, but RantWoman and Madame Clerk agreed that conversation about business meeting could happen later in the week. At that point Madame Clerk demurred: she did not want to bring anything to business meeting that had not gone to Coordinating committee, BUT RantWoman would be allowed to make an announcement and have a table at lunch afterward. This option is NOT preferable on Planet RantWoman because RantWoman finds noisy environments hard to deal with; also RantWoman was due at Irrepressible Nephew’s birthday.

Apparently God had other ideas anyway, other ideas in the form of hours and hours (well not really but close) fussing about minutes and other moments as below.

Meeting for Worship with attention to business opened as usual: welcome, reading, introduction of people visiting or attending Meeting for Business for the first time. God and those in attendance made it through announcements and the first two items with little fanfare. Then it was time for minutes. RantWoman appreciates Madame Clerk allowing her to ask how many others besides RantWoman read the draft minutes when they come out by email on Friday. RantWoman was pleased to have a sense that several Friends do, but RantWoman could not see and did not ask for a precise count. RantWoman also pblutly spoke of need to be honest about what works and what does not work. Hence some detail here. RantWoman is VERY grateful for many things that make a great deal of difference. RantWoman wants Friends to understand what matters, and RantWoman is ruthless about freeing everyone of things that do not work.

　

RantWoman was called to offer two corrections to a previous month’s report about the Care and Accountability Committee. RantWoman will spare readers all the details of the discussion. Are RantWoman’s corrections factual? RantWoman spoke only to things she specifically remembers saying. The Recording clerk had already discarded her notes. She also acknowledged considering what to record of RantWoman’s previous month comments with others, though when RantWoman emailed after reading the minutes on Friday, Friend Recording Clerk said she would only corrections in the "worshipful" space of Meeting for Business. Sigh. RantWoman is an all life is a prayer Quaker and figured Light might show up many ways.

One of RantWoman’s corrections is somewhat redundant to something already in the draft minutes but RantWoman specifically remembered speaking to it and wanted it in the minutes. Another referred to a long ago nominating committee conversation, a conversation from before the era of the person who then spoke. Would the points of concern to RantWoman even be in the old committee minutes? Should corrections appear at all? Should they appear in the current month’s minutes or with the previous month’s minutes? RantWoman deeply blesses the Friend who underscored RantWoman’s points but more Friends kept wanting to weigh in about this month or last month and the clerk keep asking the room whether there was unity about what to include. No. More discussion. Round and round.

Somewhere in the round and round NOT an idiot Friend spoke of feeling deeply hurt by the juxtaposition of his name and the word Idiot. RantWoman tried to respond to the pain and apologize. RantWoman wonders after the fact whether she should also apologize for failing to speak up for a long long time about utter exasperation with Not and Idiot Friends communications practices. In any case, RantWoman was speaking her truth as comfortingly as she could manage and this was not enough for Self Righteous Twenty Something Friend. Self Righteous Friend was so offended he thought RantWoman should leave or, others insist, leave for the day and so apparently did the rest of the room.

RantWoman had already spoken of moments in Quaker history when a Friend is called to stand or in this case sit alone. RantWoman was very clear she was not going anywhere and not just because of being ferociously not in unity to leave from the very discussion she is led to have. RantWoman was not going anywhere on grounds of safety for everyone. RantWoman is large, legally blind, and not well-coordinate when she is upset or angry, By that time Friends had tried to surround RantWoman and RantWoman was clear to sit.

One Friend voiced outrage and stomped out. RantWoman was told others apparently also stomped out.

So the rest of the room decided to sing and then leave.

Jesus Christ on a pizza crust with Kimchi and Goad Cheese!

PLEASE hold us all in the Light.

Sincerely

RantWoman.

Hanukkah 8 Six13 - Bohemian Chanukah (a Queen adaptation)

Cornucopia with Email Immoderation

An announcement in the weekly bulletin at RantWoman’s meeting. Nominating Committee has trouble filling many roles but the Still Didn’t Get the Memo Committee on Email Immoderation appears to be doing just fine. Imagine if Nominating Committee were able to use the energy flowing among the "harsh" and "rambling" words. 

 

• Our Meeting includes individuals whose comments, ministry and/or emails may be aggressive,

harsh, or rambling, and who misuse Quaker process. We are working on bringing our

community together to hold these Friends both in the Light and accountable for their words

and actions. If you have questions or concerns, speak with the individual closing meeting for

worship. If you experience or witness harassment, either in person or online please notify

Care and Counsel Committee. The co-clerks are Friend A (who has various Noms de Blog) and Friend B (known in RantWoman’s experience for NOT interacting with his email AT ALL)

 

Draft minutes SHOULD say something like

“The announcement in the bulletin…refers to more than one person.”

 

RantWoman will be offering a correction.

 

Cornucopia with street crossing

Below is an actual email from RantWoman's archive with time stamps preserved. RantWoman retrieved it while factchecking who actually was present at a long ago Nominating Committee meeting where everything to do with disability was declared off topic. Who? Not one person RantWoman mentioned, but a different former Clerk of many things.

 

From: Friend whose current title implies one MIGHT wish to be able to expect more of her, aka "It's not Good for the Community Friend" before RantWoman managed to speak when she desparately needed to speak to someone of the Grab the Blind Person and bless them issue presented here.

Date: Tue, 14 Jun 2011 19:08:32 -0700 (PDT)

Subject: Re: It's about crossing the street

To: (RantWoman)

 

(emphasis added)

too much to read, RantWoman (with RantWoman's first name misspelled).

I do catch a desire to go slow and breathe, though

 

________________________________

From: RantWoman

To: Friend whose title ...as above

Cc: Previous holder of said title

Sent: Tue, June 14, 2011 5:37:46 AM

Subject: It's about crossing the street

 

Hi Friend

 

Thank you for the phone conversation last night.

 

Thank you for the thought about everyone having pain and suffering

being a choice. I think there is a difference between letting pain

show and suffering. More than one person has said I have seemed more

frustrated recently than in the past. Well, duh! On the other hand, I

decided about the time I turned 40 that I was going to stop pretending

that some lifelong problems didn't cause difficulty. If it has taken

this long and 2 detached retinas and a whole bunch of other stuff for

other people to notice, maybe I have been doing too good a job of

pretending for a long time.

 

There is a difference though between letting pain show and suffering.

If I let pain show it's because I do not have energy to keep hiding it

or because there are really good practical reasons I need to live in

physical reality. People should not assume that because I am letting

pain show that I am suffering. I am not letting pain show to cause

other people suffering. If others suffer on my account, God bless them

but it's not something I mean to cause. …

 

On the other hand, I am not exempt from responsibility for causing

pain if the cause is within my control and part of the whole said committee thing

really IS a sincere effort to figure out whether I am causing other

pain in a way I can control and need to fix OR whether I just need to

take up space for my reality the same way everyone else does about

children and travel plans and concert schedules. At this point I think

there is both but I am not getting good signals because of people not

dealing with what looks different because of vision loss. And then a

bunch of supposed elders need to consider whether we can TRY to

address conflicts like grownups. I am sorry the answer with the

current lot seems to be NO and people basically stopped talking and

being willing to interact.

 

So that's one issue with my continuing proviso regarding people

talking ABOUT me, not TO ME.

 

But back to Drama in Meeting for Business. Thank you for mentioning my

nomination. Again, I expect that was considerably more talking ABOUT

me than talking TO me. Very few people realize half the issue has to do with crossing the street and the other half has to do with my repeated ccrack about Hospitality Committee being pastoral care plus knives and hot liquids. Whatever do I mean?

 

I actually LIKE going walking with a certain Friend. (For the record, Conflict Is a Gift of God Friend)  I have lots of people in my life with mobility challenges. That Friend has bad knees but he sets a better pace than lots of other people I frequently travel with. He has ONE problem though: he is a lousy sighted guide in the first place but in the second he thinks I should be willing just to expect that multiple lanes of traffic will see my white cane at numbers of times when it looks to me like he is just unwilling to walk to the stop light. In split second decisions, I don't need to argue

with that Friend. I don't need other people to season things for a few millenia. I just need not to get run over.

 

The knives and hot liquids issue has to do partly I guess with me still needing space for some feelings about vision loss and with an incident involving that Friend and another Friend I have also had occasion to observe over time in Meeting and out of Meeting. Both have

hidden disabilities and it actually took ME many MONTHS of reflection to get a couple really important points about what was under anyone's control and what was not. There are BIG hold tenderly points on both sides of that incident AND big issues of ME needing to come to a

better centered place about issues on both sides. I am of two minds about whether any of that should have played out in more detail in Meeting for Business. Like I say, there are BIG hold tenderly points which are not "Get out of jail free." I don't think it's necessarily terrible for a community to know each other's sore places. In general I think the choice to bring it up belongs to the person involved BUT I think there is room for Friends to observe and then decisions about

how to handle tenderly, a point where I know there is various history in Meeting.

 

These points are tangled with some other bad boundaries on my part and with some other basic respect for my time issues and some other vulnerability because for instance of new barriers for me about reading. Then there are some other Quaker world according to that

Friend not being world according to others points. Only the latter really made it to Meeting for Business. When I find ways to take responsibility for my own needs and see past my personal rage and irritation, I think some of what happened was a valuable exercise in

Quaker process and in seeing what Friends get or don't get. I do not

think my nomination was the best vehicle for that. In fact, if I wanted to be in suffering mode, I could have a really big tirade about a number of isms and why (RantWoman) instead of other vehicles but sometimes we go with what we have. Business Meeting is on the minds of

multiple people in our community and I expect more will work itself

out in the fullness of time.

 

But why IN THIS CASE let things go to Business Meeting?

 

One reason is the talking ABOUT vs talking TO.

 

Another issue is that I have FULL STOPS about people not even trying with a clearness committee and about the decision being made not involving a conversation among all committee members and no interaction with my question about how is Spirit moving among us. I think this is a particularly big problem because I frequently experience the incoming clerk as very disrespectful and dismissive and

insensitive about others' reactions and because I do not see the other

people wanting to throw me off the committee as being able to model conflict resolution.

 

Still another reason is how little respect Nominating Committee showed for my time and discernment. Because no one on W&M talked to me directly, I ONLY got secondhand mush when ( 2 Friends) talked to me.


At that point, I took IMMEDIATE action to try to get direct

information and made LOTS of efforts to hear people.

 

[In the conversation referenced here, members of Nominating Committee including a VERY Weighty Friend declared everything to do with disability and reasonable accommodations off-topic]

Conversations with Nom Comm were all about why won't I resign. When I

tried to explain interactions between(a certain committee) experience and

accommodations, I heard NO willingness by Nom Comm to reconsider. I

stand by the point that came up multiple times that I was called to

ask whether Nom Comm was seasoning the wrong questions.

 

I had told Nom Comm multiple times multiple ways that I was unclear

but that knowing what roster they intended to propose might have made

a difference in my discernment. I finally sent (members of Nominating Committee) a "cut

the crap" email on Saturday night and when I saw there were no new

names, I became VERY clear that I needed to be heard. IF there had

been new names, I am not sure how I would have been led differently

but I definitely would have been led differently. At this point I am

clear about some "we are all ministers of God" points and that is

enough said for now.

 

(paragraph omitted)

 

In the Light

 

RantWoman