The Actual Minute on a common understanding of Community Guidelines

GUIDELINES

University Friends Meeting - April 14 2019

At a time when University Friends Meeting is facing challenges to our community life we reaffirm our

commitment to the following beliefs and behaviors. The bullet points below are suggested ways to

implement the guidelines, not hard and fast rules.

Quaker processes and practices have served us well for hundreds of years.

● In business meeting speak only when called on by the clerk and stop speaking when asked to do

so by the clerk.

● Trust that committees are doing their work with their best Light.

● If tempted to speak repeatedly or at length on multiple items in business meeting, remember

that doing so may silence those who are quieter or take longer to be ready to speak.

● Trust the process of corporate discernment. Accept eldering when it comes in a spirit of love

from one of the pastoral care committees. A clearness committee can be a resource for this.

Every member and attender has that of God within them and should be treated with respect.

● Treat Friends with respect. Do not insult or call names, directly or indirectly.

● Be Kind. Do not make hurtful comments in person or by email about another person in the

Meeting.

● Be careful in your language. Do not speak or write disrespectfully of another Meeting member

or attender in spoken, written or electronic communication.

● Assume that others are speaking from their Divine center. Listen openly and do not attribute

intentions, motivations or feelings.

The meeting community as a whole, and individual Friends within the community have a right to

boundaries.

● Boundaries should be respected without blame, accusation, harassment, or questioning.

● If someone asks not to receive certain types of communication, be respectful of that. Check who

is receiving emails and be mindful of people’s preferences when using “Reply All”.

Structural inequalities such as able-ism, classism, or racism are real.

● Recognize that the Society of Friends and the world at large have significant structural

inequalities and that Meeting members have differing experiences of the impacts of these.

● Be mindful of the ways in which the UFM community is participating in structural inequality.

● Strive to recognize the difference between uncomfortable and unsafe when hearing someone

address structural inequalities.

● Speak your truth with love.

Queries

1. Do I speak and act on the assumption that differences in perspective in Meeting are waystations

on a path to unity?

2. When there is a conflict, do I refuse to blame any individual or group? Do I accept conflict as one

way we are led to a fuller understanding of the Light?

3. Are my messages spoken from my own experience with sincerity and integrity?

4. Do I state my position simply as one person among equals? Am I open to convincement by

others in Meeting?

5. Do I monitor myself in the Light when taking offense? Do I refuse to label other friends?

6. Do I acknowledge that none of us is flawless in either public or private life?