That J is pronounced H

RantWoman is still digesting a number of events at Annual Session of North Pacific Yearly Meeting. Today she feels called to turn her inner blowtorch to the meeting of a group that used to call itself Lavender and Grey and decided at the meeting just to call itself Queer Quakers. Sometimes this group meets over ice cream. This year ice cream did not happen. Tragedy.

RantWoman does not know, did opening silence happen either?

RantWoman showed up late due to putting the Daily Bulletin to bed. This meant RantWoman missed an item or two at the beginning but got there in plenty of time for a go-around of introductions. RantWoman was struck during the go-round both by how much shared history there was in the room and by other threads weaving themselves into the community.

On the shared history front, Friends were passing around a photo album with pictures of many in the RantWoman is going to appreciate that much visual nostalgia, digital images and screen enlargement would help. The question of the evening: should the photo album be preserved intact or should those who wanted take home their favorite snapshots? Friends opted to take photos home.

Friends spoke of how far our Yearly Meeting has come: individual Meetings and then the whole Yearly Meeting came to clarity about marriage equality within our Meetings and later about calls for full legal marriage equality (and RantWoman found herself reflecting about how easy it was a time or two to draft action minutes based on those decisions in response to specific political situations). Heavens, there have even been three lesbian presiding clerks. Friends spoke of transgendered Friends, none of whom was present. Lurking around the edges of the conversation was the question “Look how far we have come. Why meet at all?”

The question lurked as Friends mentioned life as a gay man in a retirement community full of widows, being glad there was another same-sex couple with children in their kids’ school,. One Friend reminded Anglophones that the J at the beginning of her last name is pronounced H; this item prompted RantWoman in a later conversation to share a topical intercultural moment connected to Ferrener Brother-in-Law. RantWoman heard a clear “don’t assume everyone here is as white as most of us look!” comment.

RantWoman also found herself thinking of youth growing up queer or of Friends struggling about sexual orientation issues in some of the smaller communities where there are Monthly Meetings or Worship Groups. RantWoman found herself thinking of people like this and wondering how different Meetings assess their experience in this area. RantWoman did NOT find herself thinking that the Queer Quakers in the room would necessarily be the only place she would suggest to turn for assistance, and not only because RantWoman knows a number of LGBTQ Friends in her own Meeting who never participate in activities connected with Yearly Meeting.

A Friend spoke of updating her book on Lesbian Couples. She and her co-author held focus groups with younger women in same-sex relationships. The co-authors learned that among their informants, “lesbian” was reserved for women who are “old,” and apparently also bleached of associations from earlier eras with outspoken feminism. RantWoman herself recalled her undergraduate years when the women in the campus Gay Alliance decided to break away and separate themselves from too much male domination. This was the 1980’s. Using “Lesbian” in the new group’s name would have yielded a truly infelicitous acronym instead of the merely awkward and dorky one resulting from Gay Women. What RantWoman did not say: RantWoman never really identified with that group. For one thing RantWoman regularly stopped by the Women’s Center for other reasons besides that group’s meetings. For another, that group included lots of—there is no Quakerly way to say this--preppies, many of whom were on sports teams. RantWoman has always been pretty sports-challenged and was more of an all-purpose political activist, just a bit much for that group a lot of the time. (Sitting with all of this at 4 am led RantWoman to yet ANOTHER “be true to your Light” moment but that is a story for another hour, laboring with another topic.)

North Pacific Yearly Meeting is geographically large and diffuse. One way or another, almost any conversation, especially one about money and activity, comes around to travel and travel showed up at the Queer Quakers’ gathering too. Specifically should NPYM fund travel for a representative to FLGBTQC events? RantWoman confesses: she is aware that there Is a FLGBTQC listserve but has never signed up. One Friend spoke of how meaningful the FLGBTQC connection is to her; another opined that she had never supported funding representation specifically because she does not think FLGBTQC contributes very much to the life of our Yearly Meeting.

RantWoman really does not feel qualified to comment about the contribution to NPYM issue; she is posting it here for other Friends to reflect on. RantWoman did not even invoke her “go to events that come to one’s back yard” rule when the FLGBTQC midwinter gathering was held in nearby OR.

RantWoman does remember being struck when the FGC gathering was held in Tacoma by the broad range of theological experiences Friends at the FLGBTQC worship expressed with respect to their home Yearly Meetings. RantWoman in fact would pose questions about NPYM representation to FLGBTQC at least as much in terms of our Yearly Meeting’s ministry to the wider Quaker world as necessarily only in terms of service to our Yearly Meeting. But here a more reflective RantWoman mighte also consider all the cross-tradition, cross-theology conversations that occur in the context of work and worship around the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s theology conference.

Speaking of cross-tradition dialogue, RantWoman presents a blog post that reflects ongoing conversation ih New England Yearly Meeting about NEYM’s membership in Friends United Meeting, an organization which continues to have a personnel policy specifically unfriendly to LGBTQ Friends.
http://gtitl.blogspot.com/2011/08/neym-part-3-in-which-we-listen-deeply.html


Query: How is the spirit moving among LGBTQC Friends in our Monthly Meetings and Worship Groups, in our home communities, across NPYM, and over the wider community of Friends?