Sunday, January 17, 2010

Silence?

RantWoman is clear that she would very much like to go to this year's Silent Retreat. RantWoman really could use a whole weekend of fresh air and silent communion, and the Silent Retreat is what she can afford to boot.



So what is the problem? What is the problem now?



RantWoman needs, basically to request reasonable accommodations. Dear Friend is wearing a hat that means it's his job at the very least to help season this request. Dear Friend has a history of some problematic points already, and RantWoman can predict that he will have strong personal opinions based on partial misapprehension and experience in an inapplicable context. RantWoman currently has two phone calls in to start community discussion.

RantWoman's basic needs:

--RantWoman wants to bring her laptop and headphones so she can read as everyone else does at silent retreat. Dear Friend has a time or two used RantWoman's computer at home to check email. He always finds Mr. JAWS annoying, especially at the speed RantWoman makes Mr. JAWS work. RantWoman has plenty of experience using her headphones at the library and out various other places in public. RantWoman loves the community that evolves at Silent Retreat and wants to disrupt that as little as possible. And RantWoman has no alternative to this request.

Well, if Friends want to designate a place where RantWoman can read and there is an open invitation to share in low voices of reading not on RantWoman's computer, RantWoman might consider that a gift. The point is just that not talking about it is not an option.


Despite Dear Friend's last terse email about being out of the dialogue for awhile, RantWoman is clear to try about shifting this view. RantWoman is clear she goes there at her own risk, and RantWoman is clear to try. Either that or here is another reason RantWoman is a raving lunatic.




RantWoman frequently appears to be coping really well with her midlife DNA lotto vision meltdown.

RantWoman does not walk into walls--much.

RantWoman so far has managed to work with Thwack the Cane well enough to notice the difference between using Thwack and not using Thwack. One time RantWoman was at an event involving our former mayor. RantWoman is tall. The mayor is taller. Neither is exactly a petite person. Yet Thwack was not on the job and RantWoman nearly body-slammed the mayor twice in about 10 minutes. That is one problem. Another problem is the number of people including Friends who, upon hearing this story, chuckle. Some know of RantWoman's protestor past; some don't. RantWoman just finds it a little disconcerting to hear, numbers of times, "Well...."

Now Seattle has a somewhat shorter mayor. Come to think of it, based on when he interacted with RantWoman without Thwack, he may also get confusing signals about what RantWoman can and cannot do.

RantWoman has pretty solid mobility skills and goes about very independently. RantWoman has glasses on her face and if RantWoman is in a familiar environment, a casual observer will think everything is fine.

RantWoman has been functioning tolerably well since a topical care committee laid itself down a year or so after some key medical events.

A lot of people in RantWoman's meeting seem not even to have grasped RantWoman's vision loss, and this despite the fact that Thwack the badly-behaved and thoroughly unQuakerly white cane nearly always comes along.


--2. Please tell RantWoman who you are. Shecan recognize faces about two feet away but needs reminders of names, sometimes several times for people she has just met.


--3. RantWoman needs to lay down the law, uniformly, at the beginning of the weekend: ASK first before trying to help or guide. If I ask for something, the default response should be "Do not argue about the form of help I ask for." And don't take it personally if I decline.

RantWoman supposes she is supposed to thank Dear Friend for embodying some of the issues behind these points. Dear Friend has a lot of company; it's just that the company does not go to Meeting and RantWoman has higher expectations about Friends at least being able to listen.

(RantWoman thinks she will make a couple other low-key requests in private but she wants to keep that as discrete as possible. Basically, RantWoman would be open to leading of Spirit about communications opportunities, but definitely does not want to overdo that.)

RantWoman knows her way around the site of the Silent Retreat pretty well. This is one reason RantWoman feels comfortable without making even more requests. RantWoman supposes she is supposed also to be grateful not to have to ask more. That would be a lot to ask of RantWoman right now.

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