RantWoman feels SO blessed. RantWoman went for two years signing up and not getting placed in a spiritual sharing group. This year, when RantWoman's soul is beyond a mess, RantWoman has SCORED. RantWoman wants here to document what works, the mechanics if less of the spiritual exchange.
Everyone is serious and at different times everyone has done things to tend the forward momentum.
Lists of names were compiled by Worship and Ministry from among those who signed up. RantWoman is speaking only for her group and has no idea how other groups have done things. Someone volunteered / was volunteered (RantWoman is a little unclear which) to be the convenor, to receive the list of names and contact info and to send out initial queries about scheduling.
In the case of RantWoman's group, the initial query seems to have languished in everyone's email. A month or so later, RantWoman was cleaning out email, found the forgotten inquiry, and responded to prod everyone. This resulted in the first meeting getting scheduled and as RantWoman has written elsewhere, EVERYONE BROUGHT THEIR CALENDARS. They brought their calendars and we immediately scheduled all six recommended meetings.
We used the queries and guidelines and a time and stuck to even division of time.
Our Meeting has REALLY GOOD queries and guidelines, compiled from work by the Ensalem Institute. It has taken RantWoman a long time to get the point of queries as part of Quaker spiritual practice. RantWoman has a time or two just bypassed worship-sharing at different gatherings because the queries used were not proving helpful, but the queries used for our spiritual sharing so nicely create openings for discussions of common themes and framed in terms of what does Quakerism mean to each of us? RantWoman is also grateful the queries are not tied to any other text or scripture but are plainly Quaker.
Our group used the guidelines well. Okay the group initially had six members. We all decided we like each other a lot but two have dropped out. Both were prodded about returning and neither has. Alas, at 1/2 hour per person, this makes the time commitment more manageable.
The dropouts occurred after the first full session. We changed location and no one sent out a reminder so there were some oopses. But people took note of the fraying and the next time someone else sent out reminders. Most recently, yet another member was the one prodding to check about the scheduled time and location. In other words, the group matters to everyone in it!
Everyone in the group is well past 40. RantWoman, she thinks is the youngest member. RantWoman meditates about groups with different age mixes: in this case relationships and grown children / other interactions with youth are one meaningful theme and people share generously.
Everyone shares genuinely, listens well and asks questions at subsequent meetings to draw people out about the progress of matters previously mentioned. For those of you who think the latter is basic interpersonal connection 101, RantWoman finds this not to be assumed often enough specifically to call it out when it occurs. The followup over weeks is making a noticeable impact weaving together the fabric of our different stories.
The format calls for each person to share for 15 minutes followed by 15 minutes of clarifying discussion. People are generous about people going a little past limits and at the same time, no one is abusing others' time.
The everyone listens well has an interesting gender component. The group was originally two men and 4 women. One person of each gender dropped out and the gender dynamics shifted because of it. RantWoman may meditate about this theme elsewhere and here is just noting without further characterizing.
When RantWoman says everyone listens well, she means besides the respect for time and attention even when the delivery is a little disjointed, we are all just picking up how things reported have evolved. People ask perceptive, open-ended, non-judgmental questions. People also just take note and articulate trends or changes.
RantWoman is SO glad others besides herself are talking about continuing to meet!
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